Back in the mid 1980's, I worked for a video store my last two years of high school-Yes I am in THAT age range...lol Every weekend was spent consuming all the newest films that were being released every Thursday evening at our particular store. I would dream of one day being on the ‘big screen’ and having a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. But as a dear friend once informed me, fame and fortune IS NOT A PROFESSION!! LOL
So I took the route most traveled and studied hard, got into a great college and started a “stable” career in sports broadcasting. Hey, it wasn't Hollywood but it was as close as I could get from the comfy confines of Northern Virginia. Yet every night I would drive home with a solemn emptiness in my heart. The dream of moving to Hollywood still tempted my heart and soul oh so badly. And no matter how much I tried, there was just no thing that could quell that thirst.
In the first few entries of The New Age Nerd I have fleshed out the story of how I FINALLY ended up in LA LA land, so I will save you the intricacies here. Needless to say, it appeared my dreams were coming true! I remember the first time I drove down Sunset Blvd, blaring the radio and singing the Chumbawamba 's “I Get Knocked Down.” This was living the dream I thought at the time. It was a dream alright, but after a few years I realized it wasn't a dream MEANT FOR ME! You see, my desperate desire to be famous was pure EGO! I didn't feel whole just as I was and I thought that being anointed by the Hollywood Movie Gods would fill my heart with a feeling of worth and value. When in reality, I already had that worth and value in a manner greater than I could ever have possibly imagined just by BEING...well....ME!! Just as you have the same worth in you.....In fact there is absolutely nothing about you that isn't already pure perfection. You may have been conditioned to believe otherwise by friends or family, but that is THEIR story NOT yours.
After a few years of auditioning for commercials and small parts on tv shows and movies, I decided that this DREAM wasn't all it was cracked up to be. In fact, it was downright depressing. Walking into a room and seeing 100 other guys who look very much like you, but taller, and more attractive; it started to feel like I was selling my soul for something that was just a fleeting feeling.
But I had a Ginormous problem on my hands. If the dream of being an actor was not a dream meant for me, than what was my CALLING. And so I started to pray to Spirit that it would show me the way. I asked for signs from the Universe to help guide my path. And ya know what!? I started getting these signs and magical synchronicities like a waterfall of wisdom. Everywhere I turned were sometimes subtle and sometimes Gi-normous signs that all my life experiences up to that point were leading me to be a teacher and coach to others.
Now don't get me wrong.. There were OH SO MANY TIMES when I doubted the whispers from Spirit and walked in another direction. And all that showed up was pure CHAOS. NO FUN!! Yet when I followed the path that the Universe was showing me, magic showed up! It wasn't always easy, because as they say, nothing in life worth anything is!
So what about you?! Are you following a dream that isn't really meant for you? Do you experience pain, discord and discomfort when you try and take steps in the direction of this dream. Then chances are it is not the path of your true CALLING! And that is OK. More than OK. It means that you can stop wasting time on something that isn't your true purpose and instead concentrate on your own unique Hero's Journey!
Believe me, the Universe ALWAYS has your back. If something is truly meant for you, you will KNOW it. You won't have to whine, cajole, and beg for what is rightly yours. And that is a magical Journey where all the gifts and amazing talents you brought here to Earth can be shined and shared with us all!
SUPERHEROES IN TRAINING TAKEAWAYS
A life filled with pure sensationalism has slowly taken a gargantuan grasp upon so many of the "mind's eye" within our collective consciousness. And desiring to have a life filled with abundance is our very birthright! But a life built solely upon materialistic desires is a path that slowly pulls us away from our individual CALLING's toward a never-ending search for external, short lived accoutrements that will NEVER fill the blank hole you may feel within your heart and soul. For THAT hole can only be eternally filled when we are brave enough to eschew short term blasts of bliss for the long term, joy filled happiness that comes when we decide to commit our lives to our individual soul filled CALLINGS.
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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