Although ‘The Big Bang Theory’ on CBS may have helped in the evolution of giving NERDS around the world a new distinction, there have been many other incarnations of such bonded friendships that could give their crew a real run for their geek cache. In fact, I had such a group of Awkward Heroes growing up in a suburb outside of Washington, DC. Built from a composite of various brainiacs, gregarious geeks, and unlucky in love lotharios, what we lacked on the ‘popularity scale’, we certainly made up for with a passionate ingenuity!!
One trait that perhaps best exemplified the glue that kept us close for most of our formative years, was our unified stand on LOVE. We cherished it. Desired it and fiercely defended its honor at all costs. Poems, love letters, songs.... we did them ALL! Nothing gave us more pleasure than conjuring the most creative ways to express our affections in the attempt to win over the hearts of the glorious gals that crossed our paths.
In fact, one particular young lady, who had caught my complete adoration, became the benchmark for the lengths to which we would extend ourselves. Her 18th Birthday was just around the corner and I was doggedly intent on making it one she would never forget. So after an exhaustive trip to the mall for materials, I gathered our LOVE POSSE and we stayed up most of the night creating an 18 foot ‘Happy Birthday’ banner in our college dorm's parking lot. These were obviously more innocent times; where five guys with spray paint cans and masks after midnight caused NO concern for further investigation. LOL After several hours of drawing and painting, when we finally finished our mission it was nearly dawn. And that's when the real work began.......
I was gracious enough to let most of the guys get to bed, sans one. He had the stupendous task of convening with me a little later that morning at the High School that this lucky lass attended. In true Mission Impossible style, I told him we had exactly ONE hour to climb to the top of the edifice guarding the building's main entrance to erect my VISION of overlaying this banner and its ‘Ode to LOVE’, plus 18 pink balloons, completely covering the school's visible namesake in the process. That way, when all the busses pulled into the parking lot later that morning, my act of care and adoration could be seen by her and the entire school. And ya know what, we somehow pulled it off. Totally ‘Say Anything’ style!!
My piece de la resistance. And........she LOVED IT!! Not only that, but I ended up escorting her to the school's end of year prom. An amazing experience given I never attended my own! The school put out a beacon to find the culprit, but it did its job and I was never caught. Years later, she sent me a picture of the banner, and told me it is still one of her greatest treasures!
Unfortunately, not all of my other attempts, and those of our group, were met with the same enthusiasm in the following years. But we didn't give up. Love never does.
There is a potent scene in the film Adaptation staring Nicolas Cage that completely embodied the ESSENCE of our unabashedly passionate stand on Love's elixir and its importance in our experience:
Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.
Donald Kaufman: I remember that.
Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.
Let THAT sink in for a moment. You are what you love, NOT what loves you. PREACH!
Our world is in such need of Truth Seekers, Bringers of the Light, and convictions of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. So even if you feel your wings are broken, or if your heart has been ripped apart by betrayal and loss, please NEVER give up on extending yourself toward others. Honesty, kindness, respect. There is simply not enough. And always remember, what you are currently seeking is also seeking you!
Eventually, we will prevail NOT in spite of our pain, failures, and struggles, but BECAUSE of the strength and guidance we gained from those experiences. As Neale Donald Walsh heard from God's silent whisper, “Know, that I send you nothing but ANGELS.”
Eventually, we will prevail NOT in spite of our pain, failures, and struggles, but BECAUSE of the strength and guidance we gained from those experiences. As Neale Donald Walsh heard from God's silent whisper, “Know, that I send you nothing but ANGELS.”
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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