Back when I was in 4th grade, I experienced the first form of true, cruel emotional shaming towards a fellow classmate. He was quite socially awkward, and didn't "fit in" to any of the niche cliques that were already forming at such a precarious age. His sneakers were not name branded; i.e. Nike, Addidas. But rather off brand kicks, obviously from a discount store. And his clothes were often mis-matched, as though picked out by a blind fashionista.
I was fortunate enough to have been selected as a student crossing guard and still re-member the barrage of insults and down right disparaging remarks sent his direction each and every morning. Until, I finally garnered the gumption to confront this rather intimidating group of bullies head on.
Now at the time, I was quite tall for my age, but skinnier than a cheerio's sized hula hoop.
But having the privilege of being a crossing guard, part of my "job description" was to uphold the Mustang's (our school's mascot) motto of truth, kindness, and excellence. And so one morning, as this unconscious group of goulish gang members ascended upon my defenseless classmate, I left my post, pronto.
And as they were busy throwing evil epithets toward this fellow classmate, I spoke up rather loudly, after putting myself between their group/gang and their personal prey.
"You guys want to pick on somebody. Pick on me!!," I snarled. Truth be told, I was more than a little trepidatious. I might not have been a math genius, but 7 on 1 isn't exactly fair numbers. A rather stout member of their posse stood out from their pack and approached me directly.
"What are you going to do Martinez?" he blurted out.
"As long as you come at me one at a time, why don't you see?" I nervously espoused. I knew the ONLY thing I had going in my favor was that despite my fragile size, I was the school's all star sports phenom. I held every school record in the physical education department. (And still do!) And they all knew it!
As we looked each other in the eyes, with a steely glare, Eric (no need to reveal full names) backed down and walked toward his trope of groupies. "You're lucky Martinez," were the words he tossed into the waiting wind. "Whew," I heavily heaved!
His entire entourage left the near bombastic scene and went into the school's back entrance one at a time. Several evil eye exchanges not withstanding!
"Are you OK?," I asked the victim of this constant abuse. I'll NEVER forget his answer.
"I used to believe in everyone having a SOUL. But now I really think that we are all SOUL LESS," was his heartbreaking retort.
"All I know is that if we do have a SOUL, yours will have a special place in Heaven," was my effort toward consolation. Quite a prescient retort for a young man of 10 years of age.
Thankfully, he didn't have to deal with such a collage of personally heartbreaking abuse the rest of that school year! True bullies are deeply insecure and it plays out in their dastardly behavior. So, as soon as they saw me around my spiritually fragile friend, all bets were wiped clear off the table!
However, this experience still informs my spiritual psyche, and dare I say sometime still haunts me to this very day. It was my first experience with the truly life long damaging effects words and actions can profoundly affect the very core beliefs of any special SPIRIT searching for their life's CALLING.
And unfortunately, with the advent of social media, emotional bullying has found a new outlet for its fiery and forcefully damaging circumstances! In my county in Northern Virginia alone, there have been well over 10 school suicides in the past two years alone! Absolutely horrifying! And completely unacceptable on our collective SUPERHERO's watch! In fact, my beyond gorgeous God daughter was forced to be removed from her high school because of both emotional and physical bullying. GRRRRRRR!!!
While the #ME/TOO movement is a fabulous start toward creating a society that has begun to create a foundation built upon equality for ALL, there is still much work to be done. By us all!!
AND IT ALL STARTS WITH LOVING UNDERSTANDING........................
As followers of this blog are fully aware, I dream and strive daily toward a world in which we celebrate each other's unique Super Hero's Journey. Each and every one of us are here to fulfill a transcendent CALLING! And with each of our spectacular endeavors comes with it a plethora of trials and tribulations. Missions that ONLY WE CAN FULFILL!
And yet so very few of us know and truly try and understand what our fellow brothers and sisters must overcome in order to accomplish their tremendous earthly Missions! What would it look like to stop and truly listen to someone else's hard fought Journey?! I have the fermented understanding that by doing so, we would realize how close our struggles surmise a realization of great similarity! And that an enlightened world of understanding would bring us closer on so many crucial fronts.
Please re-member that there is absolutely NO THING that comes into your experience that is not to further expand your very loving energetic essence. We are all SUPERHEROES that have the courage and fortitude to withstand any and everything that this Earthly experience can send our way. The ONLY way we can forgo being "Victoriously Heroic" in our SUPERHERO's Journey is by erroneously believing that we are a victim to our circumstances.
And please believe me with that which I write and speak. Many of you may have noticed that this is the first post I have written in the past month. Well, I have always promised that I would use the platform of this blog to be of "Supreme Service" to others.
And so I'm choosing to be incredibly vulnerable to say I have been diagnosed as being
Bi-Polar in the past 5 weeks. I thought I knew what "HELL" looked like. Oh, little did I know the depths and wrath of suffering and pain that this earthly experience can forge onto one's heart and soul! I literally went from being incredibly joyous, grandiose, and exuberant for several months, to suddenly waking one frightful morning in the darkness and hopelessness of a deep depression. My SPIRIT was temporarily broken and utterly shattered! Just getting out of bed felt like an exercise in pure torture. It affected every part of my being. During a five week period, I lost 20 pounds of hard earned muscle. And there are absolutely NO WORDS to describe the physical, mental, psychic, and spiritual pain I have endured. Not to mention the damage I caused in all facets of my life. Almost unimaginable!
No excuses on my end, yet hard fought compassion as many of my actions were not always the "authentic me."
However, I have not only accepted my diagnosis, but embraced it! I now believe that part of my own Super Hero's Journey is to push through the intrinsic challenges of this illness to be an inspiration to the myriad of others who face the same challenges I do each and every day; absolutely NO fault of their own. A Super Hero for the "Mental Illness Masses." What a privilege indeed. Easy?! HELL NO!! Worth it?! Damn straight! But I am more than up for the task that lies ahead. As Rocky Balboa says, "It's not how many time you get knocked down. But how many times you can get up and keep moving forward!"
There is such a horrific "STIGMA" still surrounding any and all mental deficiencies. Yet 1 out of every 4 of us around the world will be afflicted by some sort of mental illness in our lifetime. Not trying to scare you, just stating the pure scientific facts! And many in the psychiatric field believe those numbers are WAY TOO LOW! Only because of the hellish lack of education surrounding any form of mental illness that still carries a soul crushing stigma causing too many precious faceless brothers and sisters to suffer in vein. And those that are reticent to get the help they deserve due to stigma commit suicide at an alarming rate!
Part of my own healing process the last month was achieved through the task of doing research on many super successful individuals who have been afflicted with the same malady that I have. Here is just a small list I compiled:
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Robert Downey Jr.
Abraham Lincoln
Van Gogh
Kanye West
Robin Williams
Jim Carry
Demi Lavato
Brittany Spears
Mariah Carrey
Catherine Zeta Jones
Frank Sinatra
Kurt Cobain
Russel Brand
Jane Pauley
Sinead O'Connor
Amy Winehouse
Mel Gibson
Carrie Fisher
Edgar Allen Poe
Ted Turner
And the list goes on and on........ At least I'm in pretty good company! Wouldn't you agree!
LOL
It's beyond time for all of us to STOP THE JUDGING and SHAMING of one another. And transcend those actions toward a compassionate habit of shifting our LOVE towards trying to truly UNDERSTAND what makes us extraordinary, rather than JUDGE the unique Journey's that each of us have been entrusted to complete. After all, WE ARE ALL ONE! A unique emanation of the ONE GOD MIND that sends us all that which we need to fulfill the transcendent CALLING we came here to fulfill.
No thing ever happens "To You." Everything sent into your experience, no matter how painful or excruciating in nature is ALL FOR YOU TO COMPLETE your individual Hero's Journey! PROMISE!
Now please understand. That does not mean every experience you will encounter would be deemed easy by anyone! I will personally declare that some of the "crosses we bare" are beyond punishing! And the process of accepting them will contort your own core beliefs many times over. Never to "TEST" you, but rather to assist you in your own expansion of energetic essence. That's precisely why I teach and ardently believe that each and every one of us our Super Heroes!
For all of life itself is a Superhero's Journey. An experience of radical spiritual transformation. In which the Universe expresses itself through and as US! The Grand Creator seeks to expand always and in all ways. It's the very nature of God herself. And as the late legendary physicist Stephen Hawking discovered, "The boundary condition of the Universe....is that is has NO boundary." NO BOUNDARY and that means NO LIMITS! You chose to come here to carry out a CALLING that was Divinely Devised. You carry a divinity spark of pure SPIRIT that is 100% heroic! Part Martin Luther King Jr., part Yoda, Wonder Woman, and Captain America, but all Christ Consciousness! By fulfilling your unique Mission, the byproduct is assisting and adding to the expansion of the Universe. Which ultimately means creating more heaping buckets of LOVE! The core component of all that is.......
And for all your Heroic efforts, you get to experience all the abundance within the Universe!
All the wealth, health, joy, laughter, light, LOVE and BLISS in the Cosmos! As you ask, so shall it be given. That's a pretty fair trade off, right?! I say Hell yes! :0)
But in order for this "Cosmic Experiment" to be fulfilled, we must awaken from our collective slumber. And re-member that WE ARE ALL ONE!! And stop the judging and shaming of one another. And replace these actions with a deeply profound transformation towards UNDERSTANDING. In fact, I KNOW it is crucial that we make this transition ASAP! Our very "Collective Consciousness" depends on it............................
BE SUPER HEROIC!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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