The Making of a New Age Nerd.............

Looking back now, the first 'CALLING' from the Universe toward my own Hero's Journey was quite literal and came rather pragmatically.  I was just about to finish up my senior year of high school in Sterling, Virginia, a quiet suburb outside of Washington DC.  My slavish passion for 'Nerd Culture' had me working nights and weekends after school at our local video rental store.  Digital content was still many moons away, which meant our little cinematic treasure house was usually packed full of like minded fans of the silver screen, some often waiting hours to get their hands on the latest video releases.   Given my somewhat obsessive affinity for film, (especially the ones with heroes and villains, spaceships, guys in capes, dragons, and damsels in distress)  for me it was like being in Hollywood Heaven.  "No need to take me God,"  I am already HOME.  I couldn't believe someone was actually PAYING ME to traverse the store's floor room to assist the customers in picking out the perfect film for their movie nights.   I guess those were the very first seeds being planted toward my purpose of helping others identify the stories that shape and inspire them towards their own Hero and Heroine's Journey.

But I will never forget the night that first CALL came.  It was just after 9 o'clock at night, and I was just finishing up with vacuum duties to help close down the video store for the evening.  I suddenly felt the hand of my manager slightly tugging on my shoulder.  

"Jeff, turn off the vacuum,"she urged.  
"Hold on, I'm almost finished, " I shot back.

She walked in front of me, and gently removed my hand from the vacuum's handle.  The solemn look on her face shot a bolt of fear thru me.  "Had somebody died," I thought to myself.

"Your mom just called.  Some blood work came back and your doctors are concerned.  
Your parents are on their way to pick you up right now," she explained.

My heart sank and my soul shook violently.  Yes, I had been feeling REALLY tired the last few months.  But I had been blaming it on working so hard.  I was studying like a banshee getting ready for college that Fall, and working close to 40 hours a week to create a savings for the school year.  Plus, I was just 18 years old.  Way too young to deal with anything seriously health related.  Or so I THOUGHT!

Within minutes, my parents pulled up to the store's curb front, and I could see from their faces that they were obviously concerned.  I slowly got into the mini-van, my mind racing with fear.  

My mom somewhat calmly explained that the blood work I needed to have drawn up for entrance into college had come back to my doctors office that evening.  I was SEVERELY anemic, to the point that they were amazed I was still functioning.  They wanted to see me first thing the next morning to run more tests.  

The last time I had gotten less sleep than that evening was when I still believed in the magic of Santa Claus.  Each minute lying in bed seemed like a lifetime.  But I knew this time,  there would be NO presents awaiting me when I awoke.

During the car ride to the hospital the following morning, I imagined my doctor being a Jedi Knight.  Using the Force to remove, heal, and fix whatever was wrong with me.  I guess it really wasn't a mystery why I had never had a girlfriend.  ;0)

I spent the next few hours being poked and prodded by nurses and doctors.   None of it was too awful, UNTIL I saw one of the nurses slathering up a five foot long tube that appeared to be nearly  as thick as our garden hose back home.  The doctor in the room started fidgeting with a video monitor.  But it didn't take a brain surgeon to realize that we weren't going to be watching any movie that I would want to see!    If only YODA was here, none of this would be happening, I thought.

The nurse picked up the vaseline drenched end of the endoscope and told me to roll over onto my left side.  She slowly approached my awaiting backside area, when suddenly, I sat back up!

"Um, I'm afraid this can't happen right now," I shot out.   "I'm kinda saving myself for marriage."

They promised to never let the eventual lucky lady know what went down next.  Good thing, because before I mentally blacked out, I am quite sure I wailed like a baby and blurted out more than one epithet that would have made even a sailor blush.

With the tests FINALLY over, my primary care physician finally appeared, and told me and my mom to stay in the waiting room and be patient.  They were simply awaiting the results of the days procedures.

The next couple of hours were quite excruciating.  This was years before cell phones, tablets, and the internet were available to keep you pre-occupied with simply BEING with your thoughts.  Of course my mind raced with terrifying visions of what news a doctor might bring into the room at any moment.  However, I remember this also being the very FIRST time that I recognized my Soul's connection to Spirit.  

Up to that point in my life, I had been painfully shy and introverted.  An incredibly turbulent childhood had taken its toll.  I doubted my self worth  BIG TIME.  With little understanding of healthy boundaries and who to trust,  I usually felt much more comfortable by myself.   With the accumulation of less than a handful of friends, I am sure my external world seemed barren and mysterious to most of  those around me.  Thanks to the wonderful world of MYTHS I found woven within the fabric of all my favorite pop culture passions my inner world was rich and full.   As Einstein said, 'Imagination is more important than knowledge.'  And mine was filled with visions of the adventures I so longed to experience in the real world.  I longed to destroy the Death Star like Luke Skywalker.   And dreamt of traveling the globe to save the world as the wondrous archeologist Indiana Jones, dropping awesome one-liners that would make everyone laugh.    I desired to get in the ring and stand toe to toe alongside Rocky and his next foe.  That's why every inch of my bedroom's walls had always been filled with posters of Batman and Spider-Man, and one-sheets of my favorite films like Robocop and the Terminator.

And in the doctors offices that day, my Soul began to whisper to me for the first time.  Back then, it felt more like a foreign exchange student trying to communicate with me, and I didn't speak the language.   Because I now believe that Spirit speaks to us through our feelings, I will never forget how that soulful whisper made me feel.  I felt larger than my body.  It suddenly seemed that there was something deeper to my life than the way I had been living it.  Looking back in rumination, it's as if my Soul was saying, "We got the money to green light YOUR script.  The script of your life.  But it is up to you to start LIVING it."


Tomorrow:    The Making of A New Age Nerd Part 2!!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez