The past few weeks have been somewhat challenging for me and some of my hard fought personal boundaries. Sometimes, individuals who have devoted their life to one of loving service can attract Souls who are still in a state of awakening And this can wreck havoc on LIGHT WORKERS who are incredibly sensitive, open and vulnerable, and oh so giving. These emotional vampires are attracted to 'Servants to Source' like pigs in a blanket! And I know this from many personal experiences. Aye dios mio! I've sometimes wished there was such a thing as a SOURCE filled IV to replenish what I allowed them to drain from me. (There actually is such a thing. It's called meditation and mindfulness!) But that's for another post.. ;0)
And what I have witnessed as of late is a ginormous decrease in what I call 'Co-Creational Relationships.' Because ALL relationships are completely co-creational in their inherent nature. My definition of this type of relationship is one in which all involved choose to respect their sacred connection with mutual care, respect, and kindness! For a myriad of reasons, our collective consciousness has lost this core connection with one another on even the most basic levels. Since I truly believe you are either part of the problem or part of the solution, I actually made a New Year's declaration that I would stop texting so much. And instead start actually picking up my cellphone to call (not just text) people in my inner circle. ;0)
Needless to say, I have found it beyond challenging to get most of my TRIBE to 'get on board' with my attempt in shifting the manner in which we connect with one another. While I refrain from judging their choices, it doesn't mean that reaching out to close friends and relatives and not hearing back from them for days and even weeks at a time is not both hurtful and challenging to accept. After all, it is a proven fact that the most important determinant of your success and happiness in life are the individuals we choose to be in our inner circle. In fact, are you aware you will end up being the median of the five closest cohorts in your TRIBE! As the old saying goes, 'birds of a feather flock together.' You can either choose to fly with the crows or soar with the Eagles! (Crows are simply Eagles in training!) I ask you, WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE!
But after much rumination, my Soul continued whispering to me that while there are times in which we will choose to 'love someone from the other side of the room', perhaps there is another, more conscious resolution to implement before making that decision. And it ALL has to do with sharing our LOVE with those in our life. LOVING them back into the light just may be an act that will help them shift their own consciousness!
So I have put together some suggestions and tips I invite you to implement in your own relationships. I have done so and the results have created some MIRACLES and new deep rooted connections! I will be holding a space of connection and patience for you all so that we may remember WE ARE ALL ONE!
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Last time I checked, the great majority of us are NOT mind readers. And if you happen to have this highly coveted ability, please call me. Let's chat!! Seriously...LOL
For the rest of us, we must settle on the subtle art of asking our friends, lovers, relatives, and co-workers what they need from us. Unfortunately, most of us miss the mark like a very unexperienced arrow shooter when it comes to this form of communication. And as simple and innocuous as it may seem, it actually can wreak havoc in ALL of our relationships!
In fact, it is a scientific fact the majority of our deeply held wounds, the type that keep our inner emotions hostage to dysfunctional behaviors are a direct result of us NOT receiving the LOVE in the form of compassion, respect, care and support most of us seek whether we admit it to ourselves or not.
So here are some tips you may decide to include in your daily communication that I have seen work wonders with my clients and friends once they practice them enough so that they seem authentic and truly heartfelt.
1. Since chances are you are NOT a mindreader, what would it look like to actually ask someone you value in your life HOW THEY WOULD LIKE YOU TO SHOW UP FOR THEM IN THE MOMENT? Earth shattering thought, I know... LOL But I think of all the tips and suggestions I have tried to build stronger relationships in my life, this offering of kindness has been met with the most enthusiasm and gratitude. For many people, the first time they hear me ask them this, it is like they are speaking to an alien from another planet. I don't believe they have ever had the opportunity for someone to completely eradicate THEIR agenda so they can concentrate on what is going on in their world. Let's keep it real here! THIS IS ALL ABOUT NOT MAKING IT ABOUT YOU! Feel Me!! I KNOW you do! But before I throw any stones, I have been guilty of turning someone else's story into what I am going through enough times to build my own glass house. Just sayin.....
2. There are many of us that have rarely been given the confidence in our lives to help assist us in our goals and lively endeavors. It may seem ludicrous to think about, but I have come across enough friends, clients and relatives to KNOW IT TO BE TRUE!! So another powerful suggestion that I implement with my clients is to tell them how much I BELIEVE IN THEM! Very often their first retort is usually something to the effect of , “That's easy for you to say, or I wish I could believe what you are saying.” And ya know what? I absolutely LOVE it when they come back at me with such volition! Why? Because it allows me to pull out my verbal magic wand, the one I keep hidden for just such occasions. I simply lower my voice, and look them straight in the eye, or pretend I am doing so over the phone, and tell them, “No problem. I will hold a space that you are MORE than capable of whatever you put your mind to until YOU can hold that space for yourself! I BELIEVE IN YOU and I will always and in all ways!! I promise, I will stand by your side at all times.” And then I stop before I start to sound too much like a James Taylor song...LOL
3. Be somebody's personal cheerleader! Celebrate small victories for and with them. Nobody can do it alone and all Journey's start having the conviction of taking the very first few steps! Right?! DAMN STRAIGHT!! And the difference between those of us who make our dreams come true and those who don't, usually stem from those who are brave enough to take the first few steps. So I urge you to make a ginormous (well, not too ginormous) deal about the small victories in your friends lives. They will appreciate it more than you could ever know! Trust me...... ;0) Send them an actual letter in the mail. Drop by unexpectedly with a bottle of wine or just to give them a big fat juicy hug and tell them how amazing they are! Most of us who decided to take on our own Superhero's Journey often feel like we are on an island by ourselves. And it can be pretty scary and even more lonely. So just letting someone know you are thinking about them can sometimes make all the difference in the world!
4. I call this the JUST BECAUSE. And it is a pretty simple thing to incorporate into your life and the lives of those you treasure. Learn to do things for others JUST BECAUSE. Send someone a vase of wildflowers. Or leave a small note on their car windshield just to tell them you care and see them for who they truly are! Pick up the phone and if they aren't there, leave them message telling them how much they mean to you !! Treat them to lunch and give them a card expressing the Superhero you think they are in your life! This, I believe my New Age Nerd friends, has the power to CHANGE THIS WORLD!
The funny thing is that to many of us this world seems incredible messed up and there does not seem to be a way back to the light. But I truly believe with ALL MY HEART that is it just NOT as difficult as we are making it to be. As Gandalf said in The Hobbit, “I have found it is the small things, random acts of kindness that keeps the darkness of this world at bay.”
BE SUPER HEROIC!
LOVE-SERVE-INSPIRE
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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