Plus, this decision was far from being impetuous. No! Far from it. One night, well into my several month stay at George Washington Hospital, I had another ethereal experience that continued the spiritual crack in my consciousness. One that truly deepened/quickened my own spiritual awakening. It came in the form of a second visit from my Spirit Guides. I wrote about it in a past post, but I am quite aware that many of you New Age Nerds never read it. So I am posting a portion of it's potent, albeit esoteric prose now:
The Elders did indeed appear in my room, and took the exact same positions around my bed as the first time they surprised me with their presence. But this visit had a much more tangible reason for being. As in the first visit, they each stepped toward me. One by one, and laid out a single outstretched hand to rest on my body's core. The first one told me the Journey here in the hospital was about to end. And that I would soon be going home with no further complications. And to have FAITH in that. The second Elder, at the head of the bed, then reached forward with a message of his own. Again, all through finite FEELINGS. (We communicate through feelings on the other side) He said that I was
to- get this- move to Hollywood, CA. And that the next step in my calling required me to be in Los Angeles, where I was born. Certainly his declaration of a move to Hollywood was far from expected. Perhaps India, Nepal, or Peru. But Hollywood?!
to- get this- move to Hollywood, CA. And that the next step in my calling required me to be in Los Angeles, where I was born. Certainly his declaration of a move to Hollywood was far from expected. Perhaps India, Nepal, or Peru. But Hollywood?!
When I asked why, the final Elder stepped forward and said that they could not disclose that information. Because the wisdom and KNOWINGNESS I needed was to be found along this Superhero's Journey. They each told me how much I was LOVED and CHERISHED. Then, once again, without warning, they disappeared. Communication with them was like being in a trance filled with tranquility. And when I broke free from that vibration, I once again felt my heart racing. Uncontrollably so! I pushed the emergency button next to my bed and two doctors and nurses flooded into the room. They rushed me down to the cardiologist department and ran several tests. And found nothing!
The following morning I felt refreshed and even had a little bounce and pep to my step for the first time in months. My nausea was completely gone. And for the first time in forever I even had an appetite. I actually desired food! And NOT from the continuous IV bag that had been slowly dripping packaged nutrients into my skeleton of an earthly body. (I had lost 50 pounds from an already frail frame the previous 6 months.) Hell to the yes, and can I get an AMEN up in this hospital room! ;0)
After months of agonizing pain and suffering, one week later, I received my release papers. And for the first time, they were not short lived promises; quickly abated by yet another emergency ridden trip back to the same hospital bed for another visit, with an open ended release date! For after this final visit from The Elders, I never did return to George Washington Hospital. Their professed promise held true and steady!
My dad had just purchased a killer convertible and on this warm summer day, I asked him to put the top down on the ride back home. Tears flooded my eyes as I felt something so simple as the wind blowing through my hair and the sun's lovingly warm touch on my face. There were several times in the hospital in which I seriously pondered my future. And whether I was destined to experience such simple magical moments ever again. Yet, here I was, feeling spectacular and heading back to my own heavenly haven! They say the greatest things in life are FREE, and in my experience, that should be the mantra for the world!
As we pulled up into our driveway, my mom assisted me in getting out of the car and helped me in walking down into the basement where I stayed. My dad went straight to quell one of his favorite earthly activities; GETTING THE MAIL! ;0) (I know you all have dad's who are the exact same way!)
I had just sat down on the sofa when my dad burst through the door calling my name. “Oh my goodness gracious,” I thought. "What NOW," I pondered with anxious emotions engulfing my still fragile state of being. He came charging down the stairs and handed me a postcard.
“Look what came in the mail for you today, Jeff?”, he said.
It was a postcard with a ginormous picture of the HOLLYWOOD sign plastered on the front. I quickly turned the card over. It had been sent from an old friend I had met through an International TV and Radio fellowship we had been awarded straight out of college. We were roommates in the program and had promised to stay in touch upon the fellowship's ending. Of course, as is typically the case, good intentions quickly morph into wonderful memories as life goes by. His name was John Wood and he had just moved to LA. He was working for E! Entertainment and the postcard was basically an open ended invitation for me to visit. I got the most intense case of what I like to call the Godbumps. The ELDERS had told me to move to Hollywood. And here, on my very first day back home, I get a card in the mail from someone I hadn't heard from in five years, inviting me out to LA no less. Talk about signs from the Universe! This was more akin to a real life "Monopoly" card (this one for Sunset Blvd of all places) stoutly declaring my next planned move according to Spirit. Imbued with a magically resolute assurance of its appearance. Wouldn't you concur?!
After months of agonizing pain and suffering, one week later, I received my release papers. And for the first time, they were not short lived promises; quickly abated by yet another emergency ridden trip back to the same hospital bed for another visit, with an open ended release date! For after this final visit from The Elders, I never did return to George Washington Hospital. Their professed promise held true and steady!
My dad had just purchased a killer convertible and on this warm summer day, I asked him to put the top down on the ride back home. Tears flooded my eyes as I felt something so simple as the wind blowing through my hair and the sun's lovingly warm touch on my face. There were several times in the hospital in which I seriously pondered my future. And whether I was destined to experience such simple magical moments ever again. Yet, here I was, feeling spectacular and heading back to my own heavenly haven! They say the greatest things in life are FREE, and in my experience, that should be the mantra for the world!
As we pulled up into our driveway, my mom assisted me in getting out of the car and helped me in walking down into the basement where I stayed. My dad went straight to quell one of his favorite earthly activities; GETTING THE MAIL! ;0) (I know you all have dad's who are the exact same way!)
I had just sat down on the sofa when my dad burst through the door calling my name. “Oh my goodness gracious,” I thought. "What NOW," I pondered with anxious emotions engulfing my still fragile state of being. He came charging down the stairs and handed me a postcard.
“Look what came in the mail for you today, Jeff?”, he said.
It was a postcard with a ginormous picture of the HOLLYWOOD sign plastered on the front. I quickly turned the card over. It had been sent from an old friend I had met through an International TV and Radio fellowship we had been awarded straight out of college. We were roommates in the program and had promised to stay in touch upon the fellowship's ending. Of course, as is typically the case, good intentions quickly morph into wonderful memories as life goes by. His name was John Wood and he had just moved to LA. He was working for E! Entertainment and the postcard was basically an open ended invitation for me to visit. I got the most intense case of what I like to call the Godbumps. The ELDERS had told me to move to Hollywood. And here, on my very first day back home, I get a card in the mail from someone I hadn't heard from in five years, inviting me out to LA no less. Talk about signs from the Universe! This was more akin to a real life "Monopoly" card (this one for Sunset Blvd of all places) stoutly declaring my next planned move according to Spirit. Imbued with a magically resolute assurance of its appearance. Wouldn't you concur?!
___________
Quicker than a torrential twister, I grabbed the phone and called the number written on the back of the postcard. And in five minutes, our five year non-declarative disconnection instantly dissipated into the same bond John and I had shared while in our IRTS fellowship! With a valiant verve, I told him that despite my current state of a much needed full body makeover, I would be in Los Angeles within the next three months; and indeed, nearly three months to the day, I showed up at his E! Entertainment offices ready to begin whatever Superhero's Journey lay before me!
Little did I know of the deep constraints that began my less than auspicious first year in The City of Angels! Here are the high (or lo) lights in proper fashion:
I had my just purchased bed stolen from the top of my SUV as I sullied into Seven-Eleven to grab a drink. I had tied the entire ensemble to the top of my rig just before leaving the mattress store. Yet, as I sauntered out of this local convenience store, I saw several guys WITH MY BED, running down the street, with short stubby legs flailing as if their pants were on fire.
I took off after them, but just before I caught up, a rather nondescript, red pick up truck pulled up beside them. And within seconds, both the bed, and the- ahem - "gentlemen" I had been chasing were safely packed in the truck's back flatbed and quickly zoomed off to God knows where! Lesson number one in Los Angeles' apparent protocol. Beds are at a high premium and in short supply; act accordingly and buyer forever beware! lol
Soon after another trip to the mattress discount store, I moved into my very own pad! And, of course, I quickly scurried to the next item on my check off 'to do' list. It read, "Get a Dog!" Because bringing in another live being into my barely burgeoning LA life was the perfect and completely sensible thing to do, right?! Um, yeah! Not so much........... lol
The very next weekend, after perusing the local paper's classified ads, I came across someone who was fostering a three year old yellow lab . By later that afternoon, "Harley" was in the back seat of my SUV as heading back to my apartment on the busy 405 LA freeway. Super excited, I was blasting late 90's rock music when I heard a quick, sharp scratch. Thinking it came from the car just to the left of me, I leaned over to take a gander, yet saw nothing. Then, my heart started pounding. Was....that...sound...what....I thought ..... it was?!?!
My eyes quickly shot toward the rearview mirror. I saw Harley behind my SUV, coming to a rolling stop in the middle of the freeway! He had jumped out the window! I had made sure to leave the back windows down just a few inches for just a scenario. Yet, somehow, I found one of the few rescue dogs in Los Angeles with an apparent suicide wish! Holy smokes!
Thankfully, Harley miraculously survived the fall with just a chipped front tooth. I do believe it took me much longer to emotionally recover from the ordeal than it did for his obviously mentally unstable psyche....lol
The following week, I returned home from the talent agency gig I had just secured to find my entire apartment ensconced in thick plastic. Didn't make ANY sense! Upon opening my door, a geyser of ghastly hot air shot straight out like a heat filled missile. By the time I had walked into the kitchen to put down my wallet and keys, I was soaking wet with sweat. The thermometer read way over 100 degrees. And the apartment had NO air conditioning. Seriously! Plus, I'm a "Lover," not a "sweater!" ;0)
I immediately called my landlord and discovered that the city had enforced them to do some remodeling on the entire building from bug damage. It seemed illegal to me! Yet peppering the local city ordinance's did little to help the situation. So Harley and I sweated out the next month like a Yogi in a swarmed steam pit of hell!
Was THIS the "Grand Vision" my Spirit Guides had in plan for me with their bristled notion of me moving to Los Angeles?! To no one's surprise, I started having daily doubts about this life choice. If THIS is Heaven, then what must Hell feel like?!
But then, serendipity stepped in. And through a series of Spirit touched circumstances, I soon found myself out of that hellacious apartment! And life started to transform in many wonder filled ways. Including a bevy of new friends, a new (much more desirable) home on the other side of the Hollywood Hills, and several forms of spiritually like minded places and people that truly laid the foundation for my current life's mission! Guess my Spirit Guides knew the pertinent path I needed to pave to strengthen the parts of my SOUL that needed to be stretched and healed. Places where light and love still needed to be applied with knowingness and compassionate care. And through this sometimes arduous process, many light filled Miracles helped shower me with exactly what I needed in order to birth them!
SUPER HEROES IN TRAINING TAKEAWAYS
As they say, the truth is in the pudding. And I have personally witnessed the power of SPIRIT that floods into our existence when we suffer from what I deem as a Break Open! When we hit a period of absolute ROCK BOTTOM, which if truth be told, more of us experience than we are willing to admit!
And if this is the direction in which our life has taken us, oh too many surrender to our Ego and look for a way out of our PAIN!
Yet, if we just have the courage to SURRENDER to our authentic self in the form of our Divine connection to SOURCE energy, we can begin to rebuild our lives. All with Divine Purpose. As we begin the process of finding our true CALLING! For while I DO NOT believe in ABSOLUTES, through 25 years of personal self actualization, we often hit a time period of ROCK BOTTOM that coincides with our unique Break Open!
To quote Gabrielle Bernstein from her transformative memoir SPIRIT JUNKIE, "Hitting bottom and surrendering was the best thing that ever happened to me. It cracked me open and led me to hear the voice of my ~ing again. The willingness to hear this voice was all I needed to receive the guidance . The Course(in Miracles) teaches that with the slightest willingness you will receive guidance from you inner guide. Our relationship with our~ing is like having a mentor or teacher. The ~ing's sole purpose is to guide us back to love."
And THAT my fellow NEW AGE NERDS is what this post is really all about! LOVE!
And remembering to always stay in a state of non-resistance to your very own birthright. Which is limitless and BLISS filled abundance in every conceivable form. WISDOM, PEACE, JOY, LIGHT, COMPASSION, and LOVE! Which when added up together, form the ultimate emotion of pure BLISS! The piece de resistance of the Universe!
I often hear others discussing the meaning of RESISTANCE. And rightfully so. For it is a crucial part of the Universal equation toward our constant connection to The Grand Creator.
My belief is that anytime you are in a Mind-Set with even pinches of spiritual filled emotions of self doubt/worthlessness, fear/worry, anxiety, limiting beliefs, and/or blocks of self love, you are aligned with the EGOIC Mind. And completely cutting off the natural FLOW of abundance that is seeking to express itself through and AS YOU! YOUR SUPER HEROIC HIGHER SELF! And albeit insidiously slowly, depression and despair slowly find their spiritual based pleasure within your psyche. You feel as though everything in life is happening TO YOU; rather than FOR YOU! Which is the secret spiritual sauce toward a life filled with unadulterated BLISS! As you begin to feel as though you are somehow separate from SOURCE. The guiding light of creative energy and the very place your SOUL calls home!
For when you truly in a vibration of ALLOWANCE, when life's torrential down pours have brought you down to your nightly knees, it is actually the greatest opportunity for you to have the Courage and Faith to Break Open! And TRUST me when I tell you I speak from personal experience! The process of surrendering to Spirit and allowing yourself to completely Break Open is perhaps the most transcendent of experiences that the Universe provides us in this dense realm! For when we lean into this experience with all our heart and soul, the only thing that pours out of us is the willingness to love ourselves and others! I'm not saying it's a painless experience, but nothing worth while ever is on this side of SOURCE!!
Yet, if you are HERE, NOW on this planet, please know it is because you have a very important role to play on this stage called life! You had the spiritual fortitude to answer the beacon call for creating heaven on Earth! A job for only the best and bravest soul's traversing the multi-verse! SUPERHEROES who run toward, not away from the greatest of challenges that arise throughout the cosmos! You've been TAGGED IT by GOD!
And through this process of 'Breaking Open' to our authentic selves, we find that on the other side is what I call Blissful Boosts! It's a process. It doesn't happen overnight, but trust me when I say that IT DOES INDEED OCCUR! For as soon as you make that shift from Fear (EGO) to LOVE, MIRACLES begin to flood into your daily existence. And life begins to take on a feeling of MAGIC! People who are in a similar energetic pattern begin to seemingly appear out of thin air! New business opportunities show up as we take daily action steps toward what we desire. And this experience we call life no longer feels like a daily slog! Rather, it becomes a daily opportunity to experience pure BLISS! And sharing that feeling with the World! After all, isn't that what we are all seeking...
Nerdmaste,
BE SUPER HEROIC!
BE LOVE - SERVE ALL - INSPIRE ALWAYS
And if this is the direction in which our life has taken us, oh too many surrender to our Ego and look for a way out of our PAIN!
Yet, if we just have the courage to SURRENDER to our authentic self in the form of our Divine connection to SOURCE energy, we can begin to rebuild our lives. All with Divine Purpose. As we begin the process of finding our true CALLING! For while I DO NOT believe in ABSOLUTES, through 25 years of personal self actualization, we often hit a time period of ROCK BOTTOM that coincides with our unique Break Open!
To quote Gabrielle Bernstein from her transformative memoir SPIRIT JUNKIE, "Hitting bottom and surrendering was the best thing that ever happened to me. It cracked me open and led me to hear the voice of my ~ing again. The willingness to hear this voice was all I needed to receive the guidance . The Course(in Miracles) teaches that with the slightest willingness you will receive guidance from you inner guide. Our relationship with our~ing is like having a mentor or teacher. The ~ing's sole purpose is to guide us back to love."
And THAT my fellow NEW AGE NERDS is what this post is really all about! LOVE!
And remembering to always stay in a state of non-resistance to your very own birthright. Which is limitless and BLISS filled abundance in every conceivable form. WISDOM, PEACE, JOY, LIGHT, COMPASSION, and LOVE! Which when added up together, form the ultimate emotion of pure BLISS! The piece de resistance of the Universe!
I often hear others discussing the meaning of RESISTANCE. And rightfully so. For it is a crucial part of the Universal equation toward our constant connection to The Grand Creator.
My belief is that anytime you are in a Mind-Set with even pinches of spiritual filled emotions of self doubt/worthlessness, fear/worry, anxiety, limiting beliefs, and/or blocks of self love, you are aligned with the EGOIC Mind. And completely cutting off the natural FLOW of abundance that is seeking to express itself through and AS YOU! YOUR SUPER HEROIC HIGHER SELF! And albeit insidiously slowly, depression and despair slowly find their spiritual based pleasure within your psyche. You feel as though everything in life is happening TO YOU; rather than FOR YOU! Which is the secret spiritual sauce toward a life filled with unadulterated BLISS! As you begin to feel as though you are somehow separate from SOURCE. The guiding light of creative energy and the very place your SOUL calls home!
For when you truly in a vibration of ALLOWANCE, when life's torrential down pours have brought you down to your nightly knees, it is actually the greatest opportunity for you to have the Courage and Faith to Break Open! And TRUST me when I tell you I speak from personal experience! The process of surrendering to Spirit and allowing yourself to completely Break Open is perhaps the most transcendent of experiences that the Universe provides us in this dense realm! For when we lean into this experience with all our heart and soul, the only thing that pours out of us is the willingness to love ourselves and others! I'm not saying it's a painless experience, but nothing worth while ever is on this side of SOURCE!!
Yet, if you are HERE, NOW on this planet, please know it is because you have a very important role to play on this stage called life! You had the spiritual fortitude to answer the beacon call for creating heaven on Earth! A job for only the best and bravest soul's traversing the multi-verse! SUPERHEROES who run toward, not away from the greatest of challenges that arise throughout the cosmos! You've been TAGGED IT by GOD!
Fast forward to watching the 2019 Golden Globe Awards. Near the middle of the program, the customary Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award went to the great and very deserved Jeff Bridges! And during his exceptional acceptance speech, he began to tell a story about Being Tagged IT by life. I would like to share it in full:
"One of the great, great Directors I was lucky enough to work for was the late great Michael Cimino. I can remember going into his office before the first day of filming and saying, "Mike, man, I think you have made a terrible mistake. I'm not feeling this guy (his character) at all. I feel so inadaquate. I feel bad because I'm giving you such late notice. But please fire me." And Michael looked at me and said, "Jeff, you know that game TAG. Well, YOU'RE IT!" I said, 'What do you mean, I'm It?' And he said, "You are the guy. You couldn't make a mistake if you wanted to. The life of this character is coming through you. It's a done deal." I thought, that is a wonderful vote of confidence and a great new perspective to look at this thing. And I used that in the film and use it now in all the other movies I've gotten, as well as in my life. I've BEEN TAGGED! I guess we all have been TAGGED. We're alive! Ya know what I'm saying. I look at my life through the filter of movies. I find directors and fellow actors all over the place in my life and one guy, he had nothing to do with the movies, but I have taken a lot of direction from him. His name is Bucky Fuller. Bucky made this great observation about these ocean going tankers. He noticed the engineers were particularly challenged by how to turn these things. They have this big rudder that took too much energy to turn the ship. So they came up with a brilliant idea. Lets put a litter rudder on the big rudder. The little rudder will turn the big rudder. The big rudder will turn the ship. That little rudder is called a Trim Tab. And Bucky made the analogy that the Trim Tab is an example of how the individual is connected to society and how we affect society. And I like to think of myself as a Trim Tab. And ALL of us are Trim Tabs! We may seem like we are not up to the task. But we are, man, WE ARE ALIVE! We can really make a difference. We can turn this ship in the way we want to go. TOWARDS LOVE! Creating a healthy planet for all of us. So, I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press for TAGGING me. And I want to TAG you all! You're all Trim Tabs! TAG, YOU'RE IT!"
Do any of you reading have what I call GODBUMPS? I sure did and still do! And Mr. Bridges story is so poignantly powerful. Every single one of us is here NOW because we have been TAGGED by the Universe. We are all SUPERHEROES on a Journey with a unique, divinely devised Calling that absolutely No One can fulfill but...... Y...O...U! You are that special, that amazing, and the God Given Gifts that have been bestowed upon you for this grand adventure are desperately needed by the World; RIGHT NOW! No more excuses. NAP TIME IS OVER! It's time to fully awaken into your Divinity.
Just like my own personal story about being TAGGED, I'm not professing that the Journey will be easy. Life isn't meant to be easy. It's meant to be meaningful. And transformative. You will be asked to face your fears and undoubtedly will be gobsmacked down to the mat more than once! Just as I was that summer night over 25 years ago. But PLEASE do not let that stop you from answering the 'Soulful Ringtone' that is trying to awaken you to your calling. Bless that sound in every form it arrives within your experience. Be it in the next song you hear, or the next blog (wink) or book you read. That music is just your own Soul seeking back it's dance partner. Remember, you are not doing any of this alone. Within each of you is a Super Heroic Higher Self! Don't be afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone and pealing off the Illusionary Veil of a former self that no longer serves you. As scary as I know that can be.
What if I told you that everything that has ever rested deep within your heartfelt desires is awaiting you on the other side of all your fears, self doubt, and pain? Would that give you the courageous push to finally Ignite your Super Heroic Higher Self and start living from that New Illusionless Identity?
And in addition, the byproduct of transforming into this Miracle Makin' Machine was nothing less than widening the flow of LOVE, WISDOM, COMPASSION, and Joy back into the World! Being in Loving Service to all while wielding your own set of Super Powers. As Mr. Bridges said, we are all 'Trim Tabs!' And there is no more time to waste.......
And through this process of 'Breaking Open' to our authentic selves, we find that on the other side is what I call Blissful Boosts! It's a process. It doesn't happen overnight, but trust me when I say that IT DOES INDEED OCCUR! For as soon as you make that shift from Fear (EGO) to LOVE, MIRACLES begin to flood into your daily existence. And life begins to take on a feeling of MAGIC! People who are in a similar energetic pattern begin to seemingly appear out of thin air! New business opportunities show up as we take daily action steps toward what we desire. And this experience we call life no longer feels like a daily slog! Rather, it becomes a daily opportunity to experience pure BLISS! And sharing that feeling with the World! After all, isn't that what we are all seeking...
Nerdmaste,
BE SUPER HEROIC!
BE LOVE - SERVE ALL - INSPIRE ALWAYS
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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