A SPECIAL Holiday TRIBUTE To My Father…. 🙏🏼

 

From Buena Vista Pictures: MR. HOLLAND'S OPUS

Back in Portland, Oregon circa 1965, the trained and talented music composer, Glenn Holland, decides to temporarily forgo his own artistically merited dreams and aspirations.  All so he can spend more time with his wife and deaf son. He somewhat reluctantly decides to accept a music teaching position at John F. Kennedy High School. All the while, behind many soulful scenes, attempting to create a profound orchestrated musical 'Opus.'  One that would be left behind as his own lasting legacy.

During the next 30 years as a music instructor and teacher, he unexpectedly unearths his own life's true CALLING!  Not anything he could have ever pre-planned, but something even greater than the life he always longed for.

Now forced into early retirement due to artistic budget cuts, Mr. Holland enters the music auditorium he called home for 30 years, for the very last time. But what he receives on this day is overwhelming and overtly, emotionally stirring, brewing with the TRUTH behind each of our own life's Superhero's Journey!


Gertrude Lang: (Mr. Holland's former student, now the Governor of Oregon, takes the stage full of Mr. Holland's former students)  Mr. Holland had a profound influence on my life and a lot of other lives I know. But I have a feeling that he considers a part of his own life misspent. Rumor had it he was always working on this symphony of his. And this was going to make him rich, famous, probably both. But Mr. Holland isn't rich, or famous, at least not outside of our little town. 

So it might be easy for him to think himself a failure. But he would be wrong, because I think he has achieved a success FAR beyond riches and fame. Look around you. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you.
We are your symphony, Mr. Holland. We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. 

WE'RE THE MUSIC OF YOUR LIFE!

Mr. Holland's orchestral piece, never performed in public, has been tastefully placed upon over a hundred of his former student's musical stands from the past 30 years; who are now willing and ready to perform for their own SUPERHERO up on center stage! Before they begin to play his own piece of orchestrated lifelong LOVE, they invite him up on stage to conduct his very own 'Life's Opus!' for an adoring crowd!



All of life itself is a grand, orchestrated series of musical notes! Written in the stars by a GOD who never skips a beat! Each and every day, we are creating our own Lasting Legacy through the musicality of our thoughts, words, and deeds. That's precisely why every generation's imprint on the fabric of the Universal tapestry that eventually unfolds the TRUTH of the state of our collective consciousness is so priceless! Please remember that you can always hide one's true nature from yourself, but never from the One God Mind herSELF! Try as you like, it's pure fodder for those Spirits who still believe spiritual fragmentation serves anyone still dazed and confused by the egoic illusion and allure of separation! 

And the more you ponder this Universal Law, the more your so called 'missteps,'  transform into the much needed back beats that although mostly unheralded, always become the relied upon benchmark that finally awakens you; actually enlightens you to this understanding: it's the most challenging of your own life's trials and tribulations that offers the greatest opportunity for 'Soul Filled' growth! And as Mr. Holland discovered, we must often leave behind the life we planned for, so that we may live the grander life that has always been waiting for us! 

The greatest spiritual masters have always taught it is through life's greatest PAIN, that you have the most to GAIN! And everlasting, soul filled prosperity can only be gained through the chambers of Collective Consciousness. The realm of eternity, that while never judges another's Journey, also totes a time travelled wisdom which always offers a perfectly 'orchestrated' understanding in course correction toward the Holy Grail behind every Superhero's Journey!

That being the completion of our individual life's CALLING, combined with the remembrance of the eternal growth and wisdom which always accompanies the core completion of our very own 'Musical Opus.'  One to be everlastingly heard through the brightest of GOD's Universal Musical Playmakers amongst the stars! 

What would it look like to start living your life in a manner in which you truly believed your every word, thought, and deed was actually a magnanimous note of your own personal OPUS held in reverent care by the UNIVERSE? In essence, the very 'beats' and so called 'realities' of your life were being created by both the conscious and unconscious choices you make during every moment in this illusion of time and space. Because, I come today as the bearer of great truth! For that is exactly how your own life has and will always be played out! I'll give you a few minutes for some much needed deep thought into the understanding I just dropped on all my fellow New Age Nerds!

First and foremost, please remember I stated your every word, thought, and deed was held in deep care and reverence by the YOU-niverse! Hopefully, that knowingness, in of itself, will help you all relax from any limiting belief based paradigms deeply planted and rooted in a state of FEAR and LACK.  Any default thought programs that have thwarted prior attempts meant to break you away from the illusions of the egoic mind and keeping you held in a vibration of being a VICTIM of all your prior life's circumstances. 

You are here for a specific reason. And you matter more than you could possibly imagine! And this Universe, in alignment with Albert Einstein's beliefs, is a place of utter compassion and forgiveness! 

Can I get a big 'ole "Hell Yes" up in this congregation. Because I know, although I have diligently practiced unification in all I say, think, and do, I have been far from perfect! Just sayin' and always praying'.   ;0) 

Luckily, I was a fortunate to have my very own 'Mr. Holland' in my life.  My father Roger Lee Poston. (Stepdad, but will always just be my Pop!)

Some believe that angels are ordinary souls who come into your life to help you believe in MIRACLES once again.  If this sentiment bares any truth, than I met my first ANGEL when I was still a young lad  My birth father had abandoned our family while we were living out in California, leaving my mom with two small children, little use of her right arm from a horrendous car accident, and absolutely no money.  But as Napoleon Hill always said, “Within every adversity, every failure, and every heartache there lies within it a seed of an equal or greater opportunity.”

Opportunity comes in many forms.  And often not wrapped in the way we would have ever imagined them to be.  Such was the case with Roger Lee Poston!  I first met this slice of Heaven's Heartthrobs when my mom moved my sister and I from California to Washington DC. (My birth father had abandoned us in Los Angeles, leaving my mom penniless and nursing a shattered arm from a hit and run accident!)  He was still a relatively young man and was friends with my mom's sister. They were both teachers just starting out on their career Journeys. Although we were in many ways an unlikely dynamic duo, it was absolutely ‘Friends at First Sight.’  He was a good ole' country boy from the pan handle of Virginia; think 'The Beverly Hillbillies' sans the ‘Beverly’ part.  He had thick, curly hair and despite his very best efforts, a dialect that was laced with the Southern twang garnered from growing up in a little town called Saltville, VA;  known as the ‘salt capital’ of the Confederacy during the Civil War. His face was quite pale; in fact I always teased him that he had three colors: white, red, and redder!  LOL  Pop was short and stocky with forearms and calves that rivaled those of Popeye.  

His aesthetic contrasted greatly with mine.  I was super skinny with straight, jet black hair and olive skin.  Leaner than a "fritter on a fryin' pan."  I was also painfully shy and introverted. (hard for anyone who knows me now to contemplate)  Due to the harsh traumas from early childhood, trust was an emotion that felt foreign to my sensibility.  I had been surrounded and raised by women until this extraordinary man appeared in my life. Suddenly, I was being introduced into the world of ‘guy stuff’ on a daily basis.  From comic books and 7-11 slurpees, to movies and batting cages, putt-putt golf and Spiderman early morning cartoons. The world suddenly exploded into a cacophony of glorious geekdom!  

And it wasn't just me; as he showered my sister, mother, and the rest of the Lapham (my mom's maiden name) clan with the same sense of love and reverence.  So when my mom set my sister and I down to let us know he had asked her to marry him, for the first time in my young life, my heart felt a sense of peace, and security.  I finally felt......... SAFE!  

I still remember the very first time I was able to garner the courage to call him DAD.  He was getting ready for work, and I paced back and forth just outside his bedroom door.  Practicing all the while, the manner in which I was going to approach him about it. I placed my ear up to the door and could hear him just about to emerge into our downstairs rec-room. My palms were sweaty and my heart was literally pounding out from my chest. Until, the door opened and as he walked out of the bedroom, I tentatively stepped in front of him and looked him square in the eye.   

“I have a question for you,” I said in a hushed voice.  It took all the intestinal fortitude I could muster, my bottom lip quivering just a bit, before finally garnering the courage to ask “Is it OK if I call you Dad?”

He stayed silent for a few precious moments which seemed like an eternity. He placed his right hand on my shoulder and said “Jeff, I have been waiting for you to ask me that for several years.  And there is nothing in this world that would make me happier!”  He then pulled me in for one of his well known "bear hugs" and then he started to cry.  Soon thereafter, tears started raining down my cheeks.

But it is what he said next, which has been permanently imprinted into my reverence and reverance of him.  “Jeff, just promise me one thing,” he said.  “Although I will ALWAYS consider you to be my son, if the day comes where you choose to try and meet Danny (my birthfather) I will always support you.  He was part of the process that brought you to me, and for that I will always hold a space of gratitude for Danny in my heart. And I will until the day I die.”  Now it's one thing to utter such good intentions, but my Dad did something I consider to be one of the most powerful testaments toward unconditional LOVE  I have EVER received. Despite many of the ugly acts that Danny brought about us in the years that followed, Dad never once spoke even one word of judgement or ill-will towards him.  I knew it was out of respect and still ponder in a complete vibration of awe whenever I think about this act of unfathomable respect for a man who caused my family so much pain.   

I contribute so much of who I AM to this man of undeniable strength and authenticity.  He taught me what it means to live life as a 'Gentle Man.' Here is just a sampling of his teachings to me:

~~  Never be afraid of your emotions Jeff.  One of the greatest signs of inner strength and courage is to never be afraid to cry.  In fact, I think as a whole, we shed more tears at the movies to fill an olympic sized swimming pool!

~~Women are the greatest gift to this world. And should be treated as such. If I ever find out you have mistreated a young lady, I will ‘kick you through the goalposts of life.’  If you want to find out what that looks like, test me! lol

~~ Don't ever let anyone confuse your kindness for weakness.  They are NOT the same thing.  Buyer beware!

Looking back, my Dad was the very first Superhero I ever met.  Not only did he work two, sometimes three jobs to put food on the table, but HE NEVER CALLED IN SICK IN 40 YEARS.  He considered his teaching occupation as 'JOYOUS PLAYING!'  Not working.  I never once heard him complain, even when I could see the toll of working 80 hour work weeks for over 20 years wearing him down to the bone.  He was a true warrior who lived a life that was completely personified by hard work and being of loving service, always and in all ways.   

This may be hard to believe, but I never saw him buy anything for himself.  He was much more concerned with making sure his students had anything they needed. Always quick to think of others during any trip to the mall.  “Hell fire Jeff.  The only thing I truly need is the love of your mother, you and Sandy,” (my sister) was his super heroic catchphrase!   

Always a man of his word, he never let me down one time during our several decades long relationship. And he didn't even need a 'Batsignal.'  His Spidey-sense was always set to surprise and service. Back in 1997,  when I spent almost a year in the hospital battling Crohn's disease, he came for a visit EVERY SINGLE DAY. All while working two jobs. And I mean it;  dsd never skipped one day, always sneaking in a tasty treat, a comic book or one of my favorite films.  

So in 2013, when he was diagnosed with a rare and devastating form of cancer, I had no problem leaving my job and moving into my parent's basement to help with the massive amount of daily care he required.  Although he fought the dis-ease so valiantly, the cancer eventually spread to his brain.  And he passed away in December of that same year.  

I was fortunate enough to be alongside his bed while he passed away. In fact, my mom, sister, aunt Rena, and my girlfriend at the time were all there holding vigil over him.  The manner in which he transitioned was as close to a MIRACLE as I have ever witnessed.  With only the use of one eye, he was truly able to connect to everyone there.  He lovingly gazed at each of us as we said our individual goodbyes.  But when he got to my side of the bed, his one eye intently glaring into mine without blinking, I felt .....  HEAVEN itself.  "Heaven on Earth!"  His soul was slowly leaving its body temple, while a precious piece remained so we could say goodbye.  While I leaned in close to him, thanking him for all the LOVE, support, and guidance he poured upon me, something magical happened.  I received a quick glimpse of a future period of NOW. Without saying a word, he was communicating with me in a manner far more clear than using any type of vernacular.  The best way I can explain it is to think of a portal opening up.  It contained images of what my life was to become.  And the message was crystal clear.  It was time for me to start committing to my own PURPOSE and beginning the next stage of my Superhero's Journey.  I felt a sense of peace and utter knowingness in that moment of what I needed to do.  

Dad took three, slow, deep breathes, and then transitioned back into the LOVE of BLISS.  And although I was understandably sad, he had, in those final moments, given me the greatest gift of all! KNOWINGNESS.  It was time for me to use my pain and suffering to become a Wounded Healer.  And for once, I wasn't afraid to take that leap.  My dad showed me a glimpse of the support behind the ‘Curtain of a Heavenly Oz.’  Once taking the smallest sip from source energy that was available to me in my dad's final breathes, I just knew the complete shift I was being asked to take in my life!

I wish that my own Superhero's Journey took a turn toward pain free redemption after those experiences. But the 'Universal Prose of Poetry' doesn't always begin devoid of pain.  In fact, I have come to understand that new beginnings often start with the pain of ending old relationships and situations that no longer serve us. But through my own travels, I have learned that letting go of anything that no longer serves us, creates and cleans out the space for the Universe to fill in that hole with All Things that are for our highest good!

So today I ask you; if you now perceived your life as a collaboration with a compassionate Universe that kept the individual notes and "Best of Beats" towards creating your own 'Optimum Opus,' eventually to be shared with the world, how might your thoughts, words, and deeds change? Towards both yourself and all others? Because, in all reality, that is exactly what we are all co-creating in every moment of NOW, as Mr. Holland was so gracefully taught! A multi-layered and majestic "Magnus Opus" for all ages!

BE SUPER HEROIC
LOVE-SERVE-INSPIRE

Nerdmaste,

Jeffery Louis Martinez

This STORY Of The LITTLE SOUL Will Permanently SHIFT Your Life

 

Back in 1996, I was caught in the middle of an incredibly vitriolic and spiteful business relationship that nearly cost me my life.  I had only been out of college for a couple of years and still finding my way in the wild and at the time wonderful world of television broadcasting.  After a three year stint working for WRC-TV (NBC-Washington, DC) as a sports producer and weekend sports anchor (Baltimore-NBC) for the ‘George Michael Sports Machine’, I decided that 80 hour work weeks and Holidays spent behind closed doors editing video tapes of college football games while chowing down on what I STILL THINK was cold turkey and stuffing was not the things my dreams were made of!  

So I landed a job for a local TV production company in the suburbs of DC. They produced a local half hour business program(that I shall refrain from naming for legal purposes) that promoted up and coming tech companies in the DMV area. The first year was a total BLAST! Here I was 25 years old, holding meetings with the likes of Steve Case of AOL, and Larry Ellison of Oracle. This is when the technology revolution was in its infant stage, and simply being around the icons who were prescient enough to see the future was mind blowing! And in the process I definitely got my MBA at the University of MIH- MAKE IT HAPPEN!  LOL  

During the second year of employment, my boss and then close friend asked me to relocate to San Francisco to start a West Coast version of the show in Silicon Valley. Where most of the influential tech companies were still setting up shop. I had been itching to to get back to the West Coast (I was born in LA) for years and jumped at the opportunity.  And for the first four months, I woke up every morning thinking I was in some sort of parallel Universe where dreams ALWAYS come true. It was the Land of OZ for the tech set! I had daily meetings with the CEO's of companies like Sun Microsystems, Yahoo, Google and Oracle. Although I sometimes felt out of my league, I NEVER let em see me sweat. And they accepted me as one of their own. Meetings by day and parties at night, all in one of the most beautiful and eclectic cities in the world! I was truly a STARGAZER collecting information and memories of a lifetime.  

And then, one October morning in 1996, I got an email from one of the companies I had met with the previous week.  They were calling me a fraud because I had told them the sponsors of the show which was to air on the local ABC affiliate were The Wall Street Journal and Dunn and Bradstreet.  The company had connections at both companies and they claimed they were in no way affiliated with the show. While reading the email, my heart began to pound arrhytmically!  I started having a major panic attack. They were threatening to send a letter to every tech company in San Francisco telling them that I was running a scam and to not accept meetings with me.  

I immediately called my boss back in Washington, DC to try and straighten out this unbelievable catastrophe ! After all, he was the one who told me those two entities were the sponsors of the show.  I was only repeating the information given to me by him and our company. After an explicit tirade, he fired me on the spot and told me I had 24 hours to vacate the apartment he had set up for me and the rest of the crew. Needless to say, I was shell shocked. What the HELL was going on, I thought.  

After having no other choice than to hire a lawyer, the TRUTH slowly unfolded like a guilty lover hiding his dalliances with the utmost discretion.  My boss had lied about the sponsors being on to the show.  In his infinite wisdom, he believed he could get REAL sponsors signed onto the show before anyone found out.  In the meantime, I was the company’s face man out on the West Coast.  The waiter serving food that had been screwed up by the cooks in the proverbial company kitchen.
To save his own ass, he blamed me for all the confusion and sent me to the awaiting wolves.

When I was fired I lost my health insurance and the massive amount of stress over the possibility that my reputation in the tech community was ruined, caused my Crohn's disease to spiral completely out of control.  By the time I was actually able to obtain decent health care, my doctors said my colon was so diseased that it was about to perforate. Which meant, instant death. I had lost an enormous amount of weight under the pressure of the previous few months and was actually too weak for the 12 hour surgery to have my colon removed.  But after a long chat with my doctor, I decided to take the risk of having the operation rather than waiting to regain enough weight and strength before going under the knife.  

The memories of the whole surgery and the almost 12 month recovery is still haunting to my soul.  It was excrutiating in ways human beings should never have to suffer. And let's say that wearing a colostomy bag at age 27 (thankfully I no longer wear the bag 🙏🏼) is not exactly a hit with the ladies!  lol  Even though it was hidden underneath my t-shirts, every time I passed gas, the bag blew up like a balloon, scaring the shit out of anyone in arms distance of me. Yeah, that's how I rolled!   

While recovering from this nightmarish ordeal, you can only imagine the amount of anger and frustration I had toward my former friend and boss.  He went so far as to forbid ANYONE in the company to visit me while I was in the hospital. There were days and nights in which I absolutely fantasized about ripping all the tubes from the hospital machines from my body and taking a taxi to his house to ummmmmmm...have a little chat!  With my fists acting as compassionate truth seekers!

I held onto that anger and pain of betrayal for quite a while.  In fact, at times it consumed my every thought.  Ironically enough, it was during this time that my current path of self realization started to take its core form. While still in the hospital, a friend of mine gave me a book called ‘The Celestine Prophecy’, and for the first time in my life I felt like I was home. A few weeks later I was finally released from the hospital and went straight to the nearest Barnes and Noble with that book firmly in hand.

I excitedly asked the nearest store clerk where this tomb could be found in the store.  And within a few yards jaunt, I was in a row that felt like ‘Conscious Christmas’ land.  Books after books of like energy to the one I had carried into the store. I bought about twenty of them and stormed back to my car to get home as fast as I could to begin what I know now to be the start of my own Super Hero’s Journey.

The first book I read is still the most influential on what would manifest into my own lifelong self actualization journey.  For within its prescient declarations the world of spiritual divinity and Universal Law felt like TRUTH to me. The book's title is ‘Conversations with God’ by Neale Donald Walsh.  Page after page was filled with wisdom and knowledge that fed my soul and strengthened my faith!  This was as close to feeling Heaven on Earth as I had ever felt!

And then something that transformed my understanding of human connection divinely blossomed  when I got to the section where Mr. Walsh told the story of ‘The Little Soul.’  And that parable struck a cord so deep within my consciousness that it still informs my daily interactions nearly twenty five years after reading it.  Here is the excerpt from the book itself:

There once was a little soul who knew itself to be the light.  This was a new soul, and so, anxious for experience. "I am the light," it said. "I am the light." Yet all the knowing of it and all the saying of it could not substitute for the experience of it. And in the realm from which this soul emerged, there was nothing but the light.

Every soul was grand, every soul was magnificent, and every soul shone with the brilliance of MY awesome light. And so the little soul in question was as a candle in the sun. In the midst of the grandest light- of which it was a part- it could not see itself, nor experience itself as Who and What it Really Is.

Now it came to pass, that the little soul yearned and yearned to know itself. And so great was its yearning that "I" one day said, "Do you know little one, what you must do to satisfy this yearning of yours?" "Oh what, God? what? I'll do anything!? The little soul said.

"You must separate yourself from the rest of us," I answered, "and then you must call upon yourself the darkness."

"You may choose to be any Part of God you wish to be," I said to the little soul.

"You are the Absolute Divinity, experiencing Itself. What Aspect of Divinity do you now wish to experience as you?"

"You mean I have a choice," asked the little soul.

I answered, "Yes." You may choose to experience any Aspect of Divinity in, as, and through you."

"Okay," said the little soul, then I choose forgiveness. I want to experience my Self as that Aspect of God called Complete Forgiveness."

Well, this created a little challenge, as you can imagine. 

There was no one to forgive. All I have created is Perfection and Love

"No one to forgive?" asked the Little Soul, somewhat incredulously.

"No one," I repeated. "Look around you. Do you see any souls less perfect, less wonderful than you?"

As the Little soul twirled around, and was surprised to see himself surrounded by all the souls in heaven. They came from far and wide throughout the Kingdom, because they had heard the little soul was having an extraordinary conversation with God.

"I see none less perfect than I," the Little Soul exclaimed." Who then, shall I have to forgive?"

Just then another soul stepped forward from the back of the crowd. "You may forgive me," said the Friendly Soul.

"For what?" the little soul asked.

"I will come onto your next physical lifetime and do something for you to forgive," replied the Friendly Soul.

"But what? What could you, a being of such Perfect Light, do to  make me forgive you?" the Little Soul wanted to know.

"Oh," smiled the Friendly Soul, I'm sure we can think of

something."

"But why would you want to do this?" The Little Soul could not figure out why a being of such perfection would want to slow down its vibration so much that it could actually do something "bad."

"Simple," the Friendly Soul explained," I would do it because I love you. You want to experience your Self as Forgiving, don't you? Besides, you have done the same for me."

"I have?" asked the Little Soul.

"Of course. Don't you remember? We've been All Of It, you and I.

 We've been the Up and the Down of it, and the Left and Right of it.

 We've been the Here and Now of it, and the Now and Then of it.

 We've  been the Big and Small of it, the Male and Female of it, the Good and Bad of it. We've been the All of it.”

"And we've done it by agreement, so that each of us might experience ourselves as The Grandest Part of God. For we have understood that.....

"In the absence of that which You Are Not, that Which You Are, is NOT.

"In the absence of 'cold,' you cannot be 'warm.' In the absence of 'sad,' you cannot be 'happy,' without a thing called 'evil,' the experience you call 'good' cannot exist.

If you choose to be a thing, something or someone opposite to that has to show up somewhere in your universe to make that possible."

The Friendly Soul then explained that those people are God's Special Angels, and these conditions God's Gifts.

"I ask only one thing in return, " the Friendly Soul declared.

"Anything! Anything," the Little Soul cried. He was excited now to know that he could experience every Divine Aspect of God. He understood, now The Plan.

"In the moment that I strike you and smite you," said the Friendly Soul, " in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could ever  imagine---in that self-same moment....remember Who I Really Am. For I will have forgotten."

"Oh, I won't forget!" promised the Little Soul. "I will see you in the perfection with which I hold you now, and I will remember Who You Are, always."

~~~ from Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh

And that is why Jesus the Christ, on the cross, looked to the prisoners also being crucified to his left and right and looked to the sky and said to SPIRIT, “Forgive them father, for they know Not what they do.”

That parable created a wave of conscious sensation that removed the veil of illusion from my shortsighted emotions toward my former friend and boss almost instantaneously.  He had given me an opportunity to learn the true and authentic power of FORGIVENESS.  And from that moment on, I decided to hold a space of LOVE and LIGHT for him for as long as I lived. 

In fact, had my friend NOT so horribly betrayed me, who knows when or IF I would have removed myself from the television marketing world! And instead follow the path of deep Spiritual Enlightenment which continues to fuel my own MISSION and Superhero’s Journey of raising the collective consciousness back towards the Unifying Power of LOVE! 

In what way does this story touch your feelings about the possible intentions behind the actions and words of those who have hurt or wronged you on your path?  Could it be that there is someone in your past or even in your life currently who stepped up on YOUR behalf to allow you the exact experience you chose to have on your Journey?!  And more importantly, have you remembered WHO THEY TRULY ARE when they caused you that strife and pain, because they chose to forget themselves as the ultimate gesture of Love and Compassion?   

It might be something worth pondering  as you continue on your own path and purpose of spiritual enlightenment !  I know it has saved me an enormous amount of resentment, pain and suffering. And my wish is that it does the same for you......


BE SUPER HEROIC

LOVE-LAUGH-SERVE-INSPIRE

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

How Your Life’s Biggest TRIALS are All BLESSINGS in Disguise..!

 

When the first trailers for the film ‘Miracles from Heaven’ began hitting the tv airwaves and multiplexes several years ago, I had mixed feelings about seeing the film.  While I always support spiritual based films, and absolutely ADORE its leading lady Jennifer Garner, the main narrative triggered some panful parts of my past.  Without giving any true spoilers, I will simply say the film is about a seemingly healthy young girl named Anna, from Ft. Worth, Texas who suddenly develops a life threatening and very rare intestinal disorder that send both her and her extended family on a challenging, painful, and FAITH testing journey.   

While it has been nearly 25 years since I had my own several year long experience battling severe Crohn's disease, many of the horrific memories still hang heavy on my heart and  I wasn't sure if this film would offer me an experience I was ready to engage.  But signs from Spirit kept appearing from, well, everywhere that recently prompted me to plop down my Regal Cinema card and see what “mythological magic” might be imbued within it's ‘based on a true story’ narrative.

What I found most profound is that while the film obviously focuses on the nightmarish journey a family of deep FAITH must face, the basic beats of the film are fairly universal and is a wonderful example of the Hero's Journey.  I could completely relate to being faced with an unthinkable challenge, not knowing exactly how to face it, and then “accepting the call”.  And then, baring witness to the MIRACLES that suddenly appear when we most need them to.  Sometimes they can be as simple as an unexpected phone call, or as grand as an accident(as in the film) that causes massive and completely unexpected results.  But, these Heaven sent events often DO NOT appear before we our brought to our knees with despair and our FAITH is shattered nearly to the point of no return.  

In fact, one late night when I was in the hospital for the third straight month with major complications from my Crohn's surgery, a priest walked by my darkened room and I turned my head to glaze into his eyes.  He had been making rounds into my room for weeks and so we had built up a mutual bond of confidence and safety.  He asked me if it was ok if he came in to the room to have a chat with me.  I softly shook my head yes and he slowly walked toward my bed.  He brought out his bible and laid it out near me.  He asked me if it was ok for him to have a serious talk.  In too much pain to worry about what he may say, I said, “Of course, Father.”

He sat pensive for a moment as though he was asking Spirit for the words to share with me.  He then grabbed my right hand and lightly squeezed it.  What he said next still informs my PURPOSE and paradigm for many of life's challenges to this day.  Leaning in close he softly said, “Jeff, I don't know why certain people are meant to suffer.  And I have seen you suffer more than most.  What I can tell you, is that God is testing you my son.”  

While I certainly appreciated his attempt to offer me his love, support, and kindness, his words just DID NOT ring true for me.  After he read some passages from the bible and blessed me, Father left for the night.  And I spent the next few hours prior to the sun's rising pondering what he had told me.  I knew that if I had a child, there is NO conceivable way I would put them through the many years of torturous suffering I had endured as a way of “testing” them.  In fact, it almost made me angry.  

The next few days were some of the more challenging and frustrating I faced during my many months laying in that hospital bed.  Mostly pondering that night's engagement with Father.  I knew that his intention was absolutely of pure intent, but facing the endurance test of a several year battle for your own life causes one to go deeper.  There is NO meaning left in simply “punching in and punching out” with life's daily time card.  

About a week later, after my mid afternoon meal (though an IV bag of course), a young boy about 8 years old passed by my room with his parents close by.  They peered in, and and the young lad asked me if I would like to challenge him to a race.  He was fraught, skinnier than a fritter on a frying pan, pale as Casper the ghost and completely bald.  He was hooked up to an IV, but he carried it with a grace as if it was a powerful staff.  

I felt like HELL and was in an enormous amount of pain, but the courage and strength that this young HERO radiated gave me the instant gumption to hop out of bed and walk toward him.  His parents profusely apologized for their son having interrupted me.  I assured them it was my pleasure to meet them all.  I slowly bent down and asked him his name.  “Peter,” he said.  “And I know I can beat you in a race down the hallway!”  Never one to back down from a challenge, even from an 8 tear old, I said,  “ You bet!  We are both going to need to get our strength back up for when we get out of the hospital. ”  

At which point, his mother touched me on the shoulder, and slowly shook her head NO as a small tear strolled down her face.  I knew exactly what she meant.  Peter was not going to be going home.  He was obviously dying from cancer.  It took every ounce of conviction I had to keep from breaking down right then and there.  I took a few deep breaths and addressed Peter again.

“Ok, Peter, you're on.  Let's race down to the edge of the nurse's check in office.  Whoever gets there first shall forever be known as the Race Champion King of George Washington Hospital!”  Peter's parents began a countdown and then we were off.  I started off fast, and then slowed down to let Peter catch up to me, and eventually let him beat me by a a couple of  feet!”  I have witnessed kids on Christmas morning who were not nearly as thrilled as Peter was in that moment.   He began spinning and dancing, and waking his arms in the air.   And then,  Spirit created an opening of KNOWINGNESS that stays with me to this day.  

We aren't made to suffer and be utterly challenged because God is trying to TEST us.  It suddenly came to me that these experiences, albeit hard as hell at times, give us the ultimate experience of having OPPORTUNITIES.  As Napoleon Hill said, ”Your biggest opportunity stands exactly where you stand right NOW.”  For instance, the greatest thrill of my life was in the OPPORTUNITY of letting little Peter experience the feeling of wining our race that day nearly 20 years ago.   Without our pain, suffering, and challenges, we would not have so many of the opportunities that carry with them the majestical miracles that life has to offer.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “ Never lose the opportunity of seeing something beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting.”

Please do not misunderstand me, I am not trying to condone or make light of the plethora of tragedy, loss, pain, and suffering we all endure at some point in life.  Nobody s exactly sure of their full purpose.  Life can be BRUTAL.  Even soul crushing at times.  We often lose our faith and belief in any form of a higher power.   But rather than looking at them as TESTS, what would it look like for us  to embrace them for what they truly represent.    Opportunities for MIRACLES to surround and support us.  And for US to BE THOSE MIRACLES for others. In the form of love, compassion, kindness, generosity of spirit, and understanding.  THAT is why we are here and without these OPPORTUNITIES  we would not be able to experience the glorious feelings they can bring.  

Towards the end of the film,  Anna's mother gives a speech to her church's congregation:

“When Anna got sick, I couldn't understand. Why?.....I felt helpless, alone..Angry that our prayers weren't being answered. I lost my faith.  Albert Einstein said there are only two ways to look at life.  One is that everything is a miracle.  The other is that nothing is a miracle.  Miracles are goodness....from strangers...to dear friends who are there for us no matter what...Miracles are LOVE...Miracles are GOD and GOD's forgiveness.  Why was Anna healed when there are so many other children around the world suffering?   I don't know.  But, I do know that I am not alone. And neither are you........Because miracles surround us, and miracles are God's way of letting you know you are not alone”

And if you find yourself in a point in life where there seems to be no MIRACLE in sight.....

GO BE ONE FOR SOMEONE ELSE........

BE SUPER HEROIC!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

Learn To Make The BEST Of Whatever CARDS Life Has Dealt You

  

I have never been the best player of card games.  I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve, which means my ‘Poker Face’ is less mercurial and more merciful.  Thankfully, through tons of missteps and rebirths, I have learned to be a much better player with the cards I am dealt by life! THANK  YOU SPIRIT!

However, not everyone wakes up on a daily basis and looks at the cards that were dealt into their experience and thinks, “Heck yeah!  I can win with this hand!  Damn straight!”  More often their inner monologue sounds more like, “Oh boy!  Why me?  What the heck am I supposed to do with this pile of crap I've been dealt?!”  Sound familiar?  I know I've felt that way more than a few times.

I believe one of the biggest differences between success and failure within this realm is how you choose to play the hand of cards you have been dealt.  It's important to understand during our own Superhero's Journey that we succeed because of our challenges NOT despite them.  As Napoleon Hill famously stated, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache brings with it an equal seed of benefit and opportunity.”

In fact, Joseph Campbell shared in his infinite wisdom, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”  He taught the importance of seeing your EXACT set of circumstances as being the most precious gift ever given to each and every one of us.  Because in the history of this world, NOBODY has been besought with the same set of challenges as you have been given.  And guess what, your exact set of challenges will never be the same for ANYONE else ever again.  That is how absolutely and completely UNIQUE you were created to be.  Kinda helps shift your perspective and life's circumstances from your life's symphony back towards ‘opportunities for growth,’ doesn't it!  

In fact, Joseph Campbell shared in his infinite wisdom, “(Frederick) Nietzsche was the one who did the job for me.  At a certain moment in his life, the idea came to him of what he called "the love of your fate."  Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, "This is what I need." It may look like a wreck, but go at it as through it were an opportunity, a challenge.  If you bring love to that moment-not discouragement-you will find the strength is there.  Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life.  What a privilege! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow."   

He taught the importance of seeing your exact set of current circumstances as being the most precious gifts ever bestowed upon each and every one of us.  Because in the etches of time held within the history of this plane's existence, NOBODY has been besought with the same set of challenges as have you.  And guess what, your exact set of challenges will never be the same for anyone else ever again.  That is how absolutely and completely UNIQUE you were created to BE.  Kinda helps shift your previous perspective on your life's ‘opportunities for growth’ doesn't it!  

One of my favorite stories from Mr. Campbell has to do with the Knights of the Round Table. Before this group of Medieval Superheroes awaited their next quest, they would surround a table full of food and drink and wait for a sign of where they were to go next.  One particular such evening, the Holy Grail appeared above the table before them, burning with its light of majestic glory.  And then, without warning, its image vanquished back into the ether.  Each Knight stood up, ready to search for this relic of such magic and grandeur!  They grabbed their shields and swords and headed outside the castle and ran toward the massive forest surrounding them.  The most fascinating aspect of their quest was that they each tried to enter the forest at its most DENSE space.  In fact, the competition to find that space was filled with a fierce and combative fervor.  For these Knights knew that every great quest begins with the greatest of difficulty.  They actually chose to take on the toughest hand of cards that could be dealt to them.  For they were aware of the great wisdom that comes from pain and strife.  That's why my definition of 'to SUFFER' is :

Summoning our
Ultimate
Fears &
Frailty
Encouraging
Rebirth

I was watching a story about the Saint Benedict's Preparatory School for boys last week in Newark, NJ.  The school has recently become a sanctuary for the lost and wayward.  The area surrounding this  citadel has a high school graduation rate of less than 30%.  Yet the graduation rate at St. Benedict's is 98%.  Even though the majority of the students are underprivileged, the tuition rate is $10K a year.  The majority of the students do not have the funds to cover their schooling costs, yet this spiritual institution somehow covers every students tuition in someway. Where there is a will there is truly a way!

There was a portion of the story that touched me so deeply that I have to share it.  There was a 16 year old young man whose parents were both drug addicts and horribly abusive to him in their household.  It was tumultuous enough that he decided to leave his house, and live on the street. A tough hand of cards for most of us to even fathom.  Yet this purposeful young man had BIG plans for his life.  Despite his numerous challenges, he decided he was going to play the cards he was dealt with a passion for success and a fervor for service and potential.  So he started sneaking into the pool which housed the school's water polo team after practices. For several weeks, nobody noticed that he wasn't a member of this prestigious academy.  However, one day, a coach approached him and asked him why he was sneaking into the school's sporting water polo facilities.  The young man said his parents were drug addicts and he had been living on the street for over three months.  He knew he didn't have the tuition money to attend the school, so he decided the best he could do was take advantage of the extracurricular activities.  When the young man asked the coach if he should leave, do you know what his response was to this brave individual.  “BE HERE MONDAY!”  And I thought, what a perfect mantra for our lives.  No matter what challenges we face, or what fear and pain stand in our way, the most courageous way to turn our pain into PURPOSE, is simply by committing to BE HERE MONDAY.  A wonderfully colorful metaphor for simply showing up each day to face your life's challenges!

What are the ways you can reframe the cards you have currently been dealt in life and turn them into a winning hand?  Because, you were dealt these cards for a reason.  And it is your job to figure out where there are opportunities for a deeper wisdom through facing your challenges head on!  All to assist you on your Superhero's Journey!  And in turn, eventually sharing this bevy of knowledge so that we may all eventually sip from this chalice of hard fought love!  Because that's a hand worth playing on anyone's poker table!!

BE SUPER HEROIC!

BE LOVE - SERVE - LAUGH-INSPIRE

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

HARNESS The Transcendental Power Of THE DO OVER…!

 

Growing up in the 80's, Bill Murray was one of my comic superheroes.  As I am quite sure he still is for many fans of comedy.  But there is one particular film of his that is much more profound for its inherent nature of sharing many truths about the path to self improvement. The film is called ‘Groundhog Day’ and if you have yet to see it, I highly suggest carving out some time in the near future to do so!  

The film is also a wonderful representation of one of life's greatest gifts, that being the delectable DO OVER.  And for those of us who use this magnificent opportunity whenever it presents itself in our lives, it's perhaps the most effective manner in which to be RE-BIRTHED into a 'Greater Version of The Greatest Vision' of yourself!  

In the film, Bill Murray's character gets caught up in a ‘time loop’ that has him reliving the exact same day, Groundhog Day in fact, over and over.....and OVER again!  Each morning as he awakes, the day starts EXACTLY as it did the day before.  As he progresses through each day, he is confronted at the same time by the exact set of individuals and circumstances from the day before. A virtual life glitch that has no ON/OFF button he can find.  

Murray plays an obviously discontented meteorologist who believes the menial task of traveling to Punxsutawney, PA to cover this annual event is way beneath his talent and good sensibilities.  Like most films transcendent in nature, there are many lenses through which the manner in which the story unfolds can be interpreted.  For me, it is a superb metaphor for the way that the Universe, sensing a need, will essentially RECREATE a very similar set of circumstances in our lives from the past, giving us the opportunity to engage them (hopefully) with a new earned sense of understanding and change in perspective;  basically we are given the gift of a DO OVER!  And very often, if the prerequisite lessons are not learned, the Universe has absolutely NO problem setting up the circumstances once again, until we finally grasp the knowledge and wisdom these events were provided for.  Some of us are perhaps slower learners than others, and that is OK! Just don't make a Broadway show out of it. Cause nobody wants to buy a ticket to that show! Just sayin' and prayin! lol

The movie plays out such an example on DAY 3 of this perpetual GROUNDHOG DAY. Murray's character once again steps in the middle of a large muddy puddle, ruining his shoes and pants, still not having learned his lesson from the previous two days. Sound familiar?! Filled with self judgement, he begins to fail into a deep sense of despair about his actions and choices in life; invariably repeating themselves over and over again.  Again, does that resonate with you?!  It sure does with me!  LOL  That night in a local bar, he decides to drown his sorrows with booze and says, “I was in the Virgin Islands once.  I met a girl.  We ate lobster and drank pina coladas.  At sunset we made love like sea otters. THAT was a pretty good day.  Why couldn't I get that day over and over again?”  Ah, but what lessons could be drawn from reliving a magnificent day such as that?  No, we receive far more wisdom and knowingness from reliving situations that caused us despair, pain, and suffering. For in this dimension, pain is always the perfect professor! At at its core, that is exactly what a DO OVER is all about!

In fact, I am currently in the middle of a DO OVER myself. And I couldn't be more THRILLED!  I mean how often have you ardently prayed for a chance to go back in time and relive a set of experiences, already knowing how you would engage them with a higher sense of care, consideration, and intent?  Well guess what, the Universe has this paradigm built into its programming.  And when there are certain lessons and wisdom that are needed to complete your Superhero's Journey, the Universe, like a genie in a ‘life circumstantial’ bottle, will offer you the opportunity that you seek.  You will inevitably receive a DO OVER that mimics many of the same set of circumstances as something that has transpired before.  Just like MAGIC!  All in the hopes that this time, you will grasp the gift and opportunity at hand, and receive this gift with reverence and awareness!  

Murray's character Phil, after sensing there is nothing he can do but ACCEPT his situation of reliving each day over and over again, finally succumbs to his reticence about the situation and begins an arc of self improvement.  He begins practicing generosity, reading books, taking piano lessons, and even learning French!  Admittedly, many of his actions are at first all in an attempt to impress his crush and TV producer Rita.  It isn't until Phil (Murray) begins to 'Let Go and Let God' and allow the changes he has made in himself to be experienced and noticed by those around him in a truly authentic manner, that he wakes up and it is FINALLY February 3rd, the day AFTER Groundhog Day. His lessons learned, his purpose now clear, he is allowed to continue on with his life!  

What I find quite fascinating, is that the film's late director and comic genius in his own right, the late, great Harold Ramis has been quoted as saying Phil (Murray) needed close to 30-40 years of reliving the same day to have the lessons he needed for his Superhero's Journey to be fully engrained in his sense of BEING.  And as harsh as that may sound, I know  it has taken me many hard fought years in finally coming to the understanding and full comprehension of many of my own life lessons!  There are many more I am still working on!   And, if you are truly honest with yourself, I am quite sure the same rings true for you! Capiche?!

Life is a constant Superhero's Journey, that allows us many opportunities to learn from our past missteps and is more than gracious in sending us as many DO OVERS we may need, until we receive with deep reverence the knowledge and understanding they were born to deliver. However, it is up to us to stay AWARE.  We are often so consumed with LIFE, that we are not present enough to recognize that circumstances are lining up in such a transformative and magical manner to allow us to relive our own version of Groundhog Day for the wisdom it can bring.  And when we are fortunate enough to have the Universe bless us with such a gift, enter into it with verve, gusto, and no fear!  Become a SOUL'dier of Love, and a 'Steward of Remembrance' to extract every juicy amount of wisdom the opportunity was brought to unfold into your experience! 

But buyer BE AWARE, if you chose NOT to learn from these blessed gifts of DO OVERS, they WILL RETURN.  So it's your call!  Do the work NOW, or later. Either way, eventually it must be done!   

And take it from me, the longer you wait, the harder it is and the more it hurts!  


BE SUPER HEROIC!

LOVE-SERVE-INSPIRE

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez