I have a dear friend who has at times been somewhat challenged by my slavish passion and perpetual use of using the Hero's Journey as a framing device for life. He and I even had a little tiff over it several moths ago. He told me that he felt emotionally challenged whenever I told him he was a HERO. In fact to me, he is more like a Super Hero! After caring for two sick parents and watching them both pass away from their maladies early in my friend's life, he actually decided to use his pain, and suffering and channel it into becoming a doctor. And this was when he was almost 30!! Given his age and undergrad grades that were less than stellar, he had to overcome a myriad of challenges just to be accepted into any medical school. Not to mention that during this entire process, he got married and had two children with no immediate familial support.... Even though this is truly just a SNIPPET of all my friend had to overcome during his Journey toward becoming a husband, father, and doctor he can now look back on his past accomplishments and those yet to come with true PRIDE!!
Yet, my friend has had emotional discord with thinking of himself as a Hero on a Journey. In fact, it actually brings him to a place of jarring unrest to do so! He thinks of Hero's as individuals like police officer's and fireman. His paradigm of what it means to be a Hero is layered with the idea of men and women who carry out the derring do acts that most of us would be too afraid or unwilling to perform if put to the test.
One weekend afternoon he really got upset when I told him that he was one of my personal Heroes and that I felt like the life Journey he had been on was truly remarkable and a magnificent verse added to the collective STORY OF US! I was somewhat taken aback by his reaction. He told me that it was terribly difficult for him to see himself in this type of light. He did not feel completely worthy of being thought of as a Hero and told me every time I engaged him with the Hero moniker it plain out made him feel uncomfortable inside. And at first, I will admit that My EGO took over for a while as I decided to try and BE RIGHT rather than BE LOVING! A practice I try to avoid at all costs, but obviously still have not perfected. I began to hastily explain to him that all I was trying to do was to acknowledge him and his life's accomplishments.
Thankfully, right before our conversation had a chance to escalate into something truly caustic, it FINALLY hit me!! The real issue at hand was that his own EGO was taking charge and trying to keep him playing small as it tends to do with most of us! And because I had felt truly hurt when he deflected the Hero's praise I was sending his way, my EGO jumped into the ring and clouded my vision. And blessed be that I was able to shift my anger back toward love and realize that he didn't understand the true essence of The Hero's Journey. I don't believe his EGO was allowing it because it feeds off of Fear and us feeling LESS THAN WE TRULY ARE! And everything started to make complete and total sense.
And so in that moment, I asked him if I could give him a better understanding of what The Hero's Journey is about at its pure core and essence to see if that might help him come to a new sense of enlightenment regarding its meaning and paradigm perspective. He graciously agreed and we spent the next part of our conversation with me fleshing out the fact that not ALL Hero's are police officers, teachers, soldiers, and firemen. Not to say that individuals such as these should not be often acknowledged for what they do on a daily basis.
What I did help him understand is that being a Hero within the construct of The Hero's Journey is having the COURAGE to answer the calling of your Soul's mission on Earth. And then having the FORTITUDE to take the actual action steps to follow this CALLING even if it means cutting through fear, trials, and tribulations of all forces, shapes, and sizes! And then have the humility to bring back all the growth, wisdom, strength, and consciousness gained during this Journey to share it with your TRIBE!! THAT IS WHAT BEING A HERO IS ALL ABOUT!!
And ya know what, after our discussion, my friend had a much more insightful understanding of The Hero's Journey and why I often referred to him as a HERO!! Just as everything in life is a process, my friend now refers to himself as THE RELUCTANT HERO! And I think that's a beautiful start toward full ACCEPTANCE of the hero moniker!
AFTER ALL, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US IS A HERO...........!!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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