MODERN MYTH MAGIC: ADAPTATION....!

 

Charlie Kaufman:"There was this time in High School. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh."
Donald Kaufman: "Oh God, I was so in love with her."
Charlie Kaufman: "I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you."
Donald Kaufman: "I remember that."
Charlie Kaufman: "Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at me. You didn’t know at all.  You seemed so happy."
Donald Kaufman: "I knew. I heard them."
Charlie Kaufman: "How come you looked so happy?"
Donald Kaufman: "I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn’t have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want."
Charlie Kaufman: "But she thought you were pathetic."
Donald Kaufman: "That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That’s what I decided a long time ago."

FROM: ADAPTATION 🎞

Please take a moment and let that Sink In! You are what you ❤️ LOVE, Not what Loves you in return.....🙌🏻   Our world is in such need of Truth Seekers, Bringers of the Light, and Superheroes with the convictions of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! So even if you feel your wings are broken, or if your heart has been ripped apart by betrayal and loss, please NEVER give up on extending yourself toward others. Honesty, kindness, respect! There simply are not enough of these Superpowers being displayed and put into action! 

And never be ashamed to flood this World with all the varied ways in which LOVE can be unleashed.  Manners never yet witnessed by all the special spirits who are here, now - as well as the billions of angels throughout the Cosmos who check up on us all from time to time! After all, there has never been 'another you.'  Despite the billions of special spirits who have graced our planet, not one of them has your toothy grin; creating that dazzling smile that illuminates every room fortunate enough to have shared space with you!  Not to mention the memories now forever etched in oh so many who still bask in glorious glee because of how deeply you made them laugh! Or the shallowed moments in which your gentle touch eased the pain of a pet about to make their earthly transition. Or the amazement of your Spirit Guides, who have witnessed, time after time, the precarious precipice in which you had the courage to choose LOVE over FEAR in times of suffering from abandonment or painful judgment from those you still consider friends. And the open, forgiving heart you carry as majestically as Wonder Woman carries her 'Lasso of Truth.'

You are a unique emanation of a GOD who is limitless in all ways. And thus only YOU have been bestown with the creativity to expand the LOVE within your heart to create miracles of all shapes and sizes. All within a framework for many - or perhaps just a single soul- to grasp as a pathway for all the prayers that many always thought went unheard. So never underestimate the power you wield to change the trajectory of another's path from pain to power. Often, simply through utterances filled with compliments and declarations of how you see them in their full grace and glory! Especially when they have fully forgotten how spectacularly special they are and the reverence with which they are being held within the arms of a million angels always standing by their side......

In the fleeting final moments of 2021, please commit to being a Disruptive Force. Be Disruptive in the way you LOVE yourself and others! Be Disruptive in extending random acts of kindness and compassion! Be Disruptive in showing others the light from your Inner Superhero, thus giving them permission to shine THEIRS!  And be Disruptive in showing this world a form of Loving Service to all; the likes of which it has never witnessed before  ....

The followers of my blog know I truly believe that we are all SUPERHEROES. Yet I am often challenged with this declaration which actually energizes me. Because it allows me to fully flesh out and clarify my musings on what I declare as TRUTH....

The origin term HEROES comes from the Greek. HEROES meaning many. As in, that which I do for you, I do for mySELF. Inversely, that which I do for mySELF, I do for all others. 

It was later changed to the singular HERO in Latin. Simply put: TO BE OF SERVICE

And as far as I'm concerned ...As simple as it may appear......  THAT IS THE SECRET TO LIFE....

And to those of you who choose to challenge such a short rumination on the answer to the 'Meaning of Life," I understand. All that I ask of you, is to put that declaration into your daily routine. And then step back and watch the MIRACLES begin to flood your very existence. 

Because as long as your thoughts, words, and deeds are in congruence with this singular intention of being of service, filled with LOVE, I have complete FAITH in the experiences I KNOW will flood into your life. 

Day by day is the way they say to live....
One step at a time 
Until the mind's music...
Find's its rhythm and rhyme.....

Pull yourself up from your bootstraps.....
But what if your straps are no longer there...
Worn down from the disillusioned moments...
That often causes one not to care....

Every mirror shows me a reflection....
I often wish not to see...
For it causes me to face my TRUTH....
And my Soul's inner reality....

If I'm meant to be a guide...
A Steward of Remembrance toward other's paths
Then why does it now often seem...
That perhaps in another role I should have been cast....

A mountain stands before me....
One I am reticent to climb....
For I know the pain its crevices will find....
Deep within my Soul's fragile shine.....

But there are ethereal signs...
That this Journey will lead toward salvation..
That give me Hope and Strength....
To stay the treacherous course despite outward temptation....

So I daily forge ahead....progress top of mind....
Although setbacks do befall me.....
I simply pass them by.....
For my heart's goal is to be set free...

At times I am completely amazed...
As I find a trove of treasures along the way....
Gifts sent from Heaven...
That ease my core confusion and curb the constant sway...

The path toward peace and joy...
Still lies far above....which is completely fine
For a winged angel appears to remind me...
The gift toward eternal Glory is NOT a straight line....

It takes more than courage to forge through our Truth...
Thus Faith was created by His Heavenly touch.....
To be used as a staff of pure conviction..
When the burden seems to be just too much...

Silent whispers can be heard all around....
So many spirit guides wishing to aide...
For a CALLING I have yet to fulfill...
The very reason that I was made......

To give up now would be a blow to a Universal plan....
Which is to create and fill this world with LOVE and Light....
So the darkness about to overcome us...
Could not do so without a Heavenly fight....

I write a promise in the rocks as I continue to climb...
That no matter the circumstances that may cause me to frown....
Continuing to fight through the forces of my internal darkness...
Is my Hero's Journey, and my Soul Tribe I will never let down....

by Jeffrey Louis Martinez

For always remember the following proverb....   

BY FORGOING SELF....  THE UNIVERSE GROWS I  .......

BE SUPER HEROIC!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

How To Transform Your SHAME Into Self LOVE.......

______________________________________________

In a recent post, I wrote about the gift of receiving a DO OVER from the Universe.  If you haven't had the chance to read it as of yet, I suggest doing so before continuing with today's entry. (Just type in Do Over in the search bar) Typically, the reason we are given these opportunities is to learn from our ‘mistakes’ so that we can move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and understanding.  However, for many of us, we are forced to face a series of DO OVERS that could have been superceded had we not been so wary of making the same ‘mistakes’ over again.  It can paralyze us with fear and anxiety.  Stop us cold in our tracks from making authentic choices with the limiting beliefs that we are somehow JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH to make better choices this time around.  

Life is just too damn short New Age Nerds.  No sense spending too much of it in a vortex of resimulating patterns of similar circumstances and experiences.   Until we finally receive the understanding and re-membrance they were presented for us to grasp . I have seen too many precious SOULS with so much potential who waste great periods of their life paralyzed with fear and worry. Too afraid they may make a ‘mistake’ and screw things up, yet again, rather than transcending their past actions as no thing less than MISSTEPS along their Journey.



So for any of you who find yourself often taking the SHAME TRAIN, I wanted to offer some important distinctions between MISSTEPS and MISTAKES. And their corresponding relationship to GUILT and SHAME.  So that the next time such pain and anguish flood your heart, you will be able to move through them with more GRACE.   Eventually leading back to your true essence of perfection which deserves your unconditional Self-Love.  

So what exactly is the difference between a MISTAKE and a MISSTEP? Glad you asked. 

A MISSTEP is simply any form of action (thought, word, or deed) that gives us constructive FEEDBACK -NOT FAILURE - from the Universe. You haven't done anything wrong. You only did the very best you knew how in that precise moment. Given the options you had to choose from combined with your level of awakened consciousness. SO RELAX, because that is precisely how we evolve, learn, and grow.  Precisely why we are here. So pat yourSELF on the back after your next MISSTEP!  In fact many MISSTEPS are unavoidable because we have never been in that particular set of circumstances before. And it is proof positive that you moved past your fear and gave something new a TRY! As the saying goes, “Life is 10% what happens, and 90% the way we show up in its wake to handle it.”  

MISSTEPS carry along with them a vibrational energetic offering of guilt.  And guilt is a very empowering tool.  And a "powerful professor." Guilt is about what you did. Let's face it, we all make miscues, blunders, and oops a daisies of all shapes and sizes as we navigate through our daily Hero's/Heroine's Journey.  And most all of them are blessings in disguise.  Giving us greater insight into how to engage the same situations the next time they arise with a deeper form of care and compassion.  And guilt can be a wonderful tool to help us uncover the growth that is needed to engage these moments when we get a ‘do over’ of similar events in our lives. And you will often get a do over.  The Universe is a never ending "pitching machine." It will keep throwing you as many balls to "swing" at as you desire.  So keep swinging for those fences until you knock one out of the ball park.  HOME RUN! Yeah!  

When we use the pain of guilt to try and learn and move forward through the past events that have occurred, we are what I call ‘painting with emotions’ on the canvas of our life.  In other words, constructively using our emotions as they were always meant to serve us. I believe your best teacher is your last MISSTEP!  If you take the time to listen, and learn from what it taught you!

MISTAKES on the other hand are a complete misnomer! They DO NOT exist. That's right.  You heard me!  And it's a damn good thing. Because believing in the illusion of a MISTAKE may very well be the most soul crushing motif imaginable. Thinking you made a MISTAKE causes an energetic vibrational offering of SHAME.  And SHAME equates to "I AM what I did(thought, said)." Carl Jung said, “ Shame is a soul eating emotion.” And when it shows up full force, each nibble it consumes becomes an agonizing exercise in self abuse.  This nasty and subversive feeling dictates and morphs our personal beliefs about our own self worth as a result of the actions we have committed.  It emphasizes what we erroneously think is WRONG with ourselves. And the longer we stay in this incredibly painful vibration, the more we move away from the core truth about who we really are;  pure perfection and absolute LOVE.

Multi-time best selling author and teacher Brene Brown is the authority on the destructive forces of SHAME. In fact, she has devoted much of her life's work on researching and teaching us all how to transcend the devilish emotions of SHAME. Here are some of her very memorable quips on the subject:

Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.

---

We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous.

---

Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging.

---

We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame.

---

For me, vulnerability led to anxiety, which led to shame, which led to disconnection, which led to Bud Light.

Taken from Christie Inge (please take the chance to visit her blog of the same name)


Brown stresses in her teachings that SHAME, especially for woman "is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we’re supposed to be. And it’s a straight-jacket."  And that EMPATHY toward ourSELVES is the most powerful pill to counteract it's devastating effects. She believes empathy is linked directly towards our ability to be raw and vulnerable with each other and especially ourSELVES.  In a head strong statement during a fabulous TED talk (highly suggest you listen to her speech "Listening to Shame" on YouTube) she expresses "The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too. If we’re going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path. And I know it’s seductive to stand outside the arena, because I think I did it my whole life, and think to myself, I’m going to go in there and kick some ass when I’m bulletproof and when I’m perfect. And that is seductive. But the truth is that never happens. And even if you got as perfect as you could and as bulletproof as you could possibly muster when you got in there, that’s not what we want to see. We want you to go in. We want to be with you and across from you. And we just want, for ourselves and the people we care about and the people we work with, to dare greatly."  And daring greatly is the golden key to unlocking your SUPER HEROIC HIGHER SELF! 

It's your small cracks and dents that others will relate to.  Not a perfect shiny persona that hides all the scars that prove you have weathered many storms and still live to tell those tales! For YOUR story matters.  Never, and I mean NEVER be ashamed of any of it!  It molded and forged you into the gorgeous, one of a kind creature that now stands before us all. Meant to inspire the world with your truth and hard fought wisdom. Now, forever cloaked with the charismatic colors from one of Heaven's secret gardens. In all of God's GLORY! And you have earned every single radiant, blissful blast of light that now shines ever so brightly from your beautiful BEING! So own it! :0)

But we live in a society that demands perfection. I recently had a rundown of my Godson's nightly homework assignments (He is only 13) and I needed a drink just to contemplate how such a young lad could handle such a massive amount of information! Aye dios mio! We are taught at a young age the importance of ‘being right and bright’ and social media has made it critical for us to show the world a persona sans any signs of imperfection!  

I suggest we all start committing toward's a life of daily progress, instead of perfection.
I believe that would hasten the train tracks so many of us are taking straight to "The Shame Game" every day. Don't you?! Simply choose to always do your best. Because your best will ALWAYS be enough. 

The next time you feel yourSELF bubbling up with feelings of SHAME, simply re-member that YOU and God are ONE!  And The Grand Creator herSELF is pure, powerful, and absolutely perfect.  There is absolutely no space for SHAME being a part of the ONE GOD MIND! Wallah.....  Now how does THAT make you feel.....    ;0)


SUPERHEROES IN TRAINING TAKEAWAYS:



The ONE big distinction between GUILT and SHAME is that guilt is about ‘what I did.’ While shame deals in the feelings and beliefs about ‘who you are as a result of what you did’.  As in, "I AM what I did." (said, thought)  See the gi-normous difference? Hope so!

As the great master teacher Yoda says, “If no (missteps) are you making, another game should you be playing.” And he is so right!  In fact, most of the world's great visionaries used this reframing of mistakes to their great advantage.  Take Thomas Edison for instance.  He tried to make that bulb in his office light oh so bright through electricity over 2,000 different times. Yet, he refused to ever say he made a mistake. Instead, he transcended these attempts as missteps; each one actually a revolutionary success. Because each time the bulb failed to light, he knew he had discovered a way that electricity would NOT WORK!  How many of us would have gotten frustrated, embarrased, or fearful that we would have never succeeded in this chosen endeavor if we were in his set of DO OVERS? Ok, I see some hands up and I feel ya! lol

So what can you do when you find yourself somehow being triggered by the dysfunctionally seductive force of such SHAME? One of the most magical elixirs is to BE THE SOURCE of assisting others in re-membering who they really are when they are feeling the same way. Perhaps the most valuable gift we can ever offer another is our raw vulnerability.  As Brene Brown writes, “When we deny our stories, they define us.  When we own our stories we get to write the ending.”  And by sharing our stories, infused with compassionate vulnerability with others, the end byproduct can be a support line to remind YOURSELF that you have wings when you've forgotten how high you can fly.  By daring greatly in this manner, you can slay the dragon of shame for both parties on the Love Line!

That's exactly what a friend did for me earlier this week.  And the result has been no thing short of a Harry Potter worthy magic miracle!  By him being kind and vulnerable enough to share his current Journey, he further cemented within me the KNOWINGNESS of my own SUPER HEROIC HIGHER SELF.  And at the end of our chat, he shared with me that in his vulnerability, a great deal of his shame had been lifted. He was even gifted by Spirit with a new game plan for how to move forward in a greater sense of peace in his current challenged relationship!  

Remember The New Age Nerd's definition of a sin is to suffer without meaning.  When we use our suffering to first learn and grow ourselves, and then bring that deeper insight and understanding back to others from a place of service, we are living out our true Hero's/Heroine's Journey whether we realize it or not!

So please re-member in the times when you are engaging the often confusing and  destructive emotion of SHAME, you are seen by the Universe as pure LOVE and the brightest of Light.  If you find yourself super challenged to hold that space for yourself, seek out your ‘Search and Rescue’ team. And if you don't yet have one, start NOW.  Get a blank notecard and write down a list of a few select Souls who have proven themselves as trust worthy in your life.  Individuals who will follow you into the darkness of the night, and pull you back into the light.  Give one of them a call and lean into their FAITH in you until you can hold it for yourself.  Better yet, hire a coach. It's our job to be a "Space Holder!"


And no matter what may have transpired in your past, it will NEVER change the fact that you are held as a magical miracle in this world always and in all ways! 

What pains my own Soul is the thought of how many great works of art, poems, paintings, songs, architecture, books, businesses, children, and relationships NEVER came to be because of those individuals whose fear of making a mistake kept them from ever completing their own Hero's/Heroine's Journey!  It's absolutely maddening to contemplate!  If only they could have had the understanding to transcend any perceived MISTAKE as simply a MISSTEP on their path to soulful fulfillment. 

Please do not be one of the "Special Spirits" who came here to bring their magnificent talents and gifts to share with the world only to become stifled from fear of making a MISTAKE along your Journey.  Instead, remember MISSTEPS are not only allowed, but essential for your learning process!   For you are a perfect emanation of God and as long as you stay aware, he will guide your MISSTEPS into the Re-membrace of why you came and the BLISS you are here to share!



BE SUPER HEROIC!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

MODERN MYTH MESSAGES.... Mr. Holland's Opus..!

 

From Buena Vista Pictures: MR. HOLLAND'S OPUS

Back in Portland, Oregon circa 1965, the classically trained and talented music composer, Glenn Holland, decides to temporarily forgo his own artistically merited dreams and aspirations.  All so he can spend more time with his wife and deaf son. He reluctantly decides to accept a music teaching position at John F. Kennedy High School. All the while toiling, behind many soulful scenes, attempting to create a profound orchestrated musical "Opus" that would be left behind as his own lasting legacy.

During the next 30 years as a music instructor and teacher, he unexpectedly unearths his own life's true CALLING!  Not anything he could have ever pre-planned, but something even greater than the life he always longed for.

Now forced into early retirement due to artistic budget cuts, Mr. Holland enters the music auditorium he called home for 30 years, for the very last time. But what he receives on this day is overwhelming and overtly, emotionally stirring, brewing with the TRUTH behind each of our own life's Super Hero's Journey!


Gertrude Lang: (Mr. Holland's former student, now the Governor of Oregon, takes the stage full of Mr. Holland's former students)  Mr. Holland had a profound influence on my life and a lot of other lives I know. But I have a feeling that he considers a part of his own life misspent. Rumor had it he was always working on this symphony of his. And this was going to make him rich, famous, probably both. But Mr. Holland isn't rich, or famous, at least not outside of our little town. 

So it might be easy for him to think himself a failure. But he would be wrong, because I think he has achieved a success FAR beyond riches and fame. Look around you. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you.
We are your symphony, Mr. Holland. We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. 

WE'RE THE MUSIC OF YOUR LIFE!

Mr. Holland's Orchestral piece, never performed in public, has been tastefully placed upon over a hundred of his former student's musical stands from the past 30 years; who are now willing and ready to perform for their own SUPERHERO up on center stage! Before they begin to play his own piece of orchestrated lifelong LOVE, they invite him up on stage to conduct his very own "Life's Opus" for an adoring crowd.

All of life itself is a grand, orchestrated series of musical notes! Written in the stars by a GOD who never skips a beat! Each and every day, we are creating our own Lasting Legacy through the musicality of our thoughts, words, and deeds. That's precisely why every generation's imprint on the fabric of the Universal tapestry that eventually unfolds the TRUTH of the state of our collective consciousness is so priceless! Please Re-member that you can always hide one's true nature from yourSELF, but NEVER from the One God Mind herSELF! Try as you like, it's pure fodder for those Spirits who still believe spiritual fragmentation serves anyone still dazed and confused by the egoic illusion and allure of separation! 

And the more you ponder this Universal Law, the more your so called "Missteps,"  transform into the much needed back beats that although mostly unheralded, always become the relied upon benchmark that awakens you; actually enlightens you to the understanding that it's the most challenging of your own life's trials and tribulations that offers the greatest opportunity for "Soul Filled" growth! And as Mr. Holland discovered, we must often leave behind the life we planned for, so that we may live the grander life that has always been awaiting us! 

The greatest masters of spirituality have always taught it is through life's greatest PAIN, that you have the most to GAIN! And everlasting soul filled prosperity can only be gained through the chambers of Collective Consciousness. The realm of eternity, that while never judges another's Journey,  also totes a time travelled wisdom that always offers a perfectly "orchestrated" understanding in course correction toward the Holy Grail of every Hero/Heroine's Journey!

That being the completion of our individual life's CALLING, combined with the re-membrance of the eternal growth and wisdom that always accompanies the core completion of our own " Musical Opus," to be everlastingly heard through the brightest of GOD's Universal Musical Playmakers amongst the stars! 

What would it look like to start living your life in a manner in which you truly believed that your every word, thought, and deed was actually a magnanimous NOTE of your own personal OPUS held in reverent care by the UNIVERSE?! In essence, the very "beats" and "notes" of your life were being created by both the conscious and unconscious choices you make during every moment in this illusion of time and space. Because, I come today as the bearer of great TRUTH! For that is EXACTLY how your own life has and will ALWAYS be played out! I'll give you a few minutes for some much needed deep thought into the understanding I just dropped on all my New Age Nerds!

First and foremost, please re-member that I stated your every word, thought, and deed was held in deep care and reverence by the YOU-niverse! Hopefully, that knowingness, in of itself, will help you all to relax from any fear based paradigms deeply planted and rooted in a state of FEAR and LACK.  Any default thought programs that have thwarted prior attempts meant to break you away from the ILLUSIONS of the Egoic Mind keeping you held in a vibration of being a VICTIM of all your prior life's circumstances. 

You are here for a specific reason. And you matter more than you could possibly imagine! And this Universe, in alignment with Albert Einstein's beliefs, is a place of utter compassion and forgiveness! 

Can I get a big 'ole "Hell Yes" from this congregation. Because I know, although I have diligently practiced UNIFICATION  in many of my life's potential choices, I have been FAR from perfect in all of my collective choices! Just sayin' and always praying'.   ;0) 

Luckily, I was a fortunate to have my very own "Mr. Holland" in my life.  My late step father Roger Lee Poston.

Some believe that angels are ordinary souls who come into your life to help you believe in MIRACLES once again.  If this sentiment bares any truth, than I met my first ANGEL when I was a young lad of just 4 years of age.   My birth father had abandoned our family while we were living out in California, leaving my mom with two small children, little use of her right arm from a horrendous car accident, and absolutely no money.  But as Napoleon Hill always said, “Within every adversity, every failure, and every heartache there lies within it a seed of an equal or greater opportunity.”

Opportunity comes in many forms.  And often NOT wrapped in the way we would have ever imagined them to be.  Such was the case with Roger Lee Poston!  I first met this slice of Heaven's  Many Heartthrobs when my mom moved my sister and I from California to Washington, DC shortly after my birth father left our tribe.  He was a young man of 25 and was friends with my mom's sister. They were both teachers just starting out on their career life journeys.  Although we were in many ways an unlikely dynamic duo, it was absolutely ‘Friends at First Sight.’  He was a good ole' country boy from the pan handle of Virginia; think “The Beverly Hillbillies” sans the ‘Beverly’ part.  He had thick, curly hair and despite his very best efforts, a dialect that was laced with the Southern twang garnered from growing up in a little town called Saltville, VA;  known as the ‘salt capital’ of the Confederacy during the Civil War.  His face was quite pale; in fact I always teased him that he had three colors: white, red, and redder!  LOL  Pop was short and stocky with forearms and calves that rivaled those of Popeye.  

His aesthetic contrasted greatly with mine.  I was super skinny with straight, jet black hair and olive skin.  Leaner than a "fritter on a fryin' pan."  I was also painfully shy and introverted. (hard for anyone who knows me now to contemplate)   Due to the harsh traumas from early childhood, TRUST was an emotion that felt foreign to my sensibility.  I had been surrounded and raised by women until this extraordinary man appeared in my life.  Suddenly, I was being introduced into the world of ‘guy stuff’ on a daily basis.  From comic books and 7-11 slurpees, to movies and batting cages, putt-putt golf and Spiderman early morning cartoons.  My world suddenly exploded into a cacophony of glorious geekdom!  

And it wasn't just me;  as he also showered my sister, mother, and the rest of the Lapham (my mom's maiden name) clan with the same sense of love and reverence.  So when my mom set my sister and I down to let us know he had asked her to marry him, for the first time in my young life, my heart felt a sense of PEACE, and security.  I finally felt......... SAFE!  

I still remember the very first time I was able to garner the courage to call him DAD.   He was getting ready for work, and I paced back and forth just outside his bedroom door.  Practicing all the while, the manner in which I was going to approach him about it.  I placed my ear up to the door and could hear him just about to emerge into our downstairs rec-room.  My palms were sweaty and my heart was literally pounding out from my chest.  Until the door opened and as he walked out of his bedroom, I tentatively stepped in front of him and looked him square in the eye.   

“I have a question for you,” I said in a hushed voice.  It took all the intestinal fortitude I could muster, as my bottom lip began to quiver with anticipation, before finally garnering the courage to ask “Is it OK if I call you Dad?”

He stayed silent for a few precious moments which seemed like an eternity to me. He placed his right hand on my shoulder and said “Jeff, I have been waiting for you to ask me that for several years.  And there is nothing in this world that would make me happier!”  He then pulled me in for one of his well known "bear hugs" and then he started to cry.  Soon thereafter, tears started flowing from my own relieved being.

But it is what he said next that has been permanently imprinted into my reverence and re-membrance of him.  “Jeff, just promise me one thing,” he said.  “Although I will ALWAYS consider you to be my son, if the day comes when you choose to try and meet Danny (my birthfather) I will always support you.  He was part of the process that brought you to me, and for that I will always hold a space of gratitude  for Danny in my heart. And I will until the day I die.”  Now it's one thing to utter such good intentions, but my Dad did something I consider to be one of the most powerful testaments toward unconditional LOVE  I have EVER received. Despite many of the ugly acts that Danny brought about us in the years that followed, he  NEVER once spoke even one word of judgement or ill-will towards him. I knew it was out of respect and still often ponder in a complete vibration of AWE whenever I think about this act of unfathomable reverence for a man who caused my family so much pain.   

I contribute SO MUCH of who I AM to this man of undeniable strength and authenticity.  He taught me what it means to live life as a 'Gentle Man.'  Here is just a sampling of his teachings to me:

~~  Never be afraid of your emotions Jeff.  One of the greatest signs of inner strength and courage is to never be afraid to cry.  In fact, I think as a whole, we shed more tears at the movies to fill an olympic sized swimming pool!

~~Women are the greatest gift to this world.  And should be treated as such.  If I ever find out you have mistreated a young lady, I will ‘kick you through the goalposts of life.’  If you want to find out what that looks like, test me!   lol Needless to say, I never did...   ;0)

~~ Don't EVER let anyone confuse your kindness for weakness.  They are NOT the same thing.  Buyer beware!

Looking back, my Dad was the very first Superhero I ever met.  Not only did he work two, sometimes three jobs to put food on the table, but HE NEVER CALLED IN SICK IN 40 YEARS.  He considered his teaching occupation as "JOYOUS PLAYING!"  Not working.  I never ONCE heard him complain, even when I could see the toll of working 80 hour work weeks for over 30 years wearing him down to the bone.  He was a true warrior who lived a life that was completely personified by hard work and being of SERVICE always and in all ways.   

This may be hard to believe, but I never saw him buy ANYTHING for himself.  He was much more concerned with making sure his students had anything they needed. Always quick to think of others during any trip to the mall.  “Hell fire Jeff.  The only thing I truly need is the love of your mother, you and Sandy,” (my sister) was his super heroic catchphrase!   

Always a man of his word, he never let me down ONE time during our 40 year relationship.  And he didn't even need a "Batsignal."  His Spidey-sense was always set to surprise and service. and Spiderman had absolutely nothing on him.  Back in 1997,  when I spent almost a year in the hospital battling Crohn's disease, he came for a visit EVERY SINGLE DAY.  All while working two jobs.  And I mean it;  Dad never skipped one day, always sneaking in a tasty treat, a comic book or one of my favorite films.  

So in 2013, when he was diagnosed with a rare and devastating form of cancer, I had no problem leaving my job and along with my girlfriend at the time, moving into my parent's basement to help with the massive amount of daily care he required.  Although he fought the dis-ease so valiantly, the cancer eventually spread to his brain.  And he passed away in December of that same year.  

I was fortunate enough to be alongside his bed while he passed away.  In fact, my mom, sister, aunt Rena, and girlfriend at the time were all there holding vigil over him.  The manner in which he transitioned was as close to a MIRACLE as I have ever witnessed.  With only the use of one eye, he was truly able to connect to everyone there.  He lovingly gazed at each of us as we said our individual goodbyes.  But when he got to my side of the bed, his one eye intently glaring into mine without blinking, I felt .....  HEAVEN itself.  "Heaven on Earth!" Another ethereal dimension some say is pure folly. Not so much a place, but rather a magical state of pure perfection. A glimpse into what lies behind this illusionary matrix we call reality. Where time and space no longer exist. At least as we experience it within this realm. I felt connected to everything and everyone. And an inner peace that ALL IS WELL! I suddenly escaped the earthly feeling of not being enough. But rather complete and whole just as I was in that very moment.  While his soul was slowly leaving its body temple, a precious piece remained so we could say a temporary goodbye.  While I leaned in close to him, thanking him for all the LOVE, support, and guidance he poured upon me, something magical happened.  I received a quick glimpse of a future period of NOW. Without saying a word, he was communicating with me in a manner far more clear than using any type of vernacular.  The best way I can explain it is to think of a portal opening up.  It contained images of what my life was to become.  And the message was crystal clear.  It was time for me to start committing to my own PURPOSE and beginning the next stage of my own SuperHero's Journey.  I felt a sense of peace and KNOWINGNESS in that moment of what I needed to do.  

Dad took three, slow, deep breathes, and then transitioned back into the LOVE of  PURE BLISS.  And although I was understandably sad, he had, in those final moments, given me the greatest gift of all! KNOWINGNESS.  It was time for me to use my pain and suffering to become a Wounded Healer.  And for once, I wasn't afraid to take that leap.  My dad showed me a glimpse of the support behind the ‘Curtain of Oz.’  Once taking the smallest sip from SOURCE energy that was available to me in my dad's final breathes, I just KNEW the complete shift I was being asked to take in my life!

I wish that my own SuperHero's Journey took a turn toward pain free redemption after those experiences. But the Universal Prose of Poetry doesn't always end with such perfect endings.  In fact, I have come to understand that new beginnings often start with the pain of ending old relationships and situations that no longer serve us. But through my own travels, I have learned that letting go of anything that no longer serves us, creates and cleans out the space for the Universe to fill in that hole with All Things that are for our highest good!

So today I ask you; if you now perceive your life as a collaboration with a compassionate Universe that keeps the individual notes and "Best of Beats" towards creating your own "Optimum Opus." Eventually to be shared with the Collective Whole, how might your thoughts, words, and deeds change? Towards both yourSELF and all others. Because, in all reality, that is exactly what we are all co-creating in every moment of NOW, as Mr. Holland was so gracefully taught! A multi-layered, wisdom filled, magical "Magnus Opus." An eternal gift filled with hard fought wisdom to be shared by us all!

BE SUPER HEROIC!!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffery Louis Martinez