“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed,Luke 4:18
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Many of you readers of The New Age Nerd may be wondering why there have been no posts the last two weeks...........
When I first decided to dedicate my life toward being a ‘Wounded Healer’, I made a commitment to be as vulnerable on my own Hero's Journey as one could possibly BE. In fact, it is in that very commitment that my own SOUL has been galvanized and been reminded of my path and purpose while I AM here. It has allowed me to accept my own trials and tribulations as purposeful
experiences, rather than chaotic circumstances thrown into my path with no real meaning or volition.
Because a Life lived with a BELIEF system that life happens TO YOU and not THROUGH and FOR YOU is called ‘Hell on Earth.’ And as we all hopefully now understand, we are here to create a new Earth that begins with creating the Greatest and Grandest version ever held of ourselves.
And as Victor Frankel said, “Life only begins once we understand the meaning of our suffering.” And it is my experience that No Thing could be more TRUTHFUL! Or more important to Re-member!! Most of us will be BROKEN OPEN many times over during this process of Re-birth as we continue to evolve and stretch our own ability for the allowance of the LOVE and LIGHT that is waiting to manifest through us. For it is our God given birthright to experience the constant connection of adoration and spiritual support that is at our disposal at all times.
As I have repeated many times in this very blog, the Hero's/Heroine's Journey is NOT for the faint of heart. In fact, at times in can be beyond brutal. A devilish version of Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory where each new turn beings with it enormous opportunity, but often with a painful or crushing cost. But the very fact that YOU and I are here is a cause for a SOULABRATION for the ages!! Because it means we are part of a privileged TRIBE. A group of powerful SOULS who not only agreed to this Journey into initial darkness but also promised to assist one another back into the LIGHT! A group of Spiritual Superheroes committed to allowing LOVE to guide and resurrect us for the coming of a new dawn of understanding that we are truly spiritual beings having a human experience. And even more importantly, THAT WE ARE ALL ONE!!
We wear many coats as we emerge into this earthly experience. And at times, they must be shed; one by one. In a process that at times can question our very cause for BEING. But the very reason that ‘the breaking of bread’ has been used as a constant trope in the Scriptures is because it is in our OWN breaking, that miracles occur. What doesn't kill us does indeed make us stronger, but that knowledge doesn't always ease the pain while we are in the miraculous process of birthing a miracle.
And that is where our TRIBE comes into play. And it is why I am finally going to share with you the reason for lapse in recent posts. Because I trust my TRIBE, and I truly believe that sharing our own story is the most powerful form of service we can give to one another. And I hope you do as well.....
A few weeks ago I had just returned from a business trip when I was hit with a barrage of painful events over a four day period that shook me to the core. As I slowly felt my emotional center starting to fall back into darkness, I became absolutely disillusioned. I had NEVER felt this kind of pain before. A constant barrage of left hooks and right upper cuts from a fearful force that seemed intent on sending me down for the count- PERMANENTLY!!
My inner monologue cried for understanding! Here I had dedicated the last 20 years of my life toward the understanding of self realization, and now all I could realize was that I could not take much more of what life was dishing out. And I tried with all my might. Every principle and practice I had spent decades trying to master was failing me. And nothing made sense.
I stayed up one night crying and praying that the pain would end. I couldn't stop a barrage of painful memories from consuming my present. It was akin to a cable channel of nothing bit horror channels on every station. One worst and more dreadful that the next. “Whatever I did God, I'm soooo sorry!! Just please let me know what I need to do to ease my suffering, and I will do it!!” And for the next few hours the arduous torture of emotional suffering lifted enough for me to realize that something was wrong and that I needed help.
While I was proud of the fact that I was courageous enough to admit that I could not do this alone and needed help, I also felt in many ways like a fraud. Here I was a professional life coach, helping others through their life challenges and assisting them toward their goals, and I now I was the one whose life was spinning out of control. Like the song in Rocky 4, “There is no easy way out, there is NO shortcut home, giving up can be rough!”
Looking back, I have known for a while that there was something deep within my essence that was always just one TRIGGER away from consuming my ‘normal self’. Superman has his kryptonite, and I knew I had mine. It's one of the reasons I have spent the better part of my life seeking the TRUTH. Aspiring to Re-member and understand this thing called Life. Not only for myself, but for others. But like Luke Skywalker entering the dark cave on the Dagobah System, with Yoda by his side, it takes a Gi-normous amount of courageous to face our darkest demons. “But face them we must,” as Yoda would say. And face them I have finally done.
I discovered that I suffer from a form of depression that is triggered by Post Traumatic Stress. When I was first informed of the diagnosis, I felt absolutely numb. And relieved all at the same time. And it is my deep and heartfelt desire that my vulnerability in sharing my TRUTH with the New Age Nerd community will be a beacon on LIGHT for anyone who has suffered or is currently suffering with ANY FORM OF MENTAL ILLNESS. Although the stigma about those of us suffering from mental health maladies has made some strides in recent years, it is still absolutely unacceptable for us to stop making more progress. Lives literally depend on it. One in four of us will suffer from sort sort of mental illness during our lifetimes. And many in the medical community believe that number is actually a farce. All because there are oh so many in our world who will continue to suffer rather than face the stigma that many believe could alienate them from the life they have come to know and feel comfortable with. That they will be ‘labeled’ as LESS THAN if they admit they need help and support. In my community alone, 13 children under the age of 18 have committed suicide this year alone. It is becoming an epidemic. Too many of us feel all alone! HOW CAN THIS BE?!?! We live in a world filled with nearly 8 BILLION SOULS.
The very reason I use the template of The Hero's/Heroine's Journey for The New Age Nerd is because of how fervently I believe in its tenets. Part of each and every one of our own personal Hero's Journey's will be facing our own demons and shedding the baggage and tortuous illusions that they use to keep us from the LOVE that surrounds us. And I have to practice that which I preach. So I went and got help and will continue to use what I learn on my path to recovery and share it with anyone of my clients who may benefit from it!
And please Re-member, YOU CANNOT think your way out of this process. It takes purposeful action, a boatload of courage, and a super support system to complete our purpose. Frodo had Bilbo, Batman teamed up with Robin, and I urge you to find your own team of Super Friends as well! And as far as what others may think, Re-member what Dr. Seuss said, “Those that matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter!” AMEN!!
In a previous post, I wrote about why we must suffer. And to summarize my theory, here is the acronym I devised for this part of the human process:
S ummoning our
Ultimate
Fears &
Frailty
Encouraging
Rebirth
But please, needless suffering is a completely different thing. So if you or ANYONE you know seems to be in need or support of help, PLEASE reach out a hand of Hope. Let them know they are not alone. Help them Re-member that they matter and are LOVED more than they could possibly imagine. Then refuse to leave their side until you are assured they have what they need to be led back to the Light. Because THAT IS THE ONLY REASON WE ARE HERE............
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
amazing, really beautifully written and inspiring, thankyou brother for sharing so openly and courageously. I really agree with you that since my awakening I have felt very guided to share it every step of the way, to show that I am a human going through it and sometimes its absolute heaven on earth and sometimes so painful that I am crying on the bathroom floor and yet the belief in something greater, a greater more beautiful purpose, in coming back to who we are is worth the effort :) Keep shining your light xyx
ReplyDeleteRaw and heartfelt♡ Keep rising above and be who you were meant to be! You are a really great person with a gift for writing. Keep fighting...you are NOT alone.
ReplyDeleteKristen ♡