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kloToday's post is both personal and extremely vulnerable for me to share. However, I have dedicated my life as a WOUNDED HEALER. And that involves being open and honest, with the faith that my tribe will respect my experiences and not judge them. And more importantly, take some of the lessons and KNOWINGNESS gained from my own Journey to enrich theirs. And as we all know by now, that is the paradigm of The Hero's/Heroine's Journey! The biggest challenge is that like most Wounded Healers, my biggest strength can also be my kryptonite. I am extremely sensitive and intuitively empathic. And that combination makes some engagements with others quite challenging.
Exactly one year ago, I found myself feeling like a pebble thrown along the shore of learned helplessness by the waves of the world's wisdom. It was as if Spirit had tossed me ashore, and then said, “Go within. Learn acceptance and Re-member why you came. Collect the shards of your Purpose along the sand's tracks, by following the footsteps of your past. For within each one there lies the gift from all your pain and suffering, trails and tribulations. We waste nothing, and neither should you. Your tribe is waiting for you. And so are we.”
There were moments when I felt like throwing in the towel. I had to have emergency triple hernia surgery that crippled me for a few months. My health insurance was from the Open Marketplace which pretty much means its catastrophic in nature. (That's a story for a different post!!) At the same time the Crohn's Disease and Aynklosing Spondylitis I have started really flaring up. When I tried to use my ATM card for some cash, the machine shouted back, “You're joking, right!" My car was in desperate need of repairs and nearly undriveable. The job I had taken to help support my coaching business didn't workout and I was more broke than a ‘fritter on a frying pan.’ To say I was depressed was an understatement. I felt alone, scared, and forgotten.
So one night, soon after, I had a ‘Come to Spirit’ session. I had no choice in the matter. I couldn't continue living life in this manner. And I knew it deep down in my soulful core. I went into my bedroom and sat on my bed to meditate and pray. And I made a commitment to both myself and God/Spirit. A co-creational pact and agreement if you will. Right then and there, I promised that I would spend my waking days on No Thing other than my PURPOSE. On being a constant vessel for Spirit to work through me and use my lessons from pain and suffering in service of others. That EVERY decision I made from that point for the rest of my life, would have resonation with my Hero's Journey. That meant keeping up with a daily spiritual practice. Going back to the gym to keep my body in the type of shape needed to be a healthy vessel for Spirit to work through. Writing every day. Seeking out a mentor to assist building up my coaching and leadership business. And find a job that would further serve my Purpose by providing me with knowledge, contacts, and experience for the additional components that I desire my business to be composed of. (Yes, The New Age Nerd Podcast is coming soon!)
In return, I promised to have unbreakable FAITH in the SOURCE energy from Spirit to show me the proper path to take and to guide me on it while I did the heavy lifting. I LET GO AND LET GOD.
The next morning I awoke and headed to the gym. And then spent the rest of my day doing EXACTLY as I had promised. I had intense focus and made sure my thoughts and actions were congruent with my Purpose. And I have woke up and done this EVERY morning since! And ya know what, MIRACLES started showing up left and right! Almost every day!
The New Age Nerd viewership is now at nearly 2,500 visits per day! (Up from about 400 two years ago) I am honored and humbled to have Mr. Justin Constantine as my mentor as well as assisting in helping me launch my new website. (also coming soon!) I have put all the weight I lost from being so sick earlier in the year and am in the best shape of my life!
This experience has been one of the most profound and transformative moments in my life. It has taught me that once we TRULY commit (And I mean TRULY) to using our own pain towards our Purpose, the Universe shows up in the most MIRACULOUS of ways! And life seems full of MAGIC!
I urge anyone who is reading this and feels similar to the way I did, to understand no experience is wasted in this lifetime you were given. It's up to you to use your pain to power your Purpose. Wounds into Wisdom!! And Re-member that you are NEVER alone! Everything you need is already within you, waiting to be UNLEASHED and shared with the world.........
To Living a BLISSED OUT LIFE!!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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