If there is ONE thing I have learned with absolutely certainty through my Hero's Journey, it is ‘With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.’ And for those of us who have been gifted as temporary stewards of an extremely high EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, No Thing could be farther from the truth. We are literally emotional geniuses. True Super Heroes in our own right! But rather than being able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, or shoot laser beams from our eyes, we have the innate ability to decipher the emotional resonance of almost every persona and situation that comes into our experience. And that is pretty cool stuff indeed!! And quite powerful to boot! Rather than wasting our precious energy on the ‘noise’ all around us, we are able to sift through the static and ascertain the truthful vibrational resonance of what issues are causing the chaos we see and be a SOURCE of emotional calm to steady the spiritual storm upon us. That's just how we roll!! ;0)
However, like with most great power comes the need to temper our own strength so it can be used as a tool of healing , understanding, and growth for the highest good of all concerned. And for a great majority of us, there in lies the challenge. We have a tendency to over think and use our high level of EI (Emotional Intelligence) to talk ourselves and others out of of action steps that may just be exactly what the Spiritual Pharmacy ordered for our transformative nature. In layman terms, we have a tendency to talk ourselves and others out of pretty much anything that challenges or scares us toward the unknown. I will call myself out and say that I have gotten my PHD in my ability of completely rationalizing myself from moving forward in many areas of life that seemed too daunting to face. All using the Universe given gifts of a very high Emotional Intelligence. I have even been called out on this very fact from more than one of my mentors with a similar declaration of, “Jeff, you have the capability of pretty much talking yourself in and/or out of any action step or plan of attack that you choose. In fact, you are a GENIUS at it doing it.” Now while that might seem like faint praise, I completely understood their subtext in the message. While emotions are truly the GUIDEPOSTS to the soul, they can also be used to your detriment if not used with extreme care and discernment!
Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, developed a framework of five elements that define emotional intelligence:
1. Self awareness
People with high EI understand their emotions and they don’t let their feelings rule them. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they work on these areas so they can perform better.
2. Self regulation
This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self regulate typically don’t allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don’t make impulsive, careless decisions. They think before they act.
3. Motivation
People with a high EI are willing to defer immediate results for long-term success. They are highly productive,love a challenge, and are effective in whatever they do.
4. Empathy
This is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around you. Empathetic people avoid stereotyping and judging too quickly, and they live their lives in an open, honest way.
5. Social skills
People with strong social skills are typically team players. Rather than focus on their own success, they help others to develop and shine. They can manage disputes, are excellent communicators, and are masters at building and maintaining relationships.
I find this to be a fantastic checklist to ascertain your current level of Emotional Intelligence. Because as Theodore Roosevelt proclaimed, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Profound and simple wisdom........
So here are some suggestions that us EMPATHS and individuals in the New Age Nerd community can incorporate to help channel of off the charts Emotional Intelligence into true power, leadership and strength:
Here are five factors that are crucial for emotionally intelligent leadership:
1. SELF-AWARENESS
The basis of any degree of emotional intelligence is awareness of our own emotions, what causes them, and how we react to them. Leaders who are more aware are able to develop skills that will help them manage their own emotions, allowing them to respond more effectively to situations that come up.
Instead of reacting to their emotions, they are able to engage their thinking capacity to come up with better decisions. Leaders who react from their emotions without filtering them can severely damage relationships and increase mistrust amongst their staff.
2. AWARENESS OF OTHERS
The more self-awareness that leaders have, the higher will be their awareness of the emotions of others around them. Having an awareness of emotions, how they are created, and how they influence people will allow them to not take emotions of others, such as anger, personally. Less likely to jump to conclusions or judgment, they are more likely to get to the root of the issue and the cause of strong emotional reactions of others.
3. LISTENING SKILLS
Most people fall into the habit of thinking of a response, while others are speaking instead of actively listening. Emotionally strong leaders avoid that trap, realizing that they need to understand not only the content of what others are saying, but also pick up the feelings behind the words that are being spoken.
The emotions behind the words are often more important than the words spoken. It is only when those emotions are acknowledged that people feel that they are being heard. Often complaints are about situations that leaders can do little to change. People are often aware of that, but still have the need to feel heard.
Emotionally intelligent leaders hear their staff and by doing so are able to connect with them on a deeper level.
4. AWARENESS OF EMOTIONAL ATMOSPHERE
Effective leaders are not only aware of what is going on with their people in one-to-one conversations, they are able to pick up the mood and feelings of their work environment. Tuned in emotionally, they are aware of the many factors that can influence the feelings of their employees.
Fear of job loss, losing coworkers due to death or injury, rumors of financial problems in the organization, and various other factors are common in every workplace and affect the emotional well-being of staff. Feeling that leaders understand their situation and care about their staff will increase trust, loyalty, and performance from them.
It is important that leaders are able to stay tuned in to the emotions of their workplace and effectively communicate that to their people.
5. ABILITY TO ANTICIPATE REACTIONS AND RESPOND EFFECTIVELY
Emotionally intelligent leaders are able to anticipate how their people are likely to react to situations and don’t wait until after the damage is done to respond. If they are aware that bad news is coming, such as anticipated layoffs, business closures, and other events, they do what they can to openly to respond to them before they happen.
Realizing that rumors can quickly spread and cause more damage than the actual event, they rely upon their emotional and social skills to help staff through these times.
~~ Excerpt from Fast Company and written by Harvey Deutschendorf
So for all of us gifted with the Super Power of a Gi-normous level of Emotional Intelligence, it is my desire that the above information will help you channel and transfer your God given gifts into the brilliant level of AWE-inspiring understanding it was always meant to deliver and be shared with the world!!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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