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In a recent post, I wrote about the gift of receiving a DO OVER from the Universe. If you haven't had the chance to read it as of yet, I suggest doing so before continuing with today's entry. (Just type in Do Over in the search bar) Typically, the reason we are given these opportunities is to learn from our ‘mistakes’ so that we can move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and understanding. However, for many of us, we are forced to face a series of DO OVERS that could have been superceded had we not been so wary of making the same ‘mistakes’ over again. It can paralyze us with fear and anxiety. Stop us cold in our tracks from making authentic choices with the limiting beliefs that we are somehow JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH to make better choices this time around.
Life is just too damn short New Age Nerds. No sense spending too much of it in a vortex of resimulating patterns of similar circumstances and experiences. Until we finally receive the understanding and re-membrance they were presented for us to grasp . I have seen too many precious SOULS with so much potential who waste great periods of their life paralyzed with fear and worry. Too afraid they may make a ‘mistake’ and screw things up, yet again, rather than transcending their past actions as no thing less than MISSTEPS along their Journey.
So for any of you who find yourself often taking the SHAME TRAIN, I wanted to offer some important distinctions between MISSTEPS and MISTAKES. And their corresponding relationship to GUILT and SHAME. So that the next time such pain and anguish flood your heart, you will be able to move through them with more GRACE. Eventually leading back to your true essence of perfection which deserves your unconditional Self-Love.
A MISSTEP is simply any form of action (thought, word, or deed) that gives us constructive FEEDBACK -NOT FAILURE - from the Universe. You haven't done anything wrong. You only did the very best you knew how in that precise moment. Given the options you had to choose from combined with your level of awakened consciousness. SO RELAX, because that is precisely how we evolve, learn, and grow. Precisely why we are here. So pat yourSELF on the back after your next MISSTEP! In fact many MISSTEPS are unavoidable because we have never been in that particular set of circumstances before. And it is proof positive that you moved past your fear and gave something new a TRY! As the saying goes, “Life is 10% what happens, and 90% the way we show up in its wake to handle it.”
MISSTEPS carry along with them a vibrational energetic offering of guilt. And guilt is a very empowering tool. And a "powerful professor." Guilt is about what you did. Let's face it, we all make miscues, blunders, and oops a daisies of all shapes and sizes as we navigate through our daily Hero's/Heroine's Journey. And most all of them are blessings in disguise. Giving us greater insight into how to engage the same situations the next time they arise with a deeper form of care and compassion. And guilt can be a wonderful tool to help us uncover the growth that is needed to engage these moments when we get a ‘do over’ of similar events in our lives. And you will often get a do over. The Universe is a never ending "pitching machine." It will keep throwing you as many balls to "swing" at as you desire. So keep swinging for those fences until you knock one out of the ball park. HOME RUN! Yeah!
When we use the pain of guilt to try and learn and move forward through the past events that have occurred, we are what I call ‘painting with emotions’ on the canvas of our life. In other words, constructively using our emotions as they were always meant to serve us. I believe your best teacher is your last MISSTEP! If you take the time to listen, and learn from what it taught you!
MISTAKES on the other hand are a complete misnomer! They DO NOT exist. That's right. You heard me! And it's a damn good thing. Because believing in the illusion of a MISTAKE may very well be the most soul crushing motif imaginable. Thinking you made a MISTAKE causes an energetic vibrational offering of SHAME. And SHAME equates to "I AM what I did(thought, said)." Carl Jung said, “ Shame is a soul eating emotion.” And when it shows up full force, each nibble it consumes becomes an agonizing exercise in self abuse. This nasty and subversive feeling dictates and morphs our personal beliefs about our own self worth as a result of the actions we have committed. It emphasizes what we erroneously think is WRONG with ourselves. And the longer we stay in this incredibly painful vibration, the more we move away from the core truth about who we really are; pure perfection and absolute LOVE.
Multi-time best selling author and teacher Brene Brown is the authority on the destructive forces of SHAME. In fact, she has devoted much of her life's work on researching and teaching us all how to transcend the devilish emotions of SHAME. Here are some of her very memorable quips on the subject:
Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.
We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous.
Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging.
We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame.
For me, vulnerability led to anxiety, which led to shame, which led to disconnection, which led to Bud Light.
Taken from Christie Inge (please take the chance to visit her blog of the same name)Brown stresses in her teachings that SHAME, especially for woman "is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we’re supposed to be. And it’s a straight-jacket." And that EMPATHY toward ourSELVES is the most powerful pill to counteract it's devastating effects. She believes empathy is linked directly towards our ability to be raw and vulnerable with each other and especially ourSELVES. In a head strong statement during a fabulous TED talk (highly suggest you listen to her speech "Listening to Shame" on YouTube) she expresses "The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too. If we’re going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path. And I know it’s seductive to stand outside the arena, because I think I did it my whole life, and think to myself, I’m going to go in there and kick some ass when I’m bulletproof and when I’m perfect. And that is seductive. But the truth is that never happens. And even if you got as perfect as you could and as bulletproof as you could possibly muster when you got in there, that’s not what we want to see. We want you to go in. We want to be with you and across from you. And we just want, for ourselves and the people we care about and the people we work with, to dare greatly." And daring greatly is the golden key to unlocking your SUPER HEROIC HIGHER SELF!
It's your small cracks and dents that others will relate to. Not a perfect shiny persona that hides all the scars that prove you have weathered many storms and still live to tell those tales! For YOUR story matters. Never, and I mean NEVER be ashamed of any of it! It molded and forged you into the gorgeous, one of a kind creature that now stands before us all. Meant to inspire the world with your truth and hard fought wisdom. Now, forever cloaked with the charismatic colors from one of Heaven's secret gardens. In all of God's GLORY! And you have earned every single radiant, blissful blast of light that now shines ever so brightly from your beautiful BEING! So own it! :0)
But we live in a society that demands perfection. I recently had a rundown of my Godson's nightly homework assignments (He is only 13) and I needed a drink just to contemplate how such a young lad could handle such a massive amount of information! Aye dios mio! We are taught at a young age the importance of ‘being right and bright’ and social media has made it critical for us to show the world a persona sans any signs of imperfection!
I suggest we all start committing toward's a life of daily progress, instead of perfection.
I believe that would hasten the train tracks so many of us are taking straight to "The Shame Game" every day. Don't you?! Simply choose to always do your best. Because your best will ALWAYS be enough.
The next time you feel yourSELF bubbling up with feelings of SHAME, simply re-member that YOU and God are ONE! And The Grand Creator herSELF is pure, powerful, and absolutely perfect. There is absolutely no space for SHAME being a part of the ONE GOD MIND! Wallah..... Now how does THAT make you feel..... ;0)
SUPERHEROES IN TRAINING TAKEAWAYS:
The ONE big distinction between GUILT and SHAME is that guilt is about ‘what I did.’ While shame deals in the feelings and beliefs about ‘who you are as a result of what you did’. As in, "I AM what I did." (said, thought) See the gi-normous difference? Hope so!
As the great master teacher Yoda says, “If no (missteps) are you making, another game should you be playing.” And he is so right! In fact, most of the world's great visionaries used this reframing of mistakes to their great advantage. Take Thomas Edison for instance. He tried to make that bulb in his office light oh so bright through electricity over 2,000 different times. Yet, he refused to ever say he made a mistake. Instead, he transcended these attempts as missteps; each one actually a revolutionary success. Because each time the bulb failed to light, he knew he had discovered a way that electricity would NOT WORK! How many of us would have gotten frustrated, embarrased, or fearful that we would have never succeeded in this chosen endeavor if we were in his set of DO OVERS? Ok, I see some hands up and I feel ya! lol
That's exactly what a friend did for me earlier this week. And the result has been no thing short of a Harry Potter worthy magic miracle! By him being kind and vulnerable enough to share his current Journey, he further cemented within me the KNOWINGNESS of my own SUPER HEROIC HIGHER SELF. And at the end of our chat, he shared with me that in his vulnerability, a great deal of his shame had been lifted. He was even gifted by Spirit with a new game plan for how to move forward in a greater sense of peace in his current challenged relationship!
Remember The New Age Nerd's definition of a sin is to suffer without meaning. When we use our suffering to first learn and grow ourselves, and then bring that deeper insight and understanding back to others from a place of service, we are living out our true Hero's/Heroine's Journey whether we realize it or not!
So please re-member in the times when you are engaging the often confusing and destructive emotion of SHAME, you are seen by the Universe as pure LOVE and the brightest of Light. If you find yourself super challenged to hold that space for yourself, seek out your ‘Search and Rescue’ team. And if you don't yet have one, start NOW. Get a blank notecard and write down a list of a few select Souls who have proven themselves as trust worthy in your life. Individuals who will follow you into the darkness of the night, and pull you back into the light. Give one of them a call and lean into their FAITH in you until you can hold it for yourself. Better yet, hire a coach. It's our job to be a "Space Holder!"
And no matter what may have transpired in your past, it will NEVER change the fact that you are held as a magical miracle in this world always and in all ways!
Please do not be one of the "Special Spirits" who came here to bring their magnificent talents and gifts to share with the world only to become stifled from fear of making a MISTAKE along your Journey. Instead, remember MISSTEPS are not only allowed, but essential for your learning process! For you are a perfect emanation of God and as long as you stay aware, he will guide your MISSTEPS into the Re-membrace of why you came and the BLISS you are here to share!
BE SUPER HEROIC!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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