Thursday, March 24, 2016

Is SHAME Keeping You Feeling Less Than Who You REALLY Are...??



Today's Inspirational  “MYTHOLOGICAL MAGIC”









“In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!”

~~ Lucky Day (THE THREE AMIGOS)


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Divine intervention is such a MAGICAL force.  I welcome it in all its forms.  And when it now arrives in my life, my heart fills with gushing gratitude.  And I slow down, and talk to GOD, a lot. Because there is no wondering if He hears me, because in these moments, I KNOW he does.  

Sometimes, such a synchronistic connection comes in the form of a call from an old friend.  One who strikes up a conversation that is imbued with the exact predicaments and emotional complexity that has been recently filling your days and often.. long nights.

Such was the case with me earlier this week.  I had been struggling with a Gi-normous amount of GUILT and SHAME that arose from a previous relationship and it was so damn heavy on my heart.  I'm talking about the type of feelings that consume your thoughts.  And threaten to tear down the essence of Who You Really Are!  And then my friend called, and was vulnerable enough to share with me that he was going through the exact same type of feelings based on his current relationship. And as a result of our long chat that evening, I was able to RE-MEMBER the powerful difference between GUILT and SHAME and slowly let go of many of the destructive feelings that had been bubbling up deep within me......

So for any of you who are currently residing in a similar state of emotion, or who find yourself often taking the train to SHAME, I wanted to offer some important distinctions so that the next time such feelings flood your heart, you will be able to move through them with more GRACE that eventually leads back to your true essence of perfection which deserves your unconditional Self-Love.  

The ONE big distinction between GUILT and SHAME is that guilt is about ‘what I did’ while shame deals in the feelings and beliefs about ‘who you are as a result of what you did’.  Let's face it, we all make mistakes, blunders, and faux pas of all shapes and sizes as we navigate through our daily Hero's/Heroine's Journey.  And most of them are blessings in disguise, giving us greater insight into how to engage the same situations the next time they arise with a deeper understanding of care and compassion.  And guilt can be a wonderful tool to help us uncover the growth that is needed to engage these moments when we get a ‘do over’ of  similar events in our lives.  When we use the pain of guilt to try and learn and move forward through the past events that have occurred, we are what I call ‘painting with emotions’ on the canvas of our life.  In other words, constructively using our emotions as they were always meant to serve us.

SHAME on the other hand, can be a very destructive force in our personal experience.  Carl Jung said, “ Shame is a soul eating emotion.”  And when it shows up full force, each nibble it consumes becomes an agonizing exercise in self abuse.  This nasty and subversive feeling dictates and morphs our personal beliefs about our own self worth as a result of the actions we have committed.  It emphasizes what we erroneously think is WRONG with ourselves.   And the longer we stay in this incredibly painful vibration, the more we move away from the core truth about who we really are;  pure perfection and absolute LOVE.

So what can you do when you find yourself somehow being triggered by the dysfunctionally seductive force of such SHAME?!?!  One of the most magical elixirs is to BE THE SOURCE of assisting others in re-membering who they really are when they are feeling the same way. Perhaps the most valuable gift we can ever offer another is our raw vulnerability.  As Brene Brown writes, “When we deny our stories, they define us.  When we own our stories we get to write the ending.”  And by sharing our stories imbued with compassionate vulnerability with others, the end by product can be a support line to remind YOURSELF that you have wings when you've forgotten how high you can fly.  By daring greatly in this manner, you can slay the dragon of shame for both parties on the Love Line!

That's exactly what my friend did for me earlier this week.  And the result has been No Thing short of a Harry Potter worthy magic miracle!  By him being kind and vulnerable enough to share his current Journey, he actually assisted me in remembering WHO I REALLY AM.  And that is something much more loving and special than what I did.  And at the end of our chat, he shared with me that in his vulnerability, a great deal of his shame had been lifted and he was even gifted by Spirit with a new game plan for how to move forward in a greater sense of peace in his relationship!  

Remember The New Age Nerd's definition of a sin is to suffer without meaning.  When we use our suffering to first learn and grow ourselves, and then bring that deeper insight and understanding back to others from a place of service, we are living out our true Hero's/Heroine's Journey whether we realize it or not!

So please re-member, in the times when you are encountering the often confusing and  destructive emotion of SHAME, that you are seen by the Universe as pure LOVE and the brightest of Light.  If you find yourself super challenged to hold that space for yourself, seek out your ‘Search and Rescue’ team.  And if you don't yet have one, start NOW.  Get a blank notecard and write down a list of a few select Souls who have proven themselves as trust worthy in your life.  Individuals who will follow you into the darkness of the night, and pull you back into the light.  Give one of them a call and lean into their FAITH in you until you can hold it for yourself.  

And no matter what may have transpired in your past, it will NEVER change the fact that you are held as a magical miracle in this world always and in all ways!! 

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez






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