When the first trailers for the film ‘Miracles from Heaven’ began hitting the tv airwaves and multiplexes several years ago, I had mixed feelings about seeing the film. While I always support spiritual based films, and absolutely ADORE its leading lady Jennifer Garner, the main narrative triggered some panful parts of my past. Without giving any true spoilers, I will simply say the film is about a seemingly healthy young girl named Anna, from Ft. Worth, Texas who suddenly develops a life threatening and very rare intestinal disorder that send both her and her extended family on a challenging, painful, and FAITH testing journey.
While it has been nearly 25 years since I had my own several year long experience battling severe Crohn's disease, many of the horrific memories still hang heavy on my heart and I wasn't sure if this film would offer me an experience I was ready to engage. But signs from Spirit kept appearing from, well, everywhere that recently prompted me to plop down my Regal Cinema card and see what “mythological magic” might be imbued within it's ‘based on a true story’ narrative.
What I found most profound is that while the film obviously focuses on the nightmarish journey a family of deep FAITH must face, the basic beats of the film are fairly universal and is a wonderful example of the Hero's Journey. I could completely relate to being faced with an unthinkable challenge, not knowing exactly how to face it, and then “accepting the call”. And then, baring witness to the MIRACLES that suddenly appear when we most need them to. Sometimes they can be as simple as an unexpected phone call, or as grand as an accident(as in the film) that causes massive and completely unexpected results. But, these Heaven sent events often DO NOT appear before we our brought to our knees with despair and our FAITH is shattered nearly to the point of no return.
In fact, one late night when I was in the hospital for the third straight month with major complications from my Crohn's surgery, a priest walked by my darkened room and I turned my head to glaze into his eyes. He had been making rounds into my room for weeks and so we had built up a mutual bond of confidence and safety. He asked me if it was ok if he came in to the room to have a chat with me. I softly shook my head yes and he slowly walked toward my bed. He brought out his bible and laid it out near me. He asked me if it was ok for him to have a serious talk. In too much pain to worry about what he may say, I said, “Of course, Father.”
He sat pensive for a moment as though he was asking Spirit for the words to share with me. He then grabbed my right hand and lightly squeezed it. What he said next still informs my PURPOSE and paradigm for many of life's challenges to this day. Leaning in close he softly said, “Jeff, I don't know why certain people are meant to suffer. And I have seen you suffer more than most. What I can tell you, is that God is testing you my son.”
While I certainly appreciated his attempt to offer me his love, support, and kindness, his words just DID NOT ring true for me. After he read some passages from the bible and blessed me, Father left for the night. And I spent the next few hours prior to the sun's rising pondering what he had told me. I knew that if I had a child, there is NO conceivable way I would put them through the many years of torturous suffering I had endured as a way of “testing” them. In fact, it almost made me angry.
The next few days were some of the more challenging and frustrating I faced during my many months laying in that hospital bed. Mostly pondering that night's engagement with Father. I knew that his intention was absolutely of pure intent, but facing the endurance test of a several year battle for your own life causes one to go deeper. There is NO meaning left in simply “punching in and punching out” with life's daily time card.
About a week later, after my mid afternoon meal (though an IV bag of course), a young boy about 8 years old passed by my room with his parents close by. They peered in, and and the young lad asked me if I would like to challenge him to a race. He was fraught, skinnier than a fritter on a frying pan, pale as Casper the ghost and completely bald. He was hooked up to an IV, but he carried it with a grace as if it was a powerful staff.
I felt like HELL and was in an enormous amount of pain, but the courage and strength that this young HERO radiated gave me the instant gumption to hop out of bed and walk toward him. His parents profusely apologized for their son having interrupted me. I assured them it was my pleasure to meet them all. I slowly bent down and asked him his name. “Peter,” he said. “And I know I can beat you in a race down the hallway!” Never one to back down from a challenge, even from an 8 tear old, I said, “ You bet! We are both going to need to get our strength back up for when we get out of the hospital. ”
At which point, his mother touched me on the shoulder, and slowly shook her head NO as a small tear strolled down her face. I knew exactly what she meant. Peter was not going to be going home. He was obviously dying from cancer. It took every ounce of conviction I had to keep from breaking down right then and there. I took a few deep breaths and addressed Peter again.
“Ok, Peter, you're on. Let's race down to the edge of the nurse's check in office. Whoever gets there first shall forever be known as the Race Champion King of George Washington Hospital!” Peter's parents began a countdown and then we were off. I started off fast, and then slowed down to let Peter catch up to me, and eventually let him beat me by a a couple of feet!” I have witnessed kids on Christmas morning who were not nearly as thrilled as Peter was in that moment. He began spinning and dancing, and waking his arms in the air. And then, Spirit created an opening of KNOWINGNESS that stays with me to this day.
We aren't made to suffer and be utterly challenged because God is trying to TEST us. It suddenly came to me that these experiences, albeit hard as hell at times, give us the ultimate experience of having OPPORTUNITIES. As Napoleon Hill said, ”Your biggest opportunity stands exactly where you stand right NOW.” For instance, the greatest thrill of my life was in the OPPORTUNITY of letting little Peter experience the feeling of wining our race that day nearly 20 years ago. Without our pain, suffering, and challenges, we would not have so many of the opportunities that carry with them the majestical miracles that life has to offer. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “ Never lose the opportunity of seeing something beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting.”
Please do not misunderstand me, I am not trying to condone or make light of the plethora of tragedy, loss, pain, and suffering we all endure at some point in life. Nobody s exactly sure of their full purpose. Life can be BRUTAL. Even soul crushing at times. We often lose our faith and belief in any form of a higher power. But rather than looking at them as TESTS, what would it look like for us to embrace them for what they truly represent. Opportunities for MIRACLES to surround and support us. And for US to BE THOSE MIRACLES for others. In the form of love, compassion, kindness, generosity of spirit, and understanding. THAT is why we are here and without these OPPORTUNITIES we would not be able to experience the glorious feelings they can bring.
Towards the end of the film, Anna's mother gives a speech to her church's congregation:
“When Anna got sick, I couldn't understand. Why?.....I felt helpless, alone..Angry that our prayers weren't being answered. I lost my faith. Albert Einstein said there are only two ways to look at life. One is that everything is a miracle. The other is that nothing is a miracle. Miracles are goodness....from strangers...to dear friends who are there for us no matter what...Miracles are LOVE...Miracles are GOD and GOD's forgiveness. Why was Anna healed when there are so many other children around the world suffering? I don't know. But, I do know that I am not alone. And neither are you........Because miracles surround us, and miracles are God's way of letting you know you are not alone”
And if you find yourself in a point in life where there seems to be no MIRACLE in sight.....
GO BE ONE FOR SOMEONE ELSE........
BE SUPER HEROIC!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
No comments:
Post a Comment