Tomorrow is my Dad's Birthday! He would have been 71 years young. He passed away from brain cancer back in December of 2013. The following is my tribute to a man that personified the very meaning of being a HERO!! I believe Birthday's should be celebrated for more than just one day. Because every Spirit's incarnation into this dense realm is a time of joyous Awe and Astonishment throughout the Galaxy.............................
Some believe that angels are ordinary souls who come into your life to help you believe in MIRACLES once again. If this sentiment bares any truth, than I met my first ANGEL when I was a young lad of just 3 years of age. My birth father had abandoned our family while we were living out in California, leaving my mom with two small children, little use of her right arm from a horrendous car accident, and absolutely no money. But as Napoleon Hill always said, “Within every adversity, every failure, and every heartache there lies within it a seed of an equal or greater opportunity.”
Opportunity comes in many forms. And often NOT wrapped in the way we would have ever imagined them to be. Such was the case with Roger Lee Poston! I first met this slice of Heaven when my mom moved my sister and I from California to Washington DC shortly after my birth father left our tribe. He was a young man of 25 and was friends with my mom's sister, as they were both teachers just starting out on their career Journeys. Although we were in many ways an unlikely dynamic duo, it was absolutely ‘Friends at First Sight.’ He was a good ole' country boy from the pan handle of Virginia; think “The Beverly Hillbillies” sans the ‘Beverly’ part. He had thick, curly hair and despite his very best efforts, a dialect that was laced with the Southern twang garnered from growing up in a little town called Saltville; known as the ‘salt capital’ of the Confederacy during the Civil War. His face was quite pale; in fact I always teased him that he had three colors: white, red, and redder! LOL Pop was short and stocky with forearms and calves that rivaled those of Popeye.
His aesthetic contrasted greatly with mine. I was super skinny with straight, jet black hair and olive skin. Leaner than a "fritter on a fryin' pan." I was also painfully shy and introverted. (hard for anyone who knows me now to contemplate) Due to the harsh traumas from early childhood TRUST was an emotion that felt foreign to my sensibility. I had been surrounded and raised by women until this extraordinary man appeared in my life. Suddenly, I was being introduced into the world of ‘guy stuff’ on a daily basis. From comic books and 7-11 slurpees, to movies and batting cages, putt-putt golf and Spiderman early morning cartoons. The world suddenly exploded into a cacophony of glorious geekdom!
And it wasn't just me; as he showered my sister, mother, and the rest of the Lapham (my mom's maiden name) clan with the same sense of love and reverence. So when my mom set my sister and I down to let us know he had asked her to marry him, for the first time in my young life, my heart felt a sense of PEACE, and security. I finally felt......... SAFE!
I still remember the very first time I was able to garner the courage to call him DAD. He was getting ready for work, and I paced back and forth just outside his bedroom door. Practicing all the while, the manner in which I was going to approach him about it. I placed my ear up to the door and could hear him just about to emerge into our downstairs rec-room. My palms were sweaty and my heart was literally pounding out from my chest. Until, the door opened and as he walked out of the bedroom, I tentatively stepped in front of him and looked him square in the eye.
“I have a question for you,” I said in a hushed voice. It took all the intestinal fortitude I could muster, my bottom lip quivering just a bit, before finally garnering the courage to ask “Is it OK if I call you Dad?”
He stayed silent for a few precious moments which seemed like an eternity. He placed his right hand on my shoulder and said “Jeff, I have been waiting for you to ask me that for several years. And there is nothing in this world that would make me happier!” He then pulled me in for one of his well known "bear hugs" and then he started to cry. Soon thereafter, tears started flowing from my own relieved core.
But it is what he said next, that has been permanently imprinted into my reverence and Re-membrance of him. “Jeff, just promise me one thing,” he said. “Although I will ALWAYS consider you to be my son, if the day comes where you choose to try and meet Danny (my birthfather) I will always support you. He was part of the process that brought you to me, and for that I will always hold a space of GRATITUDE for Danny in my heart. And I will until the day I die.” Now it's one thing to utter such good intentions, but my Dad did something I consider to be one of the most powerful testaments toward unconditional LOVE I have EVER received. Despite many of the ugly acts that Danny brought about us in the years that followed, Dad NEVER once spoke even ONE word of judgement or ill-will towards him. I knew it was out of respect and still ponder in a complete vibration of AWE whenever I think about this act of unfathomable reverence for a man who caused my family so much pain.
I contribute SO MUCH of who I AM to this man of undeniable STRENGTH and authenticity. He taught me what it means to live life as a Gentle Man. Here is just a sampling of his teachings to me:
~~ Never be afraid of your emotions Jeff. One of the greatest signs of inner strength and courage is to never be afraid to cry. In fact, I think as a whole, we shed more tears at the movies to fill an olympic sized swimming pool!
~~Women are the greatest gift to this world. And should be treated as such. If I ever find out you have mistreated a young lady, I will ‘kick you through the goalposts of life.’ If you want to find out what that looks like, test me! lol
~~ Don't EVER let anyone confuse your kindness for weakness. They are NOT the same thing. Buyer beware!
Looking back, my Dad was the very first Superhero I ever met. Not only did he work two, sometimes three jobs to put food on the table, but HE NEVER CALLED IN SICK IN 40 YEARS. He considered his teaching occupation as "JOYOUS PLAYING!" Not working. I never ONCE heard him complain, even when I could see the toll of working 70 hour work weeks for over 30 years wearing him down to the bone. He was a true warrior who lived a life that was completely personified by hard work and being of SERVICE always and in all ways.
This may be hard to believe, but I never saw him buy ANYTHING for himself. He was much more concerned with making sure his students had anything they needed. Always quick to think of others during any trip to the mall. “Hell fire Jeff. The only thing I truly need is the love of your mother, you and Sandy,” (my sister) was his super heroic catchphrase!
Always a man of his word, he never let me down ONE time during our 40 year relationship. And he didn't even need a "Batsignal." His Spidey-sense was always set to surprise and service. Back in 1997, when I spent almost a year in the hospital battling Crohn's disease, he came for a visit EVERY SINGLE DAY. All while working two jobs. And I mean it; Dad never skipped one day, always sneaking in a tasty treat, a comic book or one of my favorite films.
So in 2013, when he was diagnosed with a rare and devastating form of cancer, I had no problem leaving my job and moving into my parent's basement to help with the massive amount of daily care he required. Although he fought the dis-ease so valiantly, the cancer eventually spread to his brain. And he passed away in December of that same year.
I was fortunate enough to be alongside his bed while he passed away. In fact, my mom, sister, aunt Rena, and my girlfriend at the time were all there holding vigil over him. The manner in which he transitioned was as close to a MIRACLE as I have ever witnessed. With only the use of one eye, he was truly able to connect to everyone there. He lovingly gazed at each of us as we said our individual goodbyes. But when he got to my side of the bed, his one eye intently glaring into mine without blinking, I felt ..... HEAVEN itself. "Heaven on Earth!" His soul was slowly leaving its body temple, while a precious piece remained so we could say goodbye. While I leaned in close to him, thanking him for all the LOVE, support, and guidance he poured upon me, something magical happened. I received a quick glimpse of a future period of NOW. Without saying a word, he was communicating with me in a manner far more clear than using any type of vernacular. The best way I can explain it is to think of a portal opening up. It contained images of what my life was to become. And the message was crystal clear. It was time for me to start committing to my own PURPOSE and beginning the next stage of my Hero's Journey. I felt a sense of peace and KNOWINGNESS in that moment of what I needed to do.
Dad took three, slow, deep breathes, and then transitioned back into the LOVE of BLISS. And although I was understandably sad, he had, in those final moments, given me the greatest gift of all! KNOWINGNESS. It was time for me to use my pain and suffering to become a Wounded Healer. And for once, I wasn't afraid to take that leap. My dad showed me a glimpse of the support behind the ‘Curtain of Oz.’ Once taking the smallest sip from SOURCE energy that was available to me in my dad's final breathes, I just KNEW the complete shift I was being asked to take in my life!
So today I honor you Dad. I MISS you more than you can imagine. And know you hear my daily prayers of awe filled reverence and grace filled LOVE! And I have the KNOWINGNESS that so much of the amazing miracles and daily synchronicities that now shower my earthly essence are orchestrated by you!
BE HEROIC!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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