It's hard to believe that our family is quickly coming upon the 10 year mark since the passing of my father and best friend Roger Lee Poston. Unfortunately his death was not a painless one. No, he suffered the damns of HELL for well over a year before finally succumbing to brain cancer. I believe my biggest regret is that I never sat down with him to ponder about what, if any, regrets he had about the manner in which he used his time here on Earth. My father was the most compassionate, giving, selfless man I have ever met. Yet he could also be as stubborn as any mule! I think that's why I never really tried to engage him in such banter during his ordeal with cancer. He seemed to be absolutely reticent toward discussing his imminent passing, nor anything relating to his situational predicaments. I know he had personal regrets, as we all do. But they stayed locked inside his heart, as he desired them to.
Looking back, it was in many ways a serenity filled manner to live out his final days. He had no interest in looking back, nor engaging the future. His only intention seemed to BE HERE NOW.....
While a little more communication surrounding the after effects of his transition may have eased some of our family's post passing concerns, we respected his wishes. I still believe his actions came from pure LOVE. He couldn't bare to think of whatever burdens his passing may cause our family. That's just how selfless he was, ALWAYS!
As I was remembering my father's memory, I came across an article on ‘The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying.’ As I engaged this information, I decided to share it with the New Age Nerd community. It is also in honor of my dear Uncle Larry, one of my greatest spiritual mentors, who also passed away three years ago. Always the mentor, he once shared an indelible story and life lesson to me any years ago.
He told me the story of a dying man who awoke one night to find a host of ghosts surrounding his hospital bed. Understandable scared out of his wits, he pressed the nurse's call button. But to no avail. He screamed out for help, yet his calls went unanswered. He finally mustered up the courage to ask the ghosts if they were there to take him to Heaven or Hell.
The most grotesque of the translucent figures shook his head with a resounding "NO!" “Then why are you here. What have I done to bring upon such terror?” he hesitantly asked. In a simmered voice, the same ghost replied, “ It is NOT what you have done that causes our calling this evening. It is what you NEVER did with your time that we are here!”
The man confusingly retorted, “I don't understand. I tried to live my life with respect and compassion toward all.”
The ghost continued with his explanation, “And we have witnessed that very kindness that you so easily spread to all those that crossed your path. Each of the ghostly beings surrounding your bed represent one regret that you will carry with you after this life has ended. The job in Cincinnati you never chased after. The young lady at the bar in Boston who you let slip out the door without asking for her number. The business to help others that you spent hundreds of hours planning for but never actually launched.”
My Uncle Larry then leaned in close to my personal space and gently whispered, “Jeff, how many ghosts of regret do you want surrounding your hospital bed during your last days?” And that question has helped instill within me the courage, perseverance and fortitude to make sure the only beings around my bed during my final days are the family members and friends I shared this experience called life with.
For those of us that are fortunate enough to still have plenty of life to live, the following 5 Regrets of The Dying are wonderful suggestions for all of us as we live out the rest of our time here on Earth. They were culled from a group of individuals who had fewer than 12 weeks to live. So here they are:
1. I Wish I Lived and Followed My Dreams and Not The Life Others Expected of Me.
This was by far and away the number one regret on the list. And I think that makes sense. Too many of us NEVER live the life of our true calling. And that is a true SHAME. Mostly because it denies us all of all the gifts we came here to share with the world.
2. I Wish I Didn't Work So Hard
Having a healthy work ethic is an admirable and effective attribute to assist us in carving out the life we truly wish to manifest in our lives. But many of us become workaholics who become addicted to our work schedules all to the detriment of our health, relationships, and well being. None of the respondents in this study said they regretted not spending more time behind a desk!
3. I Wish I Had The Courage To Express My Feelings With Others
Many of us do our very best to avoid confrontation. We are so afraid of what others may think or possibly even doing more damage to our various relationships. Yet if done with open honesty, mixed with heartfelt compassion, you will often find that confronting others with your true feelings clears the pain, anger, and bitterness that is all toxic energy. And that toxic energy eventually builds up and solidifies in our bodies as Dis-ease! So I highly suggest finding the courage to confront others with our pain caused from engagements with one another. In fact, you may find that many times the other person is completely unaware of your feelings from their words and actions! If done with LOVE and compassion, it is a wonderful way to create new MIRACLES in your relationships.....
4. I Wish I Had Stayed In Touch With My Friends
The study found that the ONLY two things the dying truly cared about was the relationships with their family and friends. Enough said!
5. I Wish I Had Let Myself Be Happier
We currently live in such a materialistic world where the goal has become chasing ‘things’ that we believe will bring us contentment and happiness. What this group of wise beings realized slowly throughout their lives is that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE! Their resounding universal message was “Learn to relax and enjoy the good things already in your life.”
P.S. Inspired by the regrets of the dying people she cared for, Bronnie Ware went on to become a writer and songwriter. The experience totally transformed her life and she is daring everyday to live up to their truest potential. She authored a full-length memoir about this experience titled ‘
As I was remembering my father's memory, I came across an article on ‘The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying.’ As I engaged this information, I decided to share it with the New Age Nerd community. It is also in honor of my dear Uncle Larry, one of my greatest spiritual mentors, who also passed away three years ago. Always the mentor, he once shared an indelible story and life lesson to me any years ago.
He told me the story of a dying man who awoke one night to find a host of ghosts surrounding his hospital bed. Understandable scared out of his wits, he pressed the nurse's call button. But to no avail. He screamed out for help, yet his calls went unanswered. He finally mustered up the courage to ask the ghosts if they were there to take him to Heaven or Hell.
The most grotesque of the translucent figures shook his head with a resounding "NO!" “Then why are you here. What have I done to bring upon such terror?” he hesitantly asked. In a simmered voice, the same ghost replied, “ It is NOT what you have done that causes our calling this evening. It is what you NEVER did with your time that we are here!”
The man confusingly retorted, “I don't understand. I tried to live my life with respect and compassion toward all.”
The ghost continued with his explanation, “And we have witnessed that very kindness that you so easily spread to all those that crossed your path. Each of the ghostly beings surrounding your bed represent one regret that you will carry with you after this life has ended. The job in Cincinnati you never chased after. The young lady at the bar in Boston who you let slip out the door without asking for her number. The business to help others that you spent hundreds of hours planning for but never actually launched.”
My Uncle Larry then leaned in close to my personal space and gently whispered, “Jeff, how many ghosts of regret do you want surrounding your hospital bed during your last days?” And that question has helped instill within me the courage, perseverance and fortitude to make sure the only beings around my bed during my final days are the family members and friends I shared this experience called life with.
For those of us that are fortunate enough to still have plenty of life to live, the following 5 Regrets of The Dying are wonderful suggestions for all of us as we live out the rest of our time here on Earth. They were culled from a group of individuals who had fewer than 12 weeks to live. So here they are:
1. I Wish I Lived and Followed My Dreams and Not The Life Others Expected of Me.
This was by far and away the number one regret on the list. And I think that makes sense. Too many of us NEVER live the life of our true calling. And that is a true SHAME. Mostly because it denies us all of all the gifts we came here to share with the world.
2. I Wish I Didn't Work So Hard
Having a healthy work ethic is an admirable and effective attribute to assist us in carving out the life we truly wish to manifest in our lives. But many of us become workaholics who become addicted to our work schedules all to the detriment of our health, relationships, and well being. None of the respondents in this study said they regretted not spending more time behind a desk!
3. I Wish I Had The Courage To Express My Feelings With Others
Many of us do our very best to avoid confrontation. We are so afraid of what others may think or possibly even doing more damage to our various relationships. Yet if done with open honesty, mixed with heartfelt compassion, you will often find that confronting others with your true feelings clears the pain, anger, and bitterness that is all toxic energy. And that toxic energy eventually builds up and solidifies in our bodies as Dis-ease! So I highly suggest finding the courage to confront others with our pain caused from engagements with one another. In fact, you may find that many times the other person is completely unaware of your feelings from their words and actions! If done with LOVE and compassion, it is a wonderful way to create new MIRACLES in your relationships.....
4. I Wish I Had Stayed In Touch With My Friends
The study found that the ONLY two things the dying truly cared about was the relationships with their family and friends. Enough said!
5. I Wish I Had Let Myself Be Happier
We currently live in such a materialistic world where the goal has become chasing ‘things’ that we believe will bring us contentment and happiness. What this group of wise beings realized slowly throughout their lives is that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE! Their resounding universal message was “Learn to relax and enjoy the good things already in your life.”
P.S. Inspired by the regrets of the dying people she cared for, Bronnie Ware went on to become a writer and songwriter. The experience totally transformed her life and she is daring everyday to live up to their truest potential. She authored a full-length memoir about this experience titled ‘
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing’.
Excerpt by
BE SUPER HEROIC!
LOVE - SERVE - INSPIRE
Excerpt by
BE SUPER HEROIC!
LOVE - SERVE - INSPIRE
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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