Tips For SPIRITUAL Christmas Shopping.........

Black Friday may have come and gone for those of you who decided to participate in the annual ritual of mass hysteria all with the intention of scoring a scorchingly good deal on Holiday gifts for loved ones later next month.  While I do not judge this year's participants, I will admit that I usually sit that day out, usurping the materialistic gifts to concentrate on what type of ‘EXPERIENCES’ I choose to allow into my life this coming Holiday Season.  And don't get me wrong.  I LOVE a wonderfully thought out gift as much as the next, but the older I get, the more I realize that it is in the BUYING OF EXPERIENCES that really keeps the Grinch stay FAR away from my Holiday Heart!  

You see consciousness in the form of ENERGY is the the form of currency in the Universe.  Whenever we pay attention to something with our focused intention, we are actually ‘buying’ that experience!  And most of the time, we don't even know what experiences we are purchasing or putting on SPIRITUAL LAYAWAY.  How different would your daily life experiences be if we spent as much time and energy on what we are truly focusing our attention on as we do in making up our holiday shopping lists?!?  ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES! Can you honestly say you know where the bulk of your daily attention is going.  And if it is NOT where you would like it to BE, what are you doing to change that fact of spiritual intention.  

I have an idea.  For every hour spent on Holiday activities, what would it look like to spend the same amount of time on being mindful and intentful in our thoughts, words, and deeds on what EXPERIENCES we are choosing to buy (Whether they are subconscious or not) by PAYING ATTENTION to things that do not serve us.  

We are constantly in a state of paying for experiences to come into our lives whether we are aware of it or not.  This is why spiritual teachers have always practiced and taught mindfulness as a way of conscious living.  Now we can also change the type of experiences we are paying for IN AN INSTANT!  How you ask?!   I hoped so!!  ;0)

Being present in all of our interactions is one practice that I believe would serve your highest good!  And when I say being present, I am talking about a surrendered form of presentness that usurps the SELF and allows only the OTHER to be seen and heard.  By shining a light on others, we allow them to step into their greatness.  Essentially giving them permission to something that has perhaps been taken away from them through various life imprinting and trauma.  And what a world it would be if we all allowed each other to be the Greatest Version of the Grandest Vision ever held of themselves!  

Compassion is another wonderful form of energetic payment for miraculous gifts and experiences.  In fact, COMPASSION combined with GRATITUDE is the real way to any Spiritual Santa Clause's heart!!  As a form of Re-membrance or for those of you who have not read my post on COMPASSION, here is a small section that will help you in understanding the true power of this GIFT for the ages!  

Passion is God's way of saying ‘Hi!’  And COMPASSION in my belief is the way we spread the Godliness within to ourselves and to each and every person that crosses our path.  For when we come with passion in everything we do, we also learn so many other things.  Jack Kornfield teaches that our Western Culture has produced a society of both loneliness as well as self hatred.  Why?!  Because the first stage of COMPASSION is understanding.  It is learning to LET GO of the stories we have been told and imprints our psychological being.  Every day is a miraculous chance to start over and Re-member who we truly are; which is nothing less than a perfected emanation of Infinite Intelligence and Source energy.  To let go of the shaming, blaming, and judgment that the ‘others’ in our life have needlessly projected onto our own sense of being.  For most of us, this causes years if not DECADES of painful habits and life choices that mimic the projections of our precious past.  It shows up in the choices we make in our friendships and especially our deep intimate relationships.  Basicially replaying our past over and over again trying to desperately heal a past that was NEVER a part of our own sense of reality or own BEINGNESS to begin with.  We make up stories to help make sense of the painful imprinting we received throughout those oh so many years of our life.  

And for you SHOPAHOLICS, the wonderful news is that you can learn to channel these tools to be in a perpetual state of buying the myriad of experiences that will manifest into your life through the manner in which you pay attention and focus your ENERGY on them!!  What I'm trying to say is Christmas be damned, WE ARE ALWAYS SHOPPING!!  Once again, our currency is energy and energy is always and in all ways being radiated out from your Spirit into the world.  And that energy is constantly ‘purchasing‘ what you are focusing on.

So this Holiday Season, what would it look like to focus your energy on Light, Love, Joy, Compassion , and Gratitude not only toward ourselves, but especially toward others.  Because as wonderful as having a trophy of amazing gifts under the tree on Christmas morning may be, having a room radiating with kindness, understanding, and mindfulness toward yourself and others is absolutely PRICELESS!!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

THE NEW AGE NERD MANIFESTO...!!

A New Age Nerd knows we are all Spiritual beings having a Human experience. And that we came into this grand experience with TWO minds. ONE, is called the conscious mind and is indeed sacred. However, the second is called the SUBCONSCIOUS MIND and it is our direct connection back to SPIRIT! It is the shared Universal powerhouse of limitless energy and infinite intelligence. It may be called upon at any time in order for us to literally "Bend Reality" to our very preference!

He acknowledges the true power of his words, and thus chooses them with care, intention, and kindness.

A New Age Nerd strives to "practice what they preach,"  for they know that a spiritual vocabulary without action becomes No Thing more than Spiritual Entertainment.

She has the deep understanding that Energy is finite, so she does not waste hers on things she cannot control.

He knows SEPARATION is an illusion.. and that " WE ARE ALL ONE."

A New Age Nerd does not confuse kindness...  With weakness   EVER!

He understands that every soul has a CALLING..  And makes it his mission to Rock This World on his Superhero's Journey; toward a life filled with LOVE based service to himself and others.

She accepts the ONE thing she has full control over is who she associates with ..  As it will be the greatest determining factor of her happiness and success. So she picks her TRIBE with a WICKED WISDOM.

The opinions of others have little effect on a New Age Nerd, for they know they only have to PROVE things to themselves.

A New Age Nerd understands the difference between Success and SIGNIFICANCE.  So they are always looking to bring more value into the world.

He believes the greatest gift we have been given is the PRESENT. 

So Her favorite motto is "BE HERE NOW."

She is a ‘SOULdier’ for LOVE.  A fierce Connoisseur of Consciousness.  A Ravishing Rock Star of Spirit.  And a Steward of Remembrance.  So she reminds others they are too.

A New Age Nerd understands they may be the only bible/torah/koran that someone will ever read.  Thus they hold each and every Co-creation as uniquely SACRED.

He strives to be worthy of his sufferings.  For his definition of a "Sin" is to suffer without meaning.  

She takes RESPONSIBILITY for her actions.  No complaining, no explaining.

A New Age Nerd commits daily to become ‘The Greatest Version of The Grandest Vision" ever held of themselves.  In this way, they worry not about being better than others, but rather BEING better than they used to be.

She knows surrendering is the highest form of ALLOWANCE.  So she surrenders her Spirit to the Universe often, as not to block the Abundance always waiting for her highest good.

A New Age Nerd has a fervent FAITH that everything and anything other than LOVE, is simply an ILLUSION.

BE HEROIC!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Wishing all New Age Nerds a Wonderful and Joyous Thanksgiving!!   Please Re-member as you gather with friends and family today that WE ARE ALL ONE!! Please be respectful of others beliefs and heartfelt viewpoints as you commune in LOVE with one another.  ONE kind word can have a bigger impact on someone's psyche than you could possibly IMAGINE!!  So instead of arguing over our differences, what would it look like to CELEBRATE our similarities.  Things like compassion, joy, wonder, and the DESIRE that everyone is truly seen as the MAGNIFICENT and Uniquely Magical emanation that they truly are and came here to BE!!  We all have so much to be thankful for, and GRATITUDE is the gateway back to Spirit!  So today, I challenge each and every New Age Nerd to INSPIRE at least one person, by helping them Re-member WHO THEY TRULY ARE!!      



Resistance has made a best friend with my Egoic Self....
A Partnership that threatens my Purpose for Being....
A Fight for the Cosmos thus begins ....
One that ages this body you are seeing....

Relax, slow down and take a deep breathe....
As this clash will not soon be over...
The shards of my Soul must stay in their place....
And any sense of SELF must not be lowered ...

My mind is the referee as this melee begins ...
Offering thoughts that mean nothing at all...
So I listen simply to my Heart....
And the right to Justice that it calls...

Then a silent whisper enters just in time...
That leaves me a message in the middle of a scene...
One that carries with it the Truth of the matter...
And what this battle actually means.....

I realize it has No thing to do with me....
Or the Purpose I came here to deliver.....
But simply learning to believe.....
In the power I have to bring others shivers.....

Not the type from the damp and cold.....
But The ones of a mercurial type.....
To help others out of their slumber....
And Re-member they are NOT here to fight...

But rather.....they've come for the same reason as I...
To shower love over the entire land...
With their gifts and talents in tow..
And with the help of my own loving hands.....


Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

The POWER Of Self COMPASSION..!!

“See this guy here staring back at you?  THAT's the toughest opponent you are ever going to have to face.  I believe that's true in the ring, and I think that's true in life. ”

Rocky Balboa from CREED

A few years ago, while taking some classes toward a leadership coaching certification, I had quite an impactful experience that I still use to help me re-frame my own ‘inner critic’.   Who needs enemies when our own MONKEY MIND insists on taunting us with thoughts of blame, guilt, regret, and self-hatred,  often with a big, heaping side order of worthlessness.  And as that day's class was soon to me show, we are truly all ONE in this experience that causes so much anxiety, depression,  and pain.  Not to mention how it blocks us from the healing LOVE we need to move forward in our lives..................

After our mid-day lunch break, our class of roughly 30 seated students were each given a stack of cards with various short phrases written on the back of each one.  We were instructed to pick the ONE card that best exemplified the way we felt about ourselves most of the time.  You have to remember this was an extrapolation of people who were all on an active path toward self growth, many of us having spent years, if not DECADES, on a quest for the specialized knowledge that would allow us to coach and train others on becoming the ‘greatest version’ of themselves.

The phrases on the cards ran the emotional scale from ‘I Am Love’ to ‘Work in Progress’.  Once we all had our card picked, we were told to stand up, and with its message facing forward, held in front of our chest, start mingling with one another.   One by one, we stood up.  Suddenly, a raucous set of laughs started erupting from one side of the room to the other.  With over 20 different messages that each member in the group was free to choose from, ALL but five of us picked the EXACT SAME CARD.  That card read......   NOT GOOD ENOUGH !!

I will NEVER forget the divine feeling of oneness I felt in that moment.  Oh, I laughed my ass off like the rest, but my soul was shedding tears of joyful connection.  Up until that moment, I had often been afraid to admit the intensity of my own MONKEY MIND.  How controlling, suffocating,  and idea crushing it could be.   But as I looked around that room, and saw nearly everyone holding up that  card, with its illusionary message, all I could see was beings of perfection.  Even if THEY could not see it in themselves.  How could they not see that in themselves?!  Why could I often not see it in myself?!

Since then, I have come to understand that radical self compassion is like most everything else of   great value, a PROCESS.  Our capacity for self compassion is not unlike a muscle.  It must be trained, honed, and cared for with patience and love.  Here are 4 TIPS for practicing self compassion that have made an enormous change in helping me keep my inner critic just the way I like him,  Supah Silent :

1.  Feel your feelings, then let them GO.
When you suppress your feelings, in reality you are quelling a spiritual lesson that is trying to emerge for your highest good.  Your inner critic is going to get on stage and grab the mic(he/she LOVES attention) when something triggers you no mater how much work you've done on yourself. By allowing yourself to fully FEEL the emotions this brings up, you may just find that there is some light being shown on issues where attentive love still needs to be applied.  The key is to make sure you DO NOT make a 'broadway show' out of your feelings.  Nobody wants to buy a ticket to feelings you are holding onto that no longer serve you anymore!

2.   Meditate
When my Monkey Mind is causing me all kinds of chaos, the most powerful tool I know for calming the noise is through meditation.  If you don't currently practice meditation, NOW may be a great time to start.  There are some fantastic programs that are free online (Oprah and Deepak Chopra offer one a couple of times per year) if you don't know where to start.  By simply going within during meditation, you can reconnect with Spirit and re-member that you are a unique emanation of God, perfect and whole in every way.  As you get better at meditative practice, you will begin to carry that FEELING of being whole and worthy out of your meditation, and INTO the rest of your day.  Just be patient with the process, my meditations are STILL a work in progress.  ;0)

3.  Realize that you are NOT your thoughts

The arch enemy of your 'inner critic' just may be the watchful observer.

When those thoughts  of worthlessness and doubt arise, try this little trick.  Close your eyes, and visualize yourself in a room, alone with JUST THE THOUGHTS that are causing you trouble.  See how you are completely SEPARATE from them in the room.  Do not judge the thoughts, or allow yourself to become anxious around them.  You are simply an OBSERVER. It may take some time to achieve this space.  Thats OK.  Simply breathe   ...one ...breath... at a... time.
Once you are in a place of calm, address the thought/thoughts.  
“Thank you for coming.  I appreciate you shedding light on the places I still need work. But now, please GO!  You are NOT a part of me.  And I am NOT a part of you."

You can repeat a mantra that works for you(feel free to experiment until you find something that really resonates) again and again.  Visualize these thoughts slowly evaporating back into the ether from which they came.  You may be laughing, but TRY it!  By seeing yourself as separate from the thoughts through the power of your watchful observer, their grip on your psyche is truly lessened.

4.  Choose your TRIBE carefully
The number one thing I hear from people is how they have no control over their lives.  For the most part, that is true.  We do not live in a vacuum, and many facets of our experiences are completely beyond our control.  However, ONE thing we do have complete control over is also one of the most important aspects in determining our overall joy and success in life.  
That being WHO we choose to let into our lives.  
There has been scientific evidence that proves we become the average of the five people we choose to spend the most time with on a daily basis.  We spend SO much time dealing with our own inner critic, don't ya think it would be a great idea to make sure the people we invite into our TRIBE shower us with inspiration, support, kindness, and growth filled experiences.  So when it comes to picking new TRIBE members in 2016, CHOOSE WISELY!!

I hope this helps you quiet your ‘inner critic’ and ALLOWS IN the healing love and light that is all around you..................

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

The REAL Purpose of DESIRE..!!

During nearly twenty years on my own Hero's Journey toward self realization, the term DESIRE has become a corner stone on which to build the foundational aspects of everything of value in life.  It shows up constantly in most of the books, mentoring programs, and teachings on the path to truly living your Soul's purpose.  But what exactly is it?  Why is it SO important?  And how can we use it to assist and guide us toward living a life that is filled with tantalizing joy and happiness, as well as pure intent?   

One of its most radical proponents is the sizzling spiritual SOULdier of truth Danielle Laporte.  In her tremendously powerful book, ‘The Desire Map’, she says. “knowing how you want to feel is the most important clarity you can have.  Generating those feelings is the most important thing you can do in your life."  So DESIRE is about our feelings.  Makes sense- feelings are the guideposts to the Soul, right?!  But if we based everything on our feelings, at all times, couldn't life become a constant roller coaster of nausea inducing ‘loop de loop's’ and frightening free falls!  And as far as DESIRE goes, do feelings alone encompass the entire story?

The teachings of Abraham, (a compendium of Universal energy channeled by Esther Hicks) spells out in their tomb, ‘The Law of Attraction’,  that manifesting our DESIRES is the reason for our Being.  Essentially, each Soul decides to manifest into the human condition in order to joyfully create their most heartfelt DESIRES.  While most of us can attest to the downright blissful rumination that bubble from our heart and soul when a deep, hard fought Desire is made manifest in our reality, we are also grounded enough to realize the pragmatic challenges we must face in between such moments of heavenly creation.  And does this mean that in the moments when I am NOT in continuous Manifest Mode, that I am doing something wrong.

Thank goodness I finally came across the ancient teachings of the VEDAS.  Consisting of a large series of texts, the VEDAS are the oldest Hindu proclamations on recording that have all been transcribed from Sanskrit.  According to their teachings, the Soul has FOUR distinct DESIRES.

The first is dharma, the DESIRE to become who you were meant to be.  It is that internal guidance system that helps us remember our ultimate destiny here on earth.  In New Age Nerd terms, it is THE HERO'S JOURNEY!

The second is artha, or the DESIRE for the means to accomplish your destiny.  Let's be honest, being more broke than a 'fritter on a fryin' pan' makes it pretty tough to start that business, or quit that job in order to ‘don the cape’ and join the Universal Team of Spiritual Superhero's!

The third DESIRE is kama, the longing for pleasure in any and all forms.  This is where our feelings really come into play.  And, NO, it doesn't mean a spiritual life in alignment with your true purpose should be constantly filled with scratching your hedonistic pleasures whenever you FEEL like it.  

(“Damn, Smithers, and just when things were getting....interesting!”  LOL)  Rather, it is the understanding that our feelings are an internal guidance system that help us navigate our authentic path.  They are one of the most powerful elements in the construction of our true DESIRE.  With a few exceptions, our feelings are what I call the GROUNDED PURPOSE of SPIRIT (GPS) for the Soul!  Got it!  Good!  :0)

The fourth and final DESIRE is moksha.  This is the want of spiritual realization and freedom.  Have you ever felt like you wanted or even needed to disconnect from the world, and get off the grid?!  As if your Soul was begging to forget about everything mundane, and commune with Source to get recharged back into the BLISS from which it came.  This is moksha in action!

The VEDAS teachings further espouse that these FOUR DESIRES are inherent to your soul and absolutely essential to assisting you on the completion of your Hero's Journey.    These teachings have become one of the core foundational aspects of my understanding of how DESIRE can be used to both discover our purpose and help us block out the barrage of distractions we all engage along the way!  

For instance, the teachings declare not all DESIRES should be pursued, and that the majority of the pain and suffering in our lives comes from the attachment we carry toward our DESIRES.  In fact, the VEDAS go as far in explaining that most DESIRES which are NOT in alignment with our purpose, result in frustration, depression, and much of the anxiety on this planet.  

If anything from above resonates with you, I HIGHLY suggest you do yourself a GI-normous favor and get your hands on a copy of ‘The Four Desires’ by Rod Stryker.  This book absolutely changed my life and is a constant companion on the nightstand nearly five years after my first engagement with its enlightened prose.  We tend to engage all four of these DESIRES on a daily basis, and Stryker helps us navigate between them with Grace and Patience.   I also love that it eschews any explanation in terms of the absolute (Right vs. wrong, good vs bad etc.), and leaves plenty of room for the understanding that spiritual principles DO NOT have to be mutually exclusive.   It further fleshes out how to use our DESIRES for our own greatest good, and in the process, not only fulfill our destiny, but bring greater Joy and Happiness into our life in the process!  

DESIRE is NOT just a feeling.  It is a daily process!  And like anything of real value, it takes  dedicated time and effort to master.   When we stop framing the Universe as our own personal wish fulfilling mechanism, and step into the true purpose of Desire- a tool to help us fulfill our destiny- life becomes much more easy to navigate and TEN times more enriching!!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

What EXACTLY Is COMPASSION..?!?

When we find ourselves in the position of having what I call a ‘Break Open’, which is to have been brought to our knees in an act of graceful SURRENDER, the remnants that are left over in the ritual of after effects are filled with nothing less than unadorned LOVE.  In my teaching of the Hero/Heroine's Journey, I believe this to be one of the most transcendent moments in your life.  And a big part of that reason is because of the COMPASSION that this LOVE represents as it comes gushing out of our healing Spirit looking to do good in the world!  Our job is to find a way of Com-ing From Passion(Com-passion) to funnel that fervor of joy, wisdom, and LOVE out to others. 

Passion is God's way of saying ‘Hi!’  And COMPASSION in my belief is the way we spread the Godliness within to ourselves and to each and every person that crosses our path.  For when we come with passion in everything we do, we also learn so many other things.  Jack Kornfield teaches that our Western Culture has produced a society of both loneliness as well as self hatred.  Why?!  Because the first stage of COMPASSION is understanding.  It is learning to LET GO of the stories we have been told and imprints our psychological being.  Every day is a miraculous chance to start over and Re-member who we truly are; which is nothing less than a perfected emanation of Infinite Intelligence and Source energy.  To let go of the shaming, blaming, and judgment that the ‘others’ in our life have needlessly projected onto our own sense of being.  For most of us, this causes years if not DECADES of painful habits and life choices that mimic the projections of our precious past.  It shows up in the choices we make in our friendships and especially our deep intimate relationships.  Basicially replaying our past over and over again trying to desperately heal a past that was NEVER a part of our own sense of reality or own BEINGNESS to begin with.  We make up stories to help make sense of the painful imprinting we received throughout those oh so many years of our life.  

The second part of COMPASSION is tearful healing through acceptance.  It is allowing our tears to flow freely as a way of bathing our pain from our bodies.  We may NEVER completely heal all of the transgressions from days gone by, but we can certainly learn to allow them to live within us in a much more tranquil and peaceful manner.  Acceptance can be a tricky traitor.  We can fool ourselves into thinking we have truly moved into a state of acceptance in our stories of who we believed ourselves to be, when we are actually just creating a new story that frees us from truly facing our pain.  Examples would be creating a reframing that it is our fault that created our painful past and making excuses for others that free THEM from their responsibility in the co-creations of your experiences together, but NOT YOU.

To truly accept, we must create a space of mindfulness that encompasses recognition, investigation and forgiveness and acknowledgement.  And this is when we live in a state of pure presentness with ourselves and others.  We must acknowledge things for what they TRULY ARE, and not what others tell us to accept them to be.  Through investigation, we learn to free ourselves of the stories that others have been telling us about ourselves, so we can be in allowance of healing these false and limiting beliefs for ourselves in a process of FORGIVENESS.  First and foremost we must for-give ourselves before we can for-give others.  And for me, this process of FOR-GIVENESS is much different than what is taught in most organized religions.  I believe Jesus the Christ's idea of for-giving had nothing to do with blame.  It was not an idea about pardoning someone for a transgression ‘done unto us.’  It is transcending this paradigm into the understanding that no transgression ever occurred.    What transpired is that the other has temporarily forgotten who they are and it is our opportunity for-giving them back to themselves.  To hold a space for them of the miraculous being they truly are until they re-member this for themselves.  How does that difference in meaning FEEL to you?!?

Once we are TRULY past the point of acceptance in the deep resonance of our Spirit, the next step is GRATITUDE.  It is the ability to now see the gifts and opportunities that our pain and suffering actually provided us.  Now that the storm has passed (at least THIS storm) we can walk calm and mindfully along the shoreline and see the gifts that have been left behind and washed up along the sand by Spirit.   These gifts can then be used for the greatest quality that COMPASSION offers us.  Which is the ability to see others exactly as we see ourselves.  With empathy and connection.  Sans any sense of separation.  WE ARE ALL ONE becomes our calling card and motto always and in all ways!!

Compassion allows us to remember not only who it is that we truly are, but others as well.  It transcends any sense of separation and creates acts of fully integrated inclusion of all races and genders into ONE BODY OF LOVE!!

But buyer beware!!  Some teachings believe that COMPASSION is a mind taught to free others of their pain and suffering.  I believe this is in no way, shape, or form what the highest version of COMPASSION can or should be.  As an example, if we try and help a butterfly looking to free itself from its cocoon, that beautiful being will die.  Why?   Because it needs to struggle and use its strength to spread the fluid through its wings that is needed in order for it to fly.  Without this struggle, that butterfly will cease to BE.  In the same way, we must often struggle through our own pain and sufferings in order to conjure the wisdom, courage, and understanding that comes from walking into the darkness of our fear and pain!  So please DO NOT confuse the meaning of compassion with trying to eliminate the process of someone else's process of suffering.  You are actually doing them an injustice by doing so.  Instead, it is my suggestion to use your compassion to assist someone in the understanding of the reason they are going through their dark night of the soul.  So that they never feel as though they must traverse this valley alone. And that there indeed will be someone waiting for them with loving arms on the other side of the birthing process they are going through!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

NEVER Give Up On LOVE..!!!

Although ‘The Big Bang Theory’ on CBS may have helped in the evolution of giving NERDS around the world a new distinction, there have been many other incarnations of such bonded friendships that could give their crew a real run for their geek cache.  In fact, I had such a group of Awkward Heroes growing up in a suburb outside of Washington, DC.  Built from a composite of various brainiacs,  gregarious geeks, and unlucky in love lotharios, what we lacked on the ‘popularity scale’, we certainly made up for with a passionate ingenuity!!

One trait that perhaps best exemplified the glue that kept us close for most of our formative years, was our unified stand on LOVE.  We cherished it.  Desired it and fiercely defended its honor at all costs.  Poems, love letters, songs.... we did them ALL!  Nothing gave us more pleasure than conjuring the most creative ways to express our affections in the attempt to win over the hearts of the glorious gals that crossed our paths.

In fact, one particular young lady, who had caught my complete adoration, became the benchmark for the lengths to which we would extend ourselves.  Her 18th Birthday was just around the corner and I was doggedly intent on making it one she would never forget.  So after an exhaustive trip to the mall for materials, I gathered our LOVE POSSE and we stayed up most of the night creating an 18 foot ‘Happy Birthday’ banner in our college dorm's parking lot.  These were obviously more innocent times; where five guys with spray paint cans and masks after midnight caused NO concern for further investigation. LOL  After several hours of drawing and painting, when we finally finished our mission it was nearly dawn.  And that's when the real work began.......

I was gracious enough to let most of the guys get to bed, sans one.  He had the stupendous task of convening with me a little later that morning at the High School that this lucky lass attended.  In true Mission Impossible style, I told him we had exactly ONE hour to climb to the top of the edifice guarding the building's main entrance to erect my VISION of overlaying this banner and its ‘Ode to LOVE’, plus 18 pink balloons, completely covering the school's visible namesake in the process.  That way, when all the busses pulled into the parking lot later that morning, my act of care and adoration could be seen by her and the entire school.  And ya know what, we somehow pulled it off.  Totally ‘Say Anything’ style!!

My piece de la resistance.  And........she LOVED IT!! Not only that, but I ended up escorting her to the school's end of year prom.  An amazing experience given I never attended my own! The school put out a beacon to find the culprit, but it did its job and I was never caught.  Years later, she sent me a picture of the banner, and told me it is still one of her greatest treasures!

Unfortunately, not all of my other attempts, and those of our group, were met with the same enthusiasm in the following years.  But we didn't give up.  Love never does.

There is a potent scene in the film Adaptation staring Nicolas Cage that completely embodied the ESSENCE of our unabashedly passionate stand on Love's elixir and its importance in our experience:

Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh. 

Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her. 

Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you. 

Donald Kaufman: I remember that. 

Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy. 

Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them. 

Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy? 

Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want. 

Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic. 

Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.

Let THAT sink in for a moment.  You are what you love, NOT what loves you.  PREACH!

Our world is in such need of Truth Seekers, Bringers of the Light, and convictions of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.  So even if you feel your wings are broken, or if your heart has been ripped apart by betrayal and loss, please NEVER give up on extending yourself toward others.  Honesty, kindness, respect.  There is simply not enough.  And always remember, what you are currently seeking is also seeking you!  

Eventually, we will prevail NOT in spite of our pain, failures, and struggles, but BECAUSE of the strength and guidance we gained from those experiences.   As Neale Donald Walsh heard from God's silent whisper, “Know, that I send you nothing but ANGELS.”

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez