Yesterday, I was watching an episode of Super Soul Sunday and a horrifying fact was presented that stopped me in my spiritual tracks. It had to do with a recent Harvard University study that asked 10,000 high school students the following question. If your parents were asked what mattered to them more, good grades or being nice and kind to others, what would they say? And do you know that 80% said that their parents would say grades without hesitation. Are you KIDDING me?!? I literally became sick to my stomach while watching this part of the episode. Not to mention extremely saddened by what I was hearing. Mind you, in many ways I wasn't surprised, as we have become such a hyper competitive society where the “Best of the Best” are rewarded and given the royal treatment and the key to many of their dreams while the rest of us search for the left over morsels and scraps.
The episode profiled David Brooks and his book ‘The Road to Character.’ His humble demeanor and obvious self awareness won me over instantly. “I wrote this book to save my own soul. I was born with a natural disposition toward shallowness. I now work as a pundit and columnist and blowheart, to volley my opinions, ....I have to work harder than most people to avoid a life of smug superficiality,” he writes.
He recalls an experience he had in Frederick , MD where he met with a group of women in their 50's and 60's who all taught immigrants English. Over taken by their compassion and kindness, and the manner in which they accepted him with love and joyful openness had a deep effect on his Soul. And this began a transformative change in his life. His inner being was shown glimpses of the LIGHT that surrounds us all but is taken in and shared by few.
According to Brooks, Fame is the new definition of character. Which is in and of itself a declaration of our society at its basic level in our current times. That same Harvard study asked how many people thought they were going to be famous and the answer was 80%. Compared to just 10% back in the 1950's when the same same survey was done. The times they are a changin!! And much of it stems from our lack of true integrity and CHARACTER!
So what are the basic tenets that make up a Character that we can all strive towards in our daily lives. While some of Brooks answers to this question are quite basic, they are pragmatic and useful as well. For instance, he says one commonality he sees in people of great character is “consistency over time. Despite lust, greed, or hunger, the things that lead one's character are long term like honesty and courage. They can be counted on over time.”
Accurate self awareness from a distance is yet another tenet Brooks thinks is missing from our current generational makeup. We are all in competition for fame and noticeability. Hello KARDASHIANS!! “The noise of fast and shallow communications makes it harder to hear the quiet sounds that emanate from the depths. We live in a culture that teaches us to promote and advertise ourselves and master the skills required for success , but that gives little encouragement for humility, sympathy and honest self confrontation which are necessary for building character,” he declares in his book.
Even our vernacular has changed dramatically over the last 50 years. A study done has shown that words like kindness, humbleness, gratitude, and honor have dropped over 60% in our daily usage. SCARY!! Yet economic terms have risen by over 80%.
The episode also highlighted individuals who helped build this country on the backs of their moral character. People like Doris Day, who dedicated her entire life toward helping those in need. Paying herself no salary throughout her entire life. Don't get me wrong, there are indeed sweet souls on our planet who use their every ounce of BEINGNESS in the name of service. But like chivalry, it is slowly becoming a relic for our history books rather than a new generation of individuals who we can write stories about in our current tales of moral character and integrity.
“What suffering does is it takes us below the everydayness of life and reminds us we are not who we think we are. It carves beneath what is the basement of our soul, carves through the floor and reveals the cavity below. It introduces us to ourselves.”
New Age Nerd readers know that this principle is something I espouse in most of my daily blogs. That is through our suffering that we gain our selves. That our pain leads to our power, our wounds heal to reveal our wisdom. And in my humble option , this is the beginning stages of true CHARACTER. To have the strength to face our own demons having NO idea what lies on the other side. But having the FAITH to travel to these dark and morose places anyway, with the KNOWINGNESS that our purpose is seeded within the darkness. Those with the greatest CHARACTER have the ability to face these shadows knowing that the end result will be their ability to help and assist others to do the same.
Let's stop playing the Fame game. The Shame game. The Fear Game. And start building back the type of individual CHARACTER that can be one of the saving graces of our current times. What do ya think?!? Can you think of ways that you can improve your character in ways large and or small and be an INSPIRATION for others. If I may suggest one thing, it would be to put our priorities in order. The POWER of Love must TRUMP (wink) the Love of Power. Secondly, please re-member always and in all ways that the ONE thing people will re-member about you is the way you made them feel. You may be the only bible, torah, koran in human form or authentic connection of kindness they have experienced. It's the smallest gestures of kindness that keep the darkness of this world at bay....
Let me ask you to ponder another question. Are you following your passions? How much time are you spending toward actions of service toward Re-minding others who they truly are and what they truly have the ability to be. Stop trading time for a paycheck from work that does not serve you. Or others in any real meaningful way. And be an example of the type of CHARACTER that allowed this world to flourish during times when there was much less money and technology than we have today..........
BE SUPER HEROIC!
Nerdmaste,
Jeffrey Louis Martinez
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