HOW To STOP Being A Victim..... and START Being VICTORIOUSLY HEROIC... !

 

“People of National City.  This is Supergirl.  I hope you can hear me.  We have been attacked. Mothers and fathers, friends and neighbors.  Suddenly stopped by a force of evil as powerful as this world has ever known.  Your attacker has sought to take your free will, your individuality, your SPIRIT, everything that makes you who you are.  When facing an attack like this, it is easy to feel hopeless, we retreat, we lose our strength , we lose ourselves.  I know.  I lost everything.  When I first landed on this planet I was sad and alone.  But I found out, that there is so much LOVE in this world out there for the taking.  And you, the people of National City have helped me. You let me be who I AM MEANT TO BE.  You gave me back to myself.  You made me stronger than I ever thought possible.  And I LOVE you for that.  Now in each and everyone of you there is a Light, a Spirit that cannot be sniffed out and won't give up.  I need your help again.  I need you to HOPE...HOPE.  That you can remember that you can all be HEROES.  HOPE that when faced with an enemy determined to destroy your spirits... you will fight back and thrive... HOPE, that those that once may have shunned you, in a crisis, will come back to you in your need of aid.   HOPE, that you will see again the faces of those you LOVE, and perhaps even those you have lost. ”
~~  Supergirl     (Supergirl)

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How many people do you know that secretly desire to be writers of one form or another?  They have at least ‘one or two’ books in them.  Yet others may even have derived the ‘someday titles’ of these sure to be future best sellers. Yet, weeks, then months, and years pass by them by, and not a single page has been touched with any ink. 

Now, juxtapose this with all the people you know who are seemingly addicted to their EGO FILLED PERSONAL STORIES.  Stuck in a maddening (for them and US) pattern of perpetual rewind and play that consists of the The Best Hits of the loss, fractured relationships, complaining, excuses, problems, and other areas of their lives that just plain stink. Especially when it has gotten to the point where you you have heard the story so often, you can play along in your inner monologue, as if quoting lines from a movie you've seen one too many times!  Sound vaguely familiar?  ;0)

And let me tell ya, more than once I have had my own ‘Best Of’  playing like a 24 hour Christmas marathon of ‘It's A NOT SO Wonderful Life.’  Not so much fun for me or anyone else in earshot of this dysfunctional and insidious record player which is actually keeping us stuck from moving forward in our lives.

Now don't misunderstand me. We ALL need to talk through our problems, pain, and issues.  It's a crucial part of the healing process.  And being a compassionate and kind listener for others in their times of emotional need can be one of the most powerful gifts we have at our disposal.  In fact,  at The University of Santa Monica, one of their favorite mantras was “no healing can begin until the last tear has been shed.” Amen! But sometimes, our little gremlin of an EGO comes into play, and has a pastiche of inventive tricks and mind games that actually desperately desires us to hold on to our past stories through the filter of victimhood to keep us from moving forward and growing back toward the LIGHT.  This is when we can get into some serious patterned problems!

In Eckhart Tolle's phenomenal book ‘A New Earth,’ he says,  “A very common role is one of the victim, and the form of attention it seeks from others in the form of pity, sympathy or others' interest in my problems, me and my story.”  Seeing oneself as a victim is an element in many EGOIC patterns, such as complaining, being offended, outraged, and so on. Of course, once I am identified with a story I have assigned myself the role of victim, I don't want it to end. And so, as every therapist knows, the EGO DOES NOT want an end to its problems because they are a part of its identity. If no one will listen to my sad story, I can tell it to myself in my head, over and over again and feel sorry for myself so have an identity as someone who is being treated unfairly by life, other people, fate, or God.”

So very often, this addiction we have to our stories is actually a part of our own EGO wanting us to keep playing small. To hold the veil of illusion over our perception making it quite difficult to Re-member Who We Really Are. And to make things more challenging, we then tend to “make up” stories about who we think we really are based on our egoic pattern of not letting our old stories GO!

As Tolle addresses from the same book, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your THOUGHTS about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is ALWAYS neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation and fact, and here are my thoughts about it.  Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts.  For example, “I am ruined,” is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking action. Facing facts is always empowering. Be aware that what you think, to a large extent, creates the emotions that you feel. See the link between your thinking and your emotions. Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” Learn it, live it, love it!  The action steps Tolle describes above can make the most profound shifts in perspective.  And can save you from a gi-normous amount of needless pain and emotionally suffering about our STORIES.

Just as important as it is to know when to functionally be in emotional assistance of others in need, it is EQUALLY important to understand when to create healthy boundaries in NOT BECOMING a part of another's dysfunctional story.  Whether we realize it or not, when we allow the people in our lives to carry on with the exact same stories of a STUCK and DYSFUNCTIONAL nature, we actually BECOME a part of them ourselves.  So if I can offer a suggestion that has worked wonders in my relationships, it's called the ‘Three Strike Rule.’I will allow myself to entertain the same story with someone three times.  Hopefully, we can co-create some sort of understanding, uncover an a-ha moment, or self realization about how to move forward during these three chats.  After that, I compassionately explain that unless some radically NEW information or aspect to the story as been found or created, that I cannot continue in the patterned process as to not become a part of the story myself. It may seem a little harsh, but it is actually a healthy self boundary action AND will help (at least with you) to curb these perpetual stories from being continually talked about in your energetic presence. I will also often offer up my reasoning for this boundary by saying how much I care for the other person and how I would like to assist in helping them from being MIRED in the past so that they can move forward toward the new life that is waiting for them!   Sometimes, we are not even aware just how much we are holding on to the stories we think define us. Try it in your own words and see how it works for you.....   

Let's face it, at the end of the day, what we are all seeking with our stories is to find a sense of PEACE about them, right?!   I have a personal knowingness that the real issue is not that our life stories are not a part of our core bring, but only when looked at through the proper lens can they help propel us forward in life.  When we learn to use the transformative tools of ACCEPTANCE and GRATITUDE as the perspective in which to view our life, our stories no longer are clouded by the dysfunctional poison of the EGO. But rather become the essence from which we can unleash our true power!  So I will close with this perfect prose from Tolle's ‘A New Earth’ as he espouses, “Listen to people's stories and they can all be titled ‘Why I Cannot be at Peace Now.’ The Ego doesn't know that your only chance at being at peace is NOW. Or maybe it DOES know and is afraid you will find this out.  Peace, after all, is the end of the EGO.  How to be at peace NOW. By making peace with the present moment.  The present moment is the field on which the game of life happens.  It cannot happen anywhere else.  Once you have made peace with the present moment, see what happens, what you can do, or choose to do, or rather what life does THROUGH you.  There are three words that convey the secret to the art of living.  ONE WITH LIFE.”

BE SUPER HEROIC!

BE LOVE- SERVE ALWAYS - INSPIRE ALL

NERDMASTE,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

PROOF In The ULTRA POWER Of BELIEF.....!

 

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Back in 1996, I traveled down to Atlanta to attend my very first Olympic Games.  In was, to say the very least, awe inspiring.  Tickets were tough to get your hands on given the ubiquitous fervor surrounding the entire event here in the United States.  For me, the highlights were getting to watch the GOLD medal game with ‘The Dream Team’, the once in a lifetime collection of the greatest NBA stars ever assembled on one team.   As well as attending one round of the women's  GOLD winning gymnastics tournament, that of course made SUPERSTARS out of many of the young ladies on the team now known as ‘The Magnificent Seven.’ .  But there was one member of the team who was completely unaware of the synchronicity that was going to later touch her life in the most miraculous of ways.   Her name is Dominique Moceanu, and her story of LOVE and reconciliation is truly SOUL stirring.  

And as I found out watching an episode of HBO's REAL SPORTS earlier this week, this event touched and changed the life of another incredibly special young lady who was watching her idol Dominique from her home in a little town in the suburbs of Chicago.  But in a way that I could NEVER fathom.  Her name is Jennifer Bricker and she was born without legs.  Given her birth defect, she was  given up for adoption from her birth parents soon after coming into this world. 
But she was adopted by a loving couple and raised to have absolutely NO LIMITATIONS.  Excuses were not allowed in their household.  Neither was the word CAN'T.  This couple raised her with an unending amount of courage and self belief that belied the fact that she was born with no extremities below her waist.  

Instead, Jennifer grew up in complete reverence of her HERO Dominique Moceanu.  So she set her mind on becoming....   a gymnast!  Even without legs, she had no limiting beliefs and never allowed the word FAIL to enter her conscious thoughts.  For motivation, she covered every inch of her bedroom with posters and pictures of her idol Dominique.  In fact, other than their shared passion for the sport of gymnastics, they even shared a similar visual aesthetic.  

Inspired by her idol's fearless feats of dazzling physical prowess, only fueled Jennifer's pursuit to become the number one gymnast in the state of Illinois.  And ya know what!?   Proving that the only limitations we have reside in our mind, Jennifer accomplished her goal and dream, becoming the number ONE rated gymnast in her state while still in High School!!  Not only that, she also excelled in volleyball, basketball, and softball as well!  To those who witnessed her feats of courage, dedication, and perseverance, she became a local LEGEND!

Obviously an amazingly gifted and talented athlete, Jennifer was also deeply spiritual and intuitive.  So one day while staring at a picture of Dominque, she had a heartfelt premonition.  She asked her adoptive parents if she could have a talk with them about her birth parents.  And it was on that very day that her long held intuitive beliefs were realized.  Her parents told her that she was Dominique's sister, given up at birth by parents who were looking to raise a champion gymnist, never having the FAITH that someone born without legs could accomplish such a feat.  So for all these years, Jennifer's idol and hero was actually her sister!  Deep down, Jennifer was always drawing strength from her now known sister in a way that in my eyes, proves that bonds run deep and that we are all truly CONNECTED AS ONE!

It took four years for Jennifer to muster the courage to actually send Dominique a letter letting her know that she had a sister she never knew about.

Published in Moceanu’s new memoir “Off Balance,” the letter included photos and Bricker’s adoptive papers. Bricker wrote to her sister: “I feel that I have one chance to show you and prove to you that I’m not some crazy person, but I’m sure after seeing all of the papers, you’ll see that I’m serious,” the New York Daily reports.

Moceanu, now 34, recounted to ABC her reaction to the letter, “It was the biggest bombshell of my life. Rage was my first emotion, had my life been a lie? I had this sister that was born who was given up for adoption, and I never knew it.”

When she confronted her parents, they told her that Bricker was born the day after Moceanu’s sixth birthday. Moceanu’s mother, Camelia, said that her husband, Dmitry, forced her to give up the baby, saying that they couldn’t afford the medical care that would be necessary.

“I never saw my baby. I never held her, never touched her, never even smelled her. I desperately wanted to, but your father told me we had to give her up and that was that,” Camelia said.

~~  Excerpt from Kathleen Miles from the Huffington Post.

Ironically enough, Dominique had a very tumultuous relationship with her parents and actually went to court to legally emancipate herself from them, going as far as having a restraining order against her father who she she claimed physical abused her while growing up in their household.

But all the pain and confusion soon dissipated when Jennifer and Dominque finally met in person for the first time.  The physical similarities were striking, down to small mannerisms both shared.  But it was the SOULFUL connection that was instantly apparent.  Proving that LOVE truly has NO boundaries and transcends time and space.

The sisters now share a life that is spent making up for lost time and memories.  Yet, according to them, it is almost as though they were never separated in the first place. They both accept their individual Heroine's Journey as their own unique path. 

I cried deeply while watching this segment in my hotel room in NY.  I thought of my own birth father whom I never met.  And how, just like Jennifer, life intervened with a step father who was an angel in human clothing.  More importantly, it reminded me how this Journey of life is such a miracle of joyful and unexpected events.  Although painful and confusing at times, it is also MIRACULOUS and MAGICAL.   If we simply BELIEVE in its  majestic power and intent.  We often do not know why things happen, and that is part of the mystery and magic that makes this a daily adventure that rivals the greatest stories of MYTH ever told!

BE SUPER HEROIC!

BE LOVE - SERVE OTHERS - INSPIRE ALL

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

A Transcendent TRIBUTE To My Father On His BIRTHDAY....!

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY POP!!

On the eve of what would have been my father's 74th Birthday, here is my TRIBUTE to the greatest SUPERHERO I've ever met......!

Some believe that angels are ordinary souls who come into your life to help you believe in MIRACLES again.  If this sentiment bares any truth, than I met my first ANGEL when I was a young lad of just 3 years of age.   My birth father had abandoned our family while we were living out in California, leaving my mom with two small children, little use of her right arm from a horrendous car accident, and absolutely no money.  But as Napoleon Hill always said, “Within every adversity, every failure, and every heartache there lies within it a seed of an equal or greater opportunity.”

Opportunity comes in many forms.  And often NOT wrapped in the way we would have ever imagined them to be.  Such was the case with Roger Lee Poston!  I first met this slice of Heaven when my mom moved my sister and I from California to Washington DC shortly after my birth father left our tribe.  He was a young man of 25 and was friends with my mom's sister, as they were both teachers just starting out on their career Journey's.  Although we were in many ways an unlikely dynamic duo, it was absolutely ‘Friends at First Sight.’  He was a good ole' country boy from the pan handle of Virginia; think “The Beverly Hillbillies” sans the ‘Beverly’ part.  He had thick, curly hair and despite his very best efforts, a dialect that was laced with the Southern twang while growing up in a little town called Saltville, known as the ‘salt capital’ of the Confederacy during the Civil War.  His face was quite pale; in fact I always teased him that he had three colors: white, red, and redder!  LOL  Pop was short and stocky with forearms and calves that rivaled those of Popeye.  

His aesthetic contrasted greatly with mine.  I was super skinny with straight, jet black hair and olive skin.  I was also painfully shy and introverted (hard for anyone who knows me now to contemplate)
and due to the harsh traumas from early childhood TRUST was an emotion that felt foreign to my sensibility.  I had been surrounded and raised by women until this extraordinary man appeared in my life.  Suddenly, I was being introduced into the world of ‘guy stuff’ on a daily basis.  From comic books and Slurpees, to movies and batting cages, putt-putt golf and Spiderman early morning cartoons, the world suddenly exploded into a cacophony of glorious geekdom!  

And it wasn't just me, as he showered my sister, mother, and the rest of the Lapham clan with the same sense of love and reverence.  So when my mom set my sister and I down to let us know he had asked her to marry him, for the first time in my young life, my heart felt a sense of PEACE, and security.  I finally felt......... SAFE.  

I still remember the very first time I was able to garner the courage to call him DAD.   He was getting ready for work, and I paced back and forth just outside his bedroom door;  practicing all the while, the manner in which I was going to approach him about it.  I placed my ear up to the door and could hear him just about to emerge into the rec-room.  My palms were so sweaty and my heart was literally pounding out from my chest.  Until, the door opened and as he walked out of the bedroom, I tentatively stepped in front of him and looked him square in the eye.   

“I have a question for you,” I said in a hushed voice.  It took all the intestinal fortitude I could muster, my bottom lip quivering just a bit, before finally garnering the courage to ask “Is it OK if I call you Dad?”

He stayed silent for a few precious moments which seemed like a lifetime. He placed his right hand on my shoulder and said “Jeff, I have been waiting for you to ask me that for several years.  And there is nothing in this world that would make me happier!”  He then pulled me in for one of his well known bear hugs and he started to cry.  And then tears started from my own relieved core.

But it is what he said next that has been permanently imprinted into my reverence and Re-membramce of him.  “Jeff, just promise me one thing,” he said.  “Although I will ALWAYS consider you to be my son, if the day comes where you choose to try and meet Danny (my birthfather) I will always support you.  He was part of the process that brought you to me, and for that I will always hold a space of GRATITUDE for Danny in my heart, and I will until the day I die.”  Now it's one thing to utter such good intentions, but my Dad did something I consider to be one of the most powerful testaments of reverence I have EVER received. Despite many of the ugly acts that Danny brought about us in the years that followed, Dad NEVER once spoke even ONE word of judgement or ill-will towards him.   I knew it was out of respect and still ponder in a complete vibration of AWE whenever I think about this act of unfathomable reverence for a man who caused my family so much pain.   

I contribute SO MUCH of who I AM to this man of undeniable STRENGTH and authenticity.  He taught me what it means to live life as a MAN.  Here is just a sampling of his teachings to me:

~~  Never be afraid of your emotions Jeff.  One of the greatest signs of inner strength and courage is to not be afraid to cry.  In fact, I think as a whole, we shed more tears at the movies to fill an olympic sized swimming pool!

~~Women are the greatest gift to this world.  And should be treated as such.  If I ever find out you have mistreated  a young lady, I will ‘kick you through the goalposts of life.’   If you want to find out what that looks like, test me!   lol

~~ Don't EVER let anyone confuse your kindness for weakness.  They are NOT the same thing.  Buyer beware!

Looking back, my Dad was the very first Superhero I ever met.  Not only did he work two, sometimes three jobs to put food on the table, but HE NEVER CALLED IN SICK IN 40 YEARS.
I never ONCE heard him complain, even when I could see the toll of working 70 hour work weeks for over 30 years wearing him down to the bone.  He was a true warrior who lived a life that was completely personified by hard work and being of SERVICE always and in all ways.   

This may be hard to believe, but I never saw him buy ANYTHING for himself.  He was much more concerned with making sure his students had anything they needed, and was quick to think of others in a quick trip to the mall.  “Hell fire Jeff.  The only thing I truly need is the love of your mother, you and Sandy,” (my sister) was his superhero catchphrase!   

Always a man of his word, he never let me down ONE time during our 40 year relationship.  And he didn't even need a Batsignal.  His Spidey-sense was always set to surprise and service.  Back in 1997 when I spent almost a year in the hospital battling Crohn's disease, he came for a visit EVERY SINGLE DAY.  All while working two jobs.  And I mean it, Dad never skipped one day, always sneaking in a tasty treat or a comic book or one of my favorite films.  

So in 2013, when he was diagnosed with a rare and devastating form of cancer, I had no problem leaving my job and moving into my parent's basement to help with his massive amount of daily care taking.  Although he fought the dis-ease so valiantly, the cancer eventually spread to his brain.  And he passed away in December of the same year.  

I was fortunate enough to be alongside his bed while he passed away.  In fact, my mom, sister, aunt Rena, and my girlfriend at the time were all there holding vigil over him.  The manner in which he transitioned was as close to a MIRACLE as I have ever seen.  With only the use of one eye, he was truly able to connect to everyone there.  He stared lovingly at each of us as we said our individual goodbyes.  But when he got to my side of the bed, his one eye intently glaring into mine without blinking, I felt .....  Heaven.   His soul was almost fully there, while a precious piece remained so we could say goodbye.  While I leaned in close to him, thanking him for all the LOVE, support and guidance he poured upon me something magical happened.  I received a quick glimpse of a future period of NOW.  Without saying a word, he was communicating with me in a manner far more clear than using any type of vernacular.  The best way I can explain it, is to think of a portal opening up.  It contained images of what my life was to become.  And the message was crystal clear.  It was time for me to start committing to my own PURPOSE and beginning the next stage of my Hero's Journey.  I felt a sense of peace and KNOWINGNESS in that moment of what I needed to do.  

Dad  took three, slow, deep breathes, and then transitioned back into the LOVE of BLISS.  And although I was understandably sad, he had, in those final moments, given me the greatest gift of all! KNOWINGNESS.  It was time for me to use my pain and suffering to become a Wounded Healer.  And for once, I wasn't afraid to take that leap.  My dad showed me a glimpse of the support behind the ‘Curtain of Oz.’ and once taking the smallest sip from SOURCE energy like that was available to me in my dad's final breathes, I just KNEW the complete shift I was being asked to take in my life!

So today I honor you Dad.  I MISS you more than you can imagine.  And know you hear my daily prayers to you.  And I have the KNOWINGNESS that so much of the amazing miracles that have filled up my life in the last two months have been orchestrated by you.  

And to all the Fathers in the world, may today bring you a sense of your unmeasurable worth to us all!

BE SUPER HEROIC!

BE LOVE  -- SERVE ALL - INSPIRE ALWAYS

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

HOW To MAKE Life's EXPECTATIONS Stop Causing YOU So Much PAIN... !

 

My family laid my father to rest eight years ago after his VALIANT fight with cancer.  One of the greatest decisions I ever made was taking time off from my career to assist in his daily care regimen.  What started out as a tumor in his nasal cavity, eventually found its way to his brain.  You may hear stories about the effects of this disease, but until you witness a loved one battle it on a daily basis, you simply cannot fathom the all encompassing and oppressive wrath of nature it brings to everyone involved in its wake.  NASTY...EVIL... SOUL CRUSHING stuff! 

And as a caretaker, each and every day becomes an opportunity to learn the importance of managing your expectations.  Learning to orchestrate and accept what may come in the kaleidoscope of  daily chaos is truly the determining factor in withstanding the momentous task at hand.  To further cement this point, let's just say projectile vomiting, daily trips to emergency rooms, and fainting spells that block entrances to popular establishments became commonplace.  Feel me?!

In fact, there is one particular story during this Journey that still stands as the most MEMORABLE, not to mention most powerful example of the importance of managing our daily expectations and accepting life as it occurs! 

My dad needed to have the entire right side of his face surgically removed in order to access the lemon sized tumor that had invaded his nasal cavity.  Bone was taken from his left leg to rebuild his cheek to create relative semblance of his face's pre-surgery form.  However, in the process, a new throat path was implemented for breathing and eating purposes.  As you can imagine, at his mature age, it took months of daily physical therapy for him to ‘re-learn’ how to swallow properly.  Doing so incorrectly would cause remnants to enter his lungs and not his stomach.  Serious stuff!  

His medical team put him on a grueling daily schedule that included just about anything and everything you could think a mouth and jaw could withstand, sans my dad's favorite passion of eating.  I mean nothing, nada, zilch in the food department for over three months.  Of course he was being fed through his IV lines, but let's be truthful, that does NOT a full belly make!  So I made him a promise.  I told him then the moment his doctors cleared him to finally delve back into the world of culinary delight, I would personally bring him whatever his blessed heart desired!

Several weeks later, I received a call from the hospital one early morning.  It was my Pop, and from the ebullient sound of his voice, I just knew he had been cleared for full swallowing!!   What I hadn't prepared myself for was the exhaustive list of various tasty treats he had his sights set on gobbling down.  In fact, here is the full list:  Pancakes from the local diner, a Wendy's hamburger and fries, a chocolate shake,  a whipped frap AND a regular coffee from Starbucks, jello, and “any kind of pie you can get your paws on Jeff”.  OK!  A promise is a promise.......

After the nearly two hour trek to actually procure all the items on his wish list, I finally made my way to hospital and I now know what Santa Claus must feel like.  My father's eyes lit up like it was his first Christmas as I slowly removed one piece of food after another from the giant bag I had brought.  It took two tables to set up the entire spread, and once I was finished, I looked him straight in the eye.  

“Are you sure you are ready for all this, Pop,” I inquired.  He was much too busy scouring the buffet tables before him to give me eye contact back.  But he nodded his head in a resounding YES fashion!

And just then, the Crohn's disease that sometimes causes me urgent need for a ‘bathroom break’ hit.  And HARD!  I decided to throw proverbial caution to the windpipe, and ran straight for the toilet.  Until......relief!!  But I soon heard a most disconcerting sound.  I am known to make some interesting bathroom music, but this was....different.  Nervously, I KICKED open the bathroom door, to see my father horribly choking in his chair!   His face was already turning blue!!   I immediately flung off the sweatpants and underwear that were still down around my ankles and ran back into his room, now NAKED from the waist down.   Yeah, I'm not kidding!!

There was a huge bed next to the chair where he had been eating, so I jumped up on it and grabbed my dad by his waist to start giving him the heimlich maneuver.  In between each shrug, I yelled for help toward the nurse's office with the room number where this..ummm...incident was occurring!  

One after another, nurses and doctors filled the room (nine in all), and jaws dropped each time at what they were witnessing.  Here was a HALF NAKED Mexican on a bed, shaking the hell out of a 65 year old man, bouncing up and down like a tryout for Cirque de Soleil!  Until.....POOOOOFFFF!!  The piece of food lodged in my dad's throat shot out across the room literally sticking to the wall several feet away.  I slowly, and gently put him down to rest in the bed.  The now somewhat emotionally scarred medical professionals in witness to this EVENT, rushed to my father's side as I slowly backed away.

Thank GOD, he was just fine!!   It was ME who then needed help.  The emotional charge of what had just happened starting to wear off, I remembered, I was still buck naked in a room full of strangers.  Aye Dios Mio!

Thankfully, the entire room started applauding my efforts, as I jaunted back to the bathroom where my PRIDE still resided.  Now YOU tell ME!  Could even my wildest expectations ever have conjured or even prepared me for the experiences that day brought?!  No way, Jose!  And guess what, although none of them nearly as bizarre as that day's, the Journey our entire family fought for over a year, trying to battle this cursed disease, brought dozens of unexpected delays, trauma, and scares.  We were initially told my dad's surgery and recovery process would be six weeks.    He didn't even WAKE UP from surgery for almost two months.  Looking back, I believe our biggest saving grace was learning to accept the ISNESS of our daily battles.  Through the lens of rear view perspective, the culmination of these experiences, albeit painful, costly and challenging, were also incredibly powerful lessons in how much our expectations play a role in determining how we deal with life.   Had we each conjured our own personal expectations for this year long roller coaster of a ride, it would have destroyed our emotional fortitude.  Expectations are NO THING more than premeditated resentments!  Please DO NOT let them be the author of the majority of the pain and suffering in your life.  Instead, remember that Katherine Hepburn said, “Love has nothing to do with what you expect to get-only what you are expecting to give.”

BE SUPER HEROIC!

BE LOVE - SERVE ALL - INSPIRE ALWAYS

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

MODERN MYTH MESSAGES: BLACK LIGHTNING ..!

 

Jefferson Pierce has finally had enough! Years ago, he made the agonizing choice to hang up his Super Suit. And now lives a quiet life as the Principle of Garfield High School in the South East town of Freeland. Where his much touted manifesto to all students becomes: 

"It's your life! Live it to the fullest! And by all means necessary!" 

When racist tensions once again return and invade his city from multiple angles, (including the shooting death of one of his female students) he decides it's his destiny to dust off and don the suit that concentrates all of his Super Powers, as he transforms back into BLACK LIGHTNING! 



Jefferson has just fielded the police call informing him of this needless tragedy.


Jefferson Pierce: (Black Lightning...  from his home office): Daniel, what's up?!

Daniel: (Officer) Jeff, umm.....I didn't want you to hear it from the news. Luanda (his former student) is dead. Just got the call a few minutes ago. (Several beats) I'm sorry.............

Close in on Jefferson's blank stare .......... As he slowly and incredulously hangs up the phone.

Jefferson: (several minutes later, watching the horrific TV news footage of Luanda's dead body being loaded into an ambulance) What good did it do Lynne!! She was my student! (starting to pace) I had a fantasy. That when they leave me, their lives are better! That they could transcend this neighborhood.....this city...this world! Yeah....I saved more lives as the Principle of Garfield High than I ever did as Black Lightning!!

Lynn: (his ex-wife and renewed neurosurgeon): It's true.....

Jefferson: It's a lie!! Luanda is dead!!

Lynn: She is...(very calmly) I know... I know. And....and it hurts. And I understand. And I feel it too.

Jefferson: But I could have saved her! I could have saved so many (lives).
But I've been living a lie. 

Living in the hopes that you and me...(voice trails off) and the girls (their two girls) could somehow live behind a white picket fence. A normal life! I'm not normal!! Never have been! Never will be!

Lynn: Jeff, listen to me, this is the addiction talking....

Jefferson: (with rage) There is no damn addiction!! (taking time to calm down)
Do you remember what you said? When we discovered my (super) powers? 
You said it was a gift....a blessing from God. It's still a gift. It's still a blessing from God. And I intend to use it. And NOT just for the girls. But for all the other people out there who need me!

FROM DC COMICS AND THE CW'S: BLACK LIGHTNING 

Just as Jefferson Pierce was faced with the challenging decision on the manner in which to live out his own life, so are we all given the choice of how to spend each and every precious moment of our existence. Right?! As Hellen Keller said, "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all." 

I talk a great deal about the bevy of ways in which to live your life through Super Heroic means. For although this world is currently facing a battalion of 'close to apocalyptic' worthy challenges, I ardently believe that the ANSWER to these adversities are lying within each and every one of us! That's right! Perhaps that is either Amazon-Alexa inclined music to your ears, or a cause for heart palpitations from the understandable pressure! ;0) Stay with me...  It's all gonna be OK!

Similar in vein to Black Lightning, the four decade seminal superhero Rocky Balboa is as perfect an example as one can muster towards a life filled with Super Heroism. The extraordinary appeal of the Rocky movie franchise continues to inspire a "largesse legion of fans" even after the films initial release way back in 1976. It's largely due to their innate ability in using the boxing ring as a metaphor to "the hard knocks of life" that is a grand portion of The SUPERHERO's Journey. Rocky's path is very much the same as our own. Full of exasperating highs and devastating blows that often knock are asses back to the proverbial mat time and time again! 

His path personifies the motivating message: it is NOT how many times you get knocked down, but rather how many times that you "get back up!" Because one of the key characteristics of Super Heroic Success is perseverance.  As world renown ferocity expert and best selling author Steven Kotler says, "The ass kicking life gives you never stops!' PREACH! 

The opponents Rocky faces in the ring are direct metaphors for all the mountains we must face and climb in our own lives. One step, one punch, one round at a time! Always re-member you are MUCH greater than any obstacle or situation life "throws at you." And what would it look like to transcend whatever challenge that currently stands before you as no thing less than a Soul Sent opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve into the next "Grandest Vision of YOU!" Because that is EXACTLY all that monster of a mountain really represents.  It is an opportunity for you to be further strengthened and forged in an area that still requires healing, re-membrance, and finally expansion for your highest good! TRUST!  

May these words offer you re-membrance to transcend your life's greatest mountains into MOMENTOUS MAGIC!

While there is absolutely no denying that this experience called life is 'Chock Full O' Pain,'I think my favorite acronym for this feeling comes from the fabulous Iyanla Vanzant.  She says that pain means : PAY ATTENTION INWARD NOW! BOOM! Couldn't have said it better myself, so I won't! ;0)

Pain is both a powerful and perfect Professor! And yet, most of us ignore our pain. And try and numb it with a pastiche of outer "quick hits of pleasure" such as drugs, alcohol, and materialistic pleasures. Numbing our pain also stunts our self growth. And leaves so many life lessons spread out all over the table waiting to be addressed like overdue bills. We know all to well what the consequences of not addressing unpaid bills becomes. A total nightmare that crushes our fiscal health. The same thing holds true when we resist our physical pain. For what we resist will ALWAYS persist, and what we are courageous enough to engage will melt away. Once we have learned what it came to teach us!

We are all SUPER HEROES.  All you New Age Nerds know that tune ever so fondly by now! LOL Ever so strong and built to withstand all sorts of PAIN! That's why we all chose to come here at this time. Our collective rallying cry is "Under Pain, Never Will I Feign!" For this dense realm will never stop giving you the most elaborately grand and complex challenges the Universe is capable of providing. The ass kickings keep coming! And Thank The Grand Creator they do. Because we KNOW that the bigger our life's challenges, the more opportunity we have to forge an even greater version of our Super Heroic Higher Self! We even get a few extra credit super heroic God filled nods along the way. One for every occasion! I mean, who doesn't like to rock their hard fought and earned super hero cape down every "red carpet" of their experiences?! ;0)

As one of my all time favorite, real life ( fingers in ears - la la la...la la la....  I can't hear your epithets ) Super Heroes, Deadpool learned from his personal trainer, the very fiesty fighter from Philly , Rocky Balboa ........

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows Deadpool. It can be a very mean and nasty place. And I don't care how tough you are; it will bring you to your knees. And keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. Cause that's how winning is done!

Your unique pain points contain the map towards a one of a kind set of Super Powers only you possess. And trying to find and UNLEASH them out into the world without sitting through a few classes taught by "Professor Pain" is simply futile. Remember, your pain points are filled with unlimited possibility!  For they came to teach you, develop certain super skill sets, and allow you to become the grandest version of yourSELF! The one now needed in order to find and fulfill your unique life's CALLING! The one that ONLY YOU can bring to fruition. The one that you promised to make manifest for both yourSELF and the betterment of saving the whole World! Again, no pressure!  ;0)

What would it look like to start paying closer attention to your own pain points? Just as Jefferson Pierce (Black Lightning) was forced to do. Rather than shrugging them off for a "rainy day." Think of it this way. The quicker you address and heal your pain points, the faster you will re-discover your set of Super Powers. And who doesn't want to be in control of the vast arrays in which you can live a Super Heroic life! Cause that's when life truly becomes one giant EPIC ADVENTURE!

As my THREE TENETS OF BEING SUPER HEROIC TOUTS -----
BE LOVE-----  SERVE ALL -----  INSPIRE ALWAYS

Here is a poem I wrote to hopefully INSPIRE anyone still searching for their reason and a manner in which to BE SUPER HEROIC:


Day by day is the way they say to live....
One step at a time 
Until the mind's music...
Find's its rhythm and rhyme.....

Pull yourself up from your bootstraps.....
But what if your straps are no longer there...
Worn down from the disillusioned moments...
That often causes one not to care....

Every mirror shows me a reflection....
I often wish not to see...
For it causes me to face my TRUTH....
And my Soul's inner reality....

If I'm meant to be a guide...
A Steward of Remembrance toward other's paths
Then why does it now often seem...
That perhaps in another role I should have been cast....

A mountain stands before me....
One I am reticent to climb....
For I know the pain its crevices will find....
Deep within my Soul's fragile shine.....

But there are ethereal signs...
That this Journey will lead toward salvation..
That give me Hope and Strength....
To stay the treacherous course despite outward temptation....

So I daily forge ahead....progress top of mind....
Although setbacks do befall me.....
I simply pass them by.....
For my heart's goal is to be set free...

At times I am completely amazed...
As I find a trove of treasures along the way....
Gifts sent from Heaven...
That ease my core confusion and curb the constant sway...

The path toward peace and joy...
Still lies far above....which is completely fine
For a winged angel appears to remind me...
The gift toward eternal Glory is NOT a straight line....

It takes more than courage to forge through our Truth...
Thus Faith was created by His Heavenly touch.....
To be used as a staff of pure conviction..
When the burden seems to be just too much...

Silent whispers can be heard all around....
So many spirit guides wishing to aide...
For a CALLING I have yet to fulfill...
The very reason that I was made......

To give up now would be a blow to a Universal plan....
Which is to create and fill this world with LOVE and Light....
So the darkness about to overcome us...
Could not do so without a Heavenly fight....

I write a promise in the rocks as I continue to climb...
That no matter the circumstances that may cause me to frown....
Continuing to fight through the forces of my internal darkness...
Is my Hero's Journey, and my Soul Tribe I will never let down....

by Jeffrey Louis Martinez




BE SUPER HEROIC

BLACK LIVES MATTER

Nerdmaste,

JLM

HERE'S How To GAIN More WISDOM From The BOARD GAME Of Life..!

 TODAY'S INSPIRATIONAL

“MYTHOLOGICAL MAGIC”

“I used to say I lived my life a quarter mile at a time 

Now…I think that’s why we were brothers…

Because you did too!”

“No matter where you are….whether its a quarter mile away, or half way across the world…You will always be with me….and you will always be my brother…….”

~~  Dominic Toretto       (THE FUROUS 7)

 [letter to Stark]  “Tony, I'm glad you're back at the compound. I don't like the idea of you rattling around a mansion by yourself. We all need family. The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine. I've been on my own since I was 18. I never really fit in anywhere, even in the army. My faith's in people, I guess. Individuals. And I'm happy to say that, for the most part, they haven't let me down. Which is why I can't let them down either. Locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't. I know I hurt you, Tony. I guess I thought by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you, but I can see now that I was really sparing myself, and I'm sorry. Hopefully one day you can understand. I wish we agreed on the Accords, I really do. I know you're doing what you believe in, and that's all any of us can do. That's all any of us should... So no matter what, I promise you, if you need us - if you need me - I'll be there.”

[Tony looks at a flip phone Steve sent him]

~~  Steve Rogers AKA Captain America                (CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR)

“ We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”

~~  John Keating           (THE DEAD POETS SOCIETY)


_______________________________________________________

When I was just starting out living through my teenage years, I had a small group of friends that all lived in my community and it was perhaps the first time I understood the importance of having a tribe.  Looking back in retrospect, it's quite amazing how many powerful spiritual lessons were engrained within me during this often awkward and precarious time of life. Events that were perhaps the initial birthing place of my passion for self growth and transformation. Fond memories that have now become stories I still share with myself and others that have lasting life lessons.

Growing up on the East Coast, the winter snow was always a welcomed relief from the daily stress of school.  And since both of my parents were teachers, we were the first to get phoned the night before of school closings the next day.  SNOW DAYS were the ‘Holy Grail’ of childhood blessings and brought with them an unending opportunity for fun and freedom.  Our group was perhaps the first incarnation of TV's current ‘BIG BANG THEORY’.  We were, for the most part, a cadre of nerds who shared our intense passions for video games, movies, mythology, and especially board games.

We were all competitive as hell and took losing relatively tough.  Then again we were still pups in the relative scope of our emotional development.  And on one particular snowy afternoon those many years ago, we all got together for an afternoon of winner takes all MONOPOLY!  Little did I realize then, what a powerful metaphor for life was about to be displayed during that day's battle royal with the dice..........

One friend in our group we referred to as ‘Alex P. Keaton’,  after the character Michael J. Fox perfected on the TV show  ‘FAMILY TIES.’  Like the character Alex, he was obsessed with Wall Street, money, was small in nature, and had a relatively sharp temper.  All games played with him were intense, but he played Monopoly with a fervor that was unmatched by anyone else I had ever met.  He was wickedly smart and he certainly won his fair share of games.  But not on this day!

An hour or so into the game, I found myself on a Vegas worthy lucky streak and started collecting  houses and hotels all around the Monopoly board!  As I looked around the table, I noticed ‘Alex’ was just about out of money.  One more unlucky roll of the dice, causing him to land on one of my stockpiled board spaces, and he was done!  And he knew it.  His brows began to furrow and his lips were parsed.  I handed him the dice which he grabbed from my hands in obvious disgust.  He shook the dice for an unusually long time and then threw them down across the board.  He counted out the steps with his game piece and landed right SMACK in the middle of the Boardwalk space I owned.........

In what seemed like an instant, he grabbed the board game from each side, and flipped it high into the air. Sending pieces of plastic and fake paper money flying all over the room in what felt like perpetually slow motion!  Not to mention ruining the game for the those of us who were still participating. The group sat in awkward silence for what felt like an eternity.  Unfortunately, the game was obviously over and the rest of us began collecting the various game pieces that had been flung in every other direction with ‘Alex's’ display of utter dismay.

Of course we were furious, but at that point in our lives, we were not comfortable with heated confrontations, so not much was said until days later. And looking back, I'm glad I handled the situation in the manner that I did. Because whether we knew it or not at the time, ‘Alex’ had just taught us a Gi-normous life lesson that I still share to this day. Rather than simply playing the game for the joy, laughter, and fun it can provide, he allowed the ILLUSION of the game to become HIS REALITY.

Admittedly, this tremendously powerful metaphor didn't solidify itself for me until many years later. But do you see how we all do this very same thing in our own lives. We allow the ILLUSION of this world to become our REALITY.   Just as ‘Alex’ did!  And when we do, we become disconnected from SPIRIT and the calling we came here to accomplish.  And that's very often when depression, anxiety, loneliness, and separation from SOURCE sits in and stays for a while.  Or unfortunately for some, never leaves.

We live in a Matrix of energy that was designed as a creative space for our souls to experience the Greatest Version of the Grandest Vision we have ever held of ourselves.  So much of what we see and experience is an ILLUSION to give us the very opportunities we desire to feel.  I know it can seem SO completely real at times, and it was set up that way. How else could we have such transcendent experiences unless the GAME we were playing felt so tangibly realistic. I like to believe that the masters on this planet have slowly learned to “tip their toe” in the universal life-force that surrounds us. Just enough to enjoy the game and experience it for what it was meant to be, but never “jumping in” completely, thus allowing the ILLUSION to become their REALITY.

As Eckert Tolle says in ‘A New Earth’, “ All we can perceive, experience, think about, is the surface layer of reality.  Less than the tip of an iceberg.  Underneath the surface appearance, everything is not only connected to everything else, but also with the SOURCE of all life from which it came.”  Essentially we are all ONE.  The illusion is that we are all separate.  But we could not have all the juicy, delectable experiences we desire, if we did not have the illusion of separation.

My intention for you today, is to Re-member this story the next time you feel yourself allowing the ILLUSION of life to become your REALITY.  And even better than that, share this remembrance with others who may have lost their way.   We all do at some point.  That's why, as they say, “It takes a Village!”

BE SUPER HEROIC!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez