Feeling All Alone.... How To Share YOUR SIGNIFICANCE!!!!

A few years ago I attended a funeral of a still fairly young man, who had suffered for the majority of his shortened life with a disease that completely ravishes a Spirit's earthly body with the type of pain that most of us cannot even begin to truly fathom.  The illness is called HEMOPHILIA.  Essentially, those affected with it have bodies that cannot form blood clotting on their own.  And the list of horrifying side effects this insidious malady puts on the body are everything from EXTREME arthritis to the point where eventually most of those affected eventually become wheelchair bound, not including extreme bruising and bleeding under the skin simply through a thoughtful touch.  Just unimaginable suffering!!

However, this completely COURAGEOUS individual requested of his relatives that he NOT have a traditional funeral ceremony.  No, what he desired was to have his most cherished friends and life long companions to get up and tell funny or insightful stories about HIS STORY!!    

And so on the day of his funeral, those of us in the procession were gifted to a myriad of absolutely hilarious, personal, intimate, and meaningful tales that truly fleshed out who he was and more importantly, HOW HE CHOSE TO LIVE!!  While he did not live a long life, he lived a life full of Soulful SIGNIFICANCE!!  And my Fellow New Age Nerds, that is an everlasting message to all of us about the manner in which we are to spend our precious time on this precious Earth.......

But what EXACTLY does that mean; a life of SIGNIFICANCE?!?!  Like SUCCESS, it can mean a lot of different things to different people.  And that is completely OK!!  However, I would like to take the time to flesh out what it means to me........

Our world, especially here in the UNITED STATES, has slowly become a breeding ground for those who live to work, rather than WORK TO LIVE!  Gi-normous difference!  And as wonderful as some of the technological advances that have become such an intricate part of our life experience may be, they have also taken a strangle hold over what precious free time that we used to have in such abundance.  Let's be honest, most of us are never REALLY disconnected from work.  And how can we be when our bosses know they can text, IM, Facebook message, or reach us through a pure cell phone call wherever we are in the World?!?  Back when I first started my career (when we still had to ride to work on horseback...LOL) the moment we left our desks for the day, we were done, through, capooey,  adios amigo, until 9:00 the next workday!  Those were truly magical times before home computers and cell phones even existed................

You see that very freedom allowed me and my fellow GEEKS to still have time each night to get together for a game of touch football, or play a quick game of Dungeons and Dragons. (HEY, why do you think one of the reasons this blog is called THE NEW AGE NERD!!  Get it, got it,  good!!  ;0)  

It was a time when our parents could still get home from work in time to either cheer from the stands or actually coach our soccer, baseball, basketball, or football teams!  Although I'm sure my step-dad(although the ONLY Dad I ever knew) may have tried to reign my mom in a little ( they were co-coaches of my baseball teams) as she had a rule that anyone who hit a home run would get a free hotdog!!  Needlessly to say, when any of my fellow teammates would even hit a ball more than 10 feet they wouldn't stop running the bases until they were either thrown out or rounded the bases to collect on their promised Nathan's Ballpark with extra mustard!!   LOL  Oh, those were truly the times of my life!!  Why, BECAUSE THEY WERE TRULY SIGNIFICANT!!  

And unfortunately, I am currently witnessing such magical moments becoming relics of a past that always left an indelible imprint on my own Soul!   Because when we take our very last breathe on this planet, there will be a plethora of things that we will ALL be remembered for!!  And I personally feel that right now, we are spending way too much energy headed in a direction that in NO way encompasses the true meaning of WHY WE ARE HERE and what we will be remembered for! Our SIGNIFICANCE!!!

One of my greatest HEROES is Martin Luther King, Jr. who wrote, in my opinion, one of the greatest speeches of all time called 'The Drum Major Instinct.'   As we all know, the God given talent he had for using parables as a way of teaching his message were unmatched and very evident in this speech that still sends chills up my spine every time I hear or read it!  It truly speaks to the topic of living a life of SIGNIFICANCE and LOVE.....  Here is just a tiny excerpt that I hope INSPIRES all who read it......

But now the problem is, it is the drum major instinct. And you know, you see people over and over again with the drum major instinct taking them over. And they just live their lives trying to outdo the Joneses. (Amen) They got to get this coat because this particular coat is a little better and a little better-looking than Mary’s coat. And I got to drive this car because it’s something about this car that makes my car a little better than my neighbor’s car. (Amen) I know a man who used to live in a thirty-five-thousand-dollar house. And other people started building thirty-five-thousand-dollar houses, so he built a seventy-five-thousand-dollar house. And then somebody else built a seventy-five-thousand-dollar house, and he built a hundred-thousand-dollar house. And I don’t know where he’s going to end up if he’s going to live his life trying to keep up with the Joneses. LOL

There comes a time that the drum major instinct can become destructive. (Make it plain) And that’s where I want to move now. I want to move to the point of saying that if this instinct is not harnessed, it becomes a very dangerous, pernicious instinct. For instance, if it isn’t harnessed, it causes one’s personality to become distorted. I guess that’s the most damaging aspect of it: what it does to the personality. If it isn’t harnessed, you will end up day in and day out trying to deal with your ego problem by boasting. Have you ever heard people that—you know, and I’m sure you’ve met them—that really become sickening because they just sit up all the time talking about themselves. (Amen) And they just boast and boast and boast, and that’s the person who has not harnessed the drum major instinct.

And then it does other things to the personality. It causes you to lie about who you know sometimes. (Amen, Make it plain) There are some people who are influence peddlers. And in their attempt to deal with the drum major instinct, they have to try to identify with the so-called big-name people. (Yeah, Make it plain) And if you’re not careful, they will make you think they know somebody that they don’t really know. (Amen) They know them well, they sip tea with them, and they this-and-that. That happens to people.

And the other thing is that it causes one to engage ultimately in activities that are merely used to get attention. Criminologists tell us that some people are driven to crime because of this drum major instinct. They don’t feel that they are getting enough attention through the normal channels of social behavior, and so they turn to anti-social behavior in order to get attention, in order to feel important. (Yeah) And so they get that gun, and before they know it they robbed a bank in a quest for recognition, in a quest for importance.

And then the final great tragedy of the distorted personality is the fact that when one fails to harness this instinct, (Glory to God) he ends up trying to push others down in order to push himself up. (Amen) And whenever you do that, you engage in some of the most vicious activities. You will spread evil, vicious, lying gossip on people, because you are trying to pull them down in order to push yourself up. (Make it plain) And the great issue of life is to harness the drum major instinct.

But let me rush on to my conclusion, because I want you to see what Jesus was really saying. What was the answer that Jesus gave these men? It’s very interesting. One would have thought that Jesus would have condemned them. One would have thought that Jesus would have said, “You are out of your place. You are selfish. Why would you raise such a question?”

But that isn’t what Jesus did; he did something altogether different. He said in substance, “Oh, I see, you want to be first. You want to be great. You want to be important. You want to be significant. Well, you ought to be. If you’re going to be my disciple, you must be.” But he reordered priorities. And he said, “Yes, don’t give up this instinct. It’s a good instinct if you use it right. (Yes) It’s a good instinct if you don’t distort it and pervert it. Don’t give it up. Keep feeling the need for being important. Keep feeling the need for being first. But I want you to be first in love. (Amen) I want you to be first in moral excellence. I want you to be first in generosity. That is what I want you to do.”

And he transformed the situation by giving a new definition of greatness. And you know how he said it? He said, “Now brethren, I can’t give you greatness. And really, I can’t make you first.” This is what Jesus said to James and John. “You must earn it. True greatness comes not by favoritism, but by fitness. And the right hand and the left are not mine to give, they belong to those who are prepared.” (Amen)

And so Jesus gave us a new norm of greatness. If you want to be important—wonderful. If you want to be recognized—wonderful. If you want to be great—wonderful. But recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. (Amen) That’s a new definition of greatness.

And this morning, the thing that I like about it: by giving that definition of greatness, it means that everybody can be great, (Everybody) because everybody can serve. (Amen) You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. (All right) You don’t have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You don’t have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don’t have to know Einstein’s theory of relativity to serve. You don’t have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. (Amen) You only need a heart full of grace, (Yes, sir, Amen) a soul generated by love. (Yes) And you can be that servant............

Martin Luther King, Jr.

And a precious two days later, Martin Luther King, Jr. was murdered in cold blood.  Yet I truly believe he had lived his CALLING and spread the Gospel he came here to deliver!!

Now, I know many of you have variant ideas regarding organized religion, and I respect that more than you could ever know!   And I am NOT asking you to have your own personal beliefs regarding anything mentioned in this speech to be challenged or changed.  For that has nothing to do with why I included it in this post.  No, I used certain excerpts today to simply challenge your own perceptions about what SIGNIFICANCE and GREATNESS means to YOU?!? 

Because my compadres, I am hearing from too many friends, and relatives, and coaching clients,  all with a common thread of current emotional discord regarding sympathetic connection.  They feel as though their actions are not being met with a sense of Soulful Significance!  Many of them are trying their damned best to usurp what little time they have been given to reach out to others who are sick, alone, living in extreme lack, or spiritual silence.  And while they are doing it to express their own level of care and concern, they are being met back with a complete lack of GRATITUDE and  Reciprocity!  And while I don't wish to mix my messages, the intent with what I wish to express is that SIGNIFICANCE IS MOST POWERFUL WHEN IT IS A TWO WAY STREET!  For what we share, SPIRIT circulates in the form of LOVE AND CARE!!  For as Martin Luther King, Jr. tells us, we can ALL be Great and Important!  But in order to be SIGNIFICANT in the eyes of this great UNIVERSE, we must be a servant for ONE ANOTHER!!  

Right now, we are all too often building walls of isolation to protect us from the painful expressions that manifest with the lack of mutual care and compassion we are showing one another.  And, yes, to rise above the actions of THE OTHER is a spiritual practice that would serve all of us, but would it not be more loving and SIGNIFICANT for us to be able to forgo such soulful tasks, especially in our times of emotional, physical, and spiritual needs if we rose above our own EGOIC necessities to Re-member those who have stood before US in our own time of need to let them know that we share our hearts in KINDNESS AND GRATITUDE as servants of LOVE!!  Because if there is ONE THING this world could use it is more LOVE!!!    

As a HERO's TIP, here are a few things that may assist you in sharing your precious free time and transform it into a form of SIGNIFICANCE that has the ability to truly change the world:

1- Success adds value to oneself.  Significance adds value to others.


A perfect example of this is my friend Jennifer Ohlson.  We met in college where she was awarded a full sports scholarship.   Here is just a sampling of some of her extraordinary personal achievements:
~~  Most lettered athlete in Colorado sports history
~~  USA Today Colorado Athlete of the Year
~~  ECAC Heptathlon Champion her senior year


The list goes on, but she has turned her MASSIVE personal success into a thriving business called Interactive Health Technologies!  She and her team have created a cloud based technology program to revolutionize the physical education system.   IHT is "dedicated to helping unlock the full potential inside every individual, empowering them from kindergarten through graduation day to take personal responsibility for their health and well-being."  Jen literally took her greatest passion and personal success, and has turned it into something that is adding TREMENDOUS value to the WORLD!  GO Jen!

2-  Success has limited influence.  Significance has UNLIMITED influence. 
"When you influence a child, you influence a life.  When you influence a father, you influence a family.  When you influence a  leader, you influence ALL who turn to him/her for leadership."
Quote by Anonymous

3-  Turning Success into Significance is one of the best ways to find our CALLING.
I think we have all experienced the fleeting feeling that various success brings into our life.  But to go beyond ourself, and meld what our true talents to the world may be, with a burning desire to be of service to others, creates a gateway into our personal calling. 

4-  Pursuing success only brings joy to but a few, but pursuing significance brings joy to many.  And isn't that what the Hero's Journey, at its core, is truly all about.  Bringing back the knowledge we have learned on our personal quest of challenges, to be of service to others who are still attempting to get through theirs?!  As Martin Luther King Jr. often espoused, “Life's most persistent and urgent question is: What are we doing for others?”

So I would like to remind each and every one of you, in what ways can you be a servant in your own lives?!?  Especially to those who have always been a servant of care and compassion in your own life?!?  Not because we need to feel that our actions mattered, but because GRATITUDE is the greatest THANK YOU NOTE we could ever send to one another!! Because, the hard cold truth is that one day, the Spirits who cared for us the most will no longer be there!  And wouldn't it be more than worthwhile to be one of the individuals that was able to stand up at their own funeral procession and have stories to share?!  Stories that are truly SIGNIFICANT?!?

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez