YES MAN
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Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of having the persistent COURAGE to take a path toward Self Realization is the cacophony of times you may have to ‘Fall off The Horse’ of your HEART as a natural part of the transformational process. And has anyone reading actually ever fallen off of a real horse. I have and let me tell ya, my tushie still smarts from the thought of it!! NO FUN!! It hurts like hell and is ALMOST equally embarrassing. Luckily for me, my high jinx while horsin' around were way before cell phones were in everyone's pockets, just waiting to capture such precious memories!! LOL So you will just have to use your imaginations.............
I use this metaphor as a way of introducing you to a very common phenomenon that invariably occurs as soon as you make a clear and conscious DECLARATION to the Universe of who you now CHOOSE TO BE! And it usually unfolds something along these literal lines. You do an amazing amount of meditating, reading, workshops, seminars, coaching and come to that magical AH HA moment of realization in which blocks and/or limiting beliefs are seen for the ego illusions that they actually are, and your body tingles with GODBUMPS!! You know the feeling I am talking about if you are on this path! And suddenly, its party time! Yeaaaaaa for me! I am growing, learning, and raising my personal level of consciousness. All is good in the world and the horizon seems unlimited in its potential of future manifestations. Is any of this resonating so far?! For many of you, I am sure it is hitting a chord of commiseration.
And then, out of the blue, your world becomes flooded with the EXACT OPPOSITE people, experiences, and circumstances from the new vibrational declaration you have fought so valiantly toward. Toxic Ex boyfriends and/or girlfriends start showing up out of the blue. Events that once triggered you into egoic and low energy vibrations start manifesting no matter what way you turn. And you begin to believe one of two things; either you are slowly going looney tunes, or all this self transformational work is complete and total bullshit!! Trust me, I've been there on several occasions. In fact, at one point, this phenomenon caused me to grab a dark black ink magic marker to start ‘HIGHLIGHTING’ some of my favorite passages from the pastiche of transformative books in my collection. Well, (Marking through a paragraph in all black ink) never have to read that passage again! Don't believe me, I have the blackened passages to prove it!!! Just sayin...... ;0)
All this changed when a past mentor sat me down to set me straight. And I will now share his wisdom with you! The moment that you make this declaration of WHO YOU NOW CHOOSE TO BE, everything unlike it will flood into your existence. BUT IT IS NOT A TEST. I repeat, this is NOT about the Universe trying to test your essence. It isn't set up that way. Life isn't a game, nor is your experience of it. It's serious spiritual stuff transpiring here! Now what is occurring is SOURCE energy allowing you the most precious of OPPORTUNITIES. In this realm we traverse through 7 different levels of energy at any given time, and this is simply the Universe's way of double checking that this new YOU is truly what you DESIRE. And please learn to accept and be in complete gratitude of this often incredibly challenging process. Think about it for a minute. Given our society's prevalent ADHD and oscillation in our decision making process, aren't you thankful that the system gives you time to make sure our impetuousness is not clouding our new TRUTH?!? I know I sure am! I can't fathom what my life would look like if the transformation of my Hero's Journey shifted on every emotional whim that crossed through my complex internal processing Paradigm. While it might make for a terrific episode of E! True Hollywood Stories it certainly wouldn't support my highest vision! And that is just plain old keepin it real!! Who is with me?!?
So how do we measure our progress through these moments of opportunistic deluges?! The answer is fairly simple! We GAUGE the time we spend in allowance of these disruptions to distract us from our new TRUTH! In fact, I will share with you exactly what I mean with a recent experience of my own when I temporarily fell of my horse for a young lady I recent met.. As I have disclosed in many previous posts, given my traumatic childhood, I had a long standing pattern of chasing after women who were emotionally unavailable, and/or treated me in a manner that was much less than I deserved. I ignored red flags the same way so many of us ignore the stoplight as it turns yellow to mean GO FASTER!! LOL Seriously! For many years, LOVE to me equalled struggle, chaos, and having to prove that I was worthy of someone's care and attention. As pathetic as it sounds, it was something conditioned and imprinted into my psyche from a very early age when my father abandonded the family when I was a mere three years old. That led to many years of various abuse at the hands of my caretakers that had a lasting impact on my conditioning about what relationships should look like.
After years of self work, I now I have made significant progress toward healing these dysfunctional patterns and my own level of self worth has skyrocketed in the process. Thank you God!! Well the past couple of weeks, I have been communicating with a lovely young lady who seemed spiritual and kind and incredibly conscious. THEN, some red flags started to rear their nasty head, all cumulating in a very painful, caustic, extremely judgmental interaction last evening that lasted into the wee hours of the night. Now five years ago, I would have stayed up all night writing her an email to try and make amends with our night's painful co-creation! But NOT THIS NIGHT!! No way Jose!
I decided to be a true a Lightworker and shine my new found level of self worth into her darkness. I did not allow her to dim my light!! Five years ago, I would have woken up this morning as a basket case. Full of self judgment and self loathing. And spending an inordinate amount of time trying to make amends from last nights escapades. But NOT on this day. I have not responded back to her caustic texts and actually hold her in a place of absolute reverence. But FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM!!! I am still LOVING her, but it is perfectly Ok to love someone from the other side of the room!! And just think of the birthday and Christmas card money I am going to save money on this year!! LOL
The ultimate point I wish to convey in this post is that the path toward self mastery is a never-ending process. And just when we think we have graduated from a lesson in our pattern , it often has a funny way of resurfacing just when we are ready to bask in the light of our accomplishments! And the real truth of the matter is that there is no Right or Wrong with whatever way you decide to go. Either fall back with the crows, or lift off and fly with the Eagles! It all comes down to who you truly choose to be and manifest next in life!
As Neale Donald Walsh says in “Conversations with God” “Never do anything in relationship out of a sense of obligation. Do whatever you do out of a sense of the glorious opportunity your relationship affords you to decide, and to be, Who You Really Are.”
Again, please Re-member when these past people and circumstances come back into your life, it is of your Highest Choice to acknowledge them as the ultimate OPPORTUNITY for you to finalize a new contact with the Universe of WHO YOU NOW CHOOSE TO BE! And when the flood waters start to recede, it will leave a clear path for that which you now desire to experience to find their way into your experience!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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