I want to shed some light on the type of philosophy that the New Age Nerd adheres to with regard to all self actualization work- GROUNDED SPIRITUALITY. Through the daily practice of grounded spirituality, I have become much more attuned to the nuances of being both Here and There. And by that, I mean being connected to SPIRIT as often as possible, yet still allowing for the resonation of earthly illusions in my experience. I always share with my coaching clients the following: Allow yourSELF to "dip" your toes in the illusionary pond of EGO/SEPARATION. Just enough to deeply feel the astonishment and awe that is the true purpose of all forms of "Separation." For instance, you can only experience the fanfrickintastic emotion of making someone LAUGH, if there is "The Other" who is NOT laughing! We get ourSELVES into trouble when we actually "DIVE" into this illusionary pond. For then, IT/EGO/SEPARATION becomes our reality. And then we must try and 'find our way back home.' Yikes!
And that is why we are all here, right?! To slay the proverbial ‘dragons’ along our path toward finding the "Holy Grail" of our Hero's/Heroine's Journey! Kinda tough to do that when we refuse to acknowledge that ‘dragons’ even exist. LOL Perhaps John Lennon said it best, "I believe in everything until its disproved. So I believe in fairies..The myths..Dragons. It ALL exists, even if only in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the HERE and NOW!" Amen and mic drop by one of the most connected Spirits to ever grace our planet!
During my life, I have attended numerous churches of various denominations. You name it, chances are I have investigated whether it was for me. I have studied at a plethora of organizations from the East Coast to the West. All searching for something that made sense, resonated deeply within my heart and soul, and that when put into practice, worked on a consistent basis. In doing so, I think I was trying to create an "Energetic Paradigm" that personified my inner knowingness. And guess what? During this journey I found out I wasn't the only who had come up with the term "Grounded Spirituality." There are several I am quite sure. In fact, in a book I absolutely adore and highly suggest anyone of our ilk read, called Soulshaping by Jeff Brown, he writes, “...my philosophy of grounded spirituality started to concretize. I call it Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground. It is the idea that our ascension to heightened consciousness can ONLY be sustained it if is an embodied unfolding from the the ground up.” What a terrific definition.
I believe we are meant to courageously engage it ALL!! Every juicy emotion, challenge, fear. All the pain, struggle and strife! "WE," created all these bounties of blessings for purposes of expanding our own level of consciousness. For instance, "Pain is The Perfect Professor!" The wisest of us never resist it. NO! We let it in and allow it to stay until it has taught us the gift it came to share! We are all HEROES and are built for pain. As we are victim-LESS vessels for abundance in all its forms. Laughter, joy, compassion, wisdom, patience, understanding, and especially LOVE!!!
In his terrific tome, Soulshaping, Mr.Brown goes on to give more details of his journey and how he had a great lesson about spirituality from one of his mentors, the wonderful teacher Ram Dass. After years of neglecting his body on his spiritual journey, he suffered a horrible stroke. Pre-stroke, he preached that ‘we are not our body’. A very common pronouncement in the realm of spiritualists. His post-stroke experience, which he called FIERCE GRACE, shattered that notion. This self named -stroke of good luck- grounded him as he later stated, “I came to appreciate, that as wonderful it is as a practice, ‘I am not of this body’ is only half the truth. The stroke brought me squarely in touch with the fact that, although I am certainly more than my body, I also am this body.” Boy can I relate to that! During my time with a colostomy bag, cleaning my own intestine several times a day, if anyone had told me, ‘You are not your body’, I would've flung poop at them like a chimp at the zoo! I'm KIDDING....kinda! ;0)
So here are some of the basic tenets of how Grounded Spirituality has come to serve me and many other truth seekers I know. But please always remember, that as the book A Course in Miracles states, “There are many paths back to God.”
1- Feel Your FEELINGS and Emotions
When I first started to passionately engage this world of self actualization, it seemed as though there was this taboo like energy towards many common emotions; such as anger, and sadness. Some of the practices I was learning about started feeling robotic in their teachings. Not to mention unrealistic in trying to sustain a Zen like stature 100% of the time. I started to feel guilty to express or admit when profound vibrations of any emotion outside of LOVE would bubble up inside me. Worse still, I began to try and force others through their times of troubles by reframing, or spouting a newly learned spiritual epithet. There is a funny story behind what got me to finally change my "ways of wisdom."
There is a wonderful place called AGAPE in Los Angeles, which was attended by me and most of my like minded "Super Friends" every Sunday for years. Agape in Greek translates into unconditional love; and it is a true non-denominational "Sanctuary of Spirit" for those of us on this path back toward SELF. During a weekend trip to Napa Valley, one of the friends in our group was going through the initial stages of divorce, and definitely having a boat sized explosion of various emotions. (Thank God for wine! lol) Rather than allowing her to truly feel her grief, I started in with a reframing soliloquy that was sternly met with, “I swear to God, Jeff, don't you dare try and F&ckin Agape me right now." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Although that line became a long lasting re-membrance in our group about giving each other the respect and dignity of our own emotional process, it also taught me a profound lesson. I started to acknowledge the power of our feelings, and that NOT being in ALLOWANCE of them is doing yourSELF and others a great disservice. An insult to the GOD MIND!
And ya know what?! When I started allowing myself to fully enter into my own emotions, for a given period of time, I usually came out the other side with a new perspective, or plan for moving forward. I began to understand that feelings are one of the most powerful tools we have to assist us in navigating our unique path. They are indeed the fuel that revs up our energetic offerings to the Universe. Think of your emotions as - Energy in Action- always! They are truly the "Guide Posts Back To The Soul." And a crucial part of our manifesting prowess. So rather than "Apape'ing" myself or others, now I remember that repressed emotions are actually unrealized spiritual lessons. Just DO NOT make a Broadway Show out of them. Cause nobody wants to buy a ticket to an event that has outstayed its welcome!
2-Honor Your Body
Yes, we all know that this body is temporal. It is ours for a finite time. But it is also a precious gift. That's why it is called the Body Temple. It is sacred in that it houses our SOUL/SPIRIT while we are here. As the book God I Am declares, “There were billions of other Souls around the Universe vying for the ‘ticket to ride’ that was given to you!” That's right, YOU are that Unique and Special. Everyone here already won the lottery! So while you are here, be grounded enough to care for the body which brought ya!
3- Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously
By this, more than anything else, I mean learn to laugh at yourself. This field is filled with people who take themselves so seriously. Lighten up! We all make miscues, are infallible, and poop in our pants. (Or is that just me ?! lol) I have found that you will actually relate to more people with your story and message, when you can learn to laugh at yourself. In fact, it is a proven fact that laughter has cured more illness than all the medication this planet has ever produced! Plus, vulnerability is sexy as hell!
4- ACTION is Always Necessary
When The Secret first came on the scene with its teachings of "The Law of Attraction," there was this huge -Wishful Thinking- movement in the self realization world. People actually started believing that they could simply sit on the sofa and think about money, and that checks would suddenly start appearing in their mailbox. I believe it truly started doing damage to the real understanding of the Law of Attraction (The Law of Attraction is but one of several Universal principals by the way) and in my experience, caused a ton of frustration and disillusioned spirits in our community.
Don't get me wrong, I am a BIG believer in the power of Universal Energy. As Yoda says, “It's an energy field that is created by all living things. Life creates it, makes it grow. It surrounds us, binds us.” And it is ALL powerful. BUT, in this dense realm, it MUST be combined with ACTION in order to work. And unfortunately, there is not enough re-membrance of the importance of taking daily actionable steps toward our goals. You can think all day and night to align your energy fields with your desires until the cows come home; but if they are not backed by daily actionable steps toward your plan/goal/path, the ONLY person you will be making rich is your therapist. Trust me!
For more pragmatic advice about an enlightened manner in which to weave "The Law of Attraction," I highly suggest reading Beyond The Secret, by Dr. Lisa Love. She has such a grounded way of explaining the Law's principles. For instance, she suggests one use it to try and attract the qualities for keeping and using money responsibly, rather than just acquiring money in the first place. Although I do not believe in absolutes. I KNOW we can DO BOTH!! Holla! Just like the Universe, we have absolutely NO LIMITS or boundaries whatsoever. The sky is not the limit. It's simply the beginning of your true super powers!!
5- Stop with The Shame Game
This is perhaps the "secret sauce" toward living from the space of your Super Heroic Higher Self! First and foremost, let me remind you of a very profound spiritual principle that is often a challenge to understand and accept. Yet it is crucial to do so! That being, YOU CANNOT MAKE A MISTAKE. That's right, it's Universal Law. Now before your inner monologue starts to go all manic trying to get your head wrapped around this concept, let me offer some more tangible context to this principle. We make decisions in the moment based on what we BELIEVE to be the best choice given the combination of our options at the time and our individual needs and thoughts surrounding our current circumstances. Combined with our level of consciousness at that "point in our NOW!" That DOES NOT mean that our actions don't sometimes cause certain consequences and painful experiences in our lives and the lives that our actions/thoughts/deeds affect. I know this is a very difficult Universal law to grasp, especially given the horrendous actions that we have been forced to witness in the past few years, from Columbine to Orlando. And I am in NO WAY condoning those acts of brutal violence and unconsciousness. And these are EXTREME cases of course, but they inevitably come up when this concept is introduced to any individual or group. The point I am trying to clarify is there are a plethora of internal, external, societal, and familial beliefs and patterns that inform the decisions we make at any given time. This is VERY IMPORTANT to Re-member. Bottom line, we do the very best we can in the moment in time we make any decision. I often share with my clients to always see "The Other," through the lens of your Inner Innocence. (I explain in great detail how to do this in the post of the same name. Check it out!)
Guilt you see, is the feeling of remorse or regret that contradicts our own personal values. And guilt can actually be used in a myriad of constructive manners to help us change some of our more disempowering patterns or belief systems that no longer serve our highest good. It's a marvelous tool to use in conjunction with a DO OVER(I wrote a post about DO OVERS a few weeks ago that you can refer back to if you like!) to make more informed, mature and healthy actions!
Shame on the other hand is the "The Ego's Mistress!" Just a destructive emotion and a feeling that can slowly eat away at your core sense of SELF. “Beast be gone, I say!!” I love Bene Brown's explanation of this parasitic emotional virus and its cohort. “Based on my research and the research of other shame researchers, I believe that there is a profound difference between shame and guilt. I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful – it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort. I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.
I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous.” BRILLIANT!
I like to say that GUILT is feeling bad about that which we have said or done, and SHAME is the illusionary belief that WE ARE THAT WHICH WE HAVE DONE. It causes us to mistakenly believe that we ourselves are not worthy, unlovable, and there is something wrong with us. YUCK! Do you see the Gi-normous difference between the two?! And since we now understand that we cannot make a mistake, there is no reason for us to BELIEVE that WE ARE that which we have done or said. We live in such a SHAME filled society, that along with loneliness is one of the great destructive epidemics facing our collective consciousness. And this habit of SHAMING ourSELVES and others has got to stop!!
I ask all New Age Nerds to do yourSELVES and all others a favor starting right NOW! Be kind and compassionate to ALL! Help those around you suffering from the malady of SHAME to Re-member to forgive themSELVES. And by "forgive," I mean the process that is for-giving you and others back to your Super Heroic Higher Self! It's perfectly OK to transcend your SHAME into guilt for learning and growth purposes, so long as you do not forget that you are NOT that which you did or said. That type of thinking causes more depression, personal disconnection, anxiety and self hatred than all the combined miscued diets and relationships in the world!
Please Re-member, you are a perfect and unique emanation of SPIRIT. Here to spread your profound and one of a kind set of super powers with the world. And there is NO THING you can do to change that! And if that doesn't give you cause for relief than I don't know much that will!! :0)
I hope this gave you a richer understanding of GROUNDED SPIRITUALITY and how it can be used to empower and guide you on your own Hero's/Heroine's Journey!BE SUPER HEROIC!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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