Swayze's character refused to repeat the words “I love you” back to Demi Moore when she uttered the sentiment to him. He didn't want the word to lose its power and meaning by using it incessantly. So instead, he would simply return the gesture by saying “DITTO.”
I bring this up because I sense a very similar vibration surrounding the word in our current culture. While it is heartwarming to see hundreds of people at the peaceful protests and memorial services for all the recent shooting victims holding signs of ‘LOVE NOT HATE’ and other various messages using this expression, I think it is critical for us to remember what LOVE truly means and stands for. After all, it is the most POWERFUL vibration in the Universe and is the cause of most miracles in our experience.
I believe one issue is that our culture is so mesmerized by the notion of ‘being in LOVE’, that we confuse this feeling and its proper usage for the highest good of all concerned. You see, LOVE is a VERB, and not a NOUN. It is a choice and it is an action. And before you claim me a cynic, I'll have you know, I am a hopeless romantic. Profoundly so in fact. I have a list of numbers of young ladies you can call for verification! I will even admit to having been ‘crazy in LOVE' on more than one occasion. The KING of grand romanic gestures! Oh the stories I could tell! And my therapist will be back me up to any naysayers. 😎
Author Stephen Covey sites an encounter with a client in his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” The client asks him what he should do about his failing marriage. He says that he’s tried everything and that there’s no love left between him and his wife. The client asked Covey what he should do about his wife and kids. “Have you tried loving her?” asks Covey. “I’ve told you, there’s no love anymore,” says the client. Covey reiterates, “But have you tried loving her?” The client begins to get mad before Covey explains. “Love is a verb, it is an action. You must do things for her, listen to her, be there for her. It’s not about what happens in return but what you do to love her.”
He tells his client that during the next three months, he is to LOVE his wife with the fervent ACTIONS and gestures like when he first fell ‘in LOVE’ with her. And then he makes his client a deal. If after three months of dedicated, consistent loving action towards her, he still wants a divorce, he will coach him through it! And you know what, the client returned exactly three months later with a renewed sense of passion for his relationship. And thoughts of any separation faded back into the ether from which they came!
Now obviously there are some relationships that have reached the end of their service toward both parties, and NO amount of actionable loving gestures will change that. And that is OK. As the saying goes, some people come into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. There is no shame in making a decision on what is best for the highest good of all concerned!
But for the point of this post, I would like to help us all remember that the LOVE our world requires right NOW is in terms of its true meaning: ACTION! And one of the most basic reframing tools of our actions is a fairly basic one. I constantly tell my clients that they can choose to be RIGHT, or they can choose to be LOVING in any relationship, argument, disagreement, or confrontation. BUT, they cannot choose to be both. So I urge them to choose LOVE. And it is my wish that from this point forward, so do you!
While holding signs and standing in protest is a magnificent gesture in conviction toward the change we seek to experience, one that changes our vibration from hate and fear to love, it takes more than that to truly cause a rift in our behavioral patterns back toward our true essence of pure awakened consciousness. For you who are still racking your noggins on what I mean, here is a small list of actionable steps seeped in LOVE that any of us can partake in:
1. Go visit a senior assisted living home and spend time with the residents. You will be AMAZED at the sharing of LOVE you will be engaged with!
2. Volunteer at a food kitchen for the needy. One out of four people in the US go hungry EVERY day. What would it feel like to contribute toward that atrocity?!
3. Go check in on your elderly or disabled neighbors. Even if it is just to sit with them so they know someone cares. Last year, my mother and I assisted a neighbor who had diabetes, no left arm, and MS. And no family to care for her. Simply bringing her a morning coffee often brought tears to her eyes before she made her transition back to SPIRIT!
4. Stop and actually acknowledge the next homeless person you encounter. You don't always need to offer them money. Simply looking them in the eye and letting them know you see them and that they matter can make the biggest difference to these precious SOULS.
5. Choose one person a day to reach out to with a quick email or even better a PHONE CALL to tell them how much they mean to you and how wonderful and valuable you think they are to you.
6. Visit a dog shelter and sign up to be a dog walker for the poor pups who are stuck in cages all day. After all, DOG spelled backwards is GOD!
7. Find a local church or community Good Will center and inquire to see if they need volunteers to help in any fashion. Free help to institutions low on funds is always a Heavenly sent gift!
8. Sign up to be a mentor for a young boy or girl who is in the foster system. Teach them through your actions that the world validates their worth and assist them on a path toward a purpose that will give them HOPE and Faith on their Superhero's Journey.
I'm sure if you thought about it, you could come up with your own list of things that perfectly fit the sensibilities that form a passionate form of service. And I hope that starting today, you do just that. I know we are all busy, and that time is a precious commodity. But if your intentions are pure, the Universe will create time where there was previously only chaos. As we New Age Nerds are aware, time is just an illusion. But the need for our collective consciousness to create long lasting change is NOT!
As Marianne Williamson says, “A miracle is a shift from fear to LOVE.” And the fastest and most indelible way to create a Miracle is through the action of LOVE!!!
BE SUPER HEROIC!
LOVE-LAUGH-SERVE-INSPIRE
Nerdmaste,
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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