STOP OVERTHINKING..... Here Is The REASON Why..!!

No matter how much Self Realization work we have done on ourselves, there seems to be one common thread that tends to crop up in our day to day actions.  I like to refer to it as visits from the “Monkey Mind” but you may have your own better served term for this malady of epidemic proportions.  It tends to appear with more reckless abandon with us sensitive types and wounded healers, at least this is my experience.  As a mentor once told me, “Jeff, you are an emotional genius.  But your greatest strength can become your undoing if you let it.”  I liken it to my own form of kryptonite.    My mind can over think most any situation with emotional abandon in which I can pretty much think my way out of or into any situation I desire. Now in some ways you may be thinking that's not such a bad thing.  And in some ways it truly isn't!  HOWEVER, when this ‘GIFT’ of sorts causes me to oscillate back and forth between making a firm decision, it isn't exactly the things that concrete choices are made of!  In fact, it can drive a person crazy.  Not...that...I ..would know anything about that.....lol  ;0)

Now please do not misconstrue my meaning of this posts's topic.  I am a BIG and staunch proponent of the power of THINKING!   As so long as WE are using our mind in this process rather than the other way around.  As Yoda would say, our mind is a powerful alley.  But we are its master, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.  And this becomes particular problematic when lose our connection to Source energy and believe we are going about things completely by ourselves.  Because THAT can become one of the most harrowing thoughts of all!!  It's akin to starting to build a house or a business with no concrete plans.  Aye dios mio!!!   That's why so many of us freeze in our tracts and never take another action step toward our goals.  it just seems like too much is at stake, including our fragile EGO!  Right?!!?   Exactly!!

Think about something for just a minute.  How much would this world of ours change literally overnight if we did what we are capable of doing and not what we are COMFORTABLE doing?!?  Gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!  New technology being born, answers to poverty and destitution being eradicated.  It literally BOGGLES the mind!!  At least this New Age Nerd's noggin!

Unfortunately, we would rather stay in our place of comfort, with a daily agenda that offers little to no variance, so that we know we cannot fail.  The biggest problem with that Paradigm is that it keeps our most hearfelt desire and dreams, the type that could revolutionize the world tucked hidden deeply inside our own BEING.  AND that serves NO ONE!!

SO what is a possible answer to this issue of overthinking that has taken over our society like a version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  My suggestion is to stop thinking so much(No I didn't say STOP THINKING, I said stop thinking with the Monkey Mind) and start to FEEL more.   After all, FEELINGS are the guideposts to the Soul.  They help us understand if we are in or out of alignment with your purpose.  Feelings and their not so distant cousins, EMOTIONS, are the tools we use to paint the desires we wish to manifest in the real world.  We can think until the cows come home, but until we feel our emotions and then use those emotions to fuel our ACTIONS, NO THING tangible will ever be accomplished!  Capiche?!  Fantastic!!

In fact, one of my favorite quotes comes from author Jeff Brown who says, “ Repressed emotions are unactualized spiritual lessons.”  To that I would like to add, please DO NOT make a Broadway show out of your feelings and emotions.  NOBODY and I mean No One wants to buy a ticket to a show that has well overstayed its welcome!  Trust!!  LOL

Here is a trick I use that combines both thinking AND feelings for my highest good.  When I find myself thinking a great deal, I stop and ask myself how those thoughts are making me FEEL.  I'm not a proponent of being impetuous so I will continue to check in with myself when these thoughts tend to arise.  And what I have ascertained by using this technique, is that the TRUTH about these thoughts and their purpose in my life seem to surface the more I continue to listen to my FEELINGS about them.  Does that make sense?!  I hope it does!

Perhaps the most important thing to Re-member  is that WE ARE NOT OUR EVERY THOUGHT!  Our society has become conditioned to believe we are what we think.  And that is pure anarchy, not to mention causes an inordinate amount of senseless pain and suffering.  I know I would be in a permanent psych ward if I allowed myself to believe all the thoughts about myself that tend to sneak into my daily brain waves!  :0)   No, I'm serious...lol  Again, our thoughts ARE an incredibly powerful tool that when we learn to harness with focused intention  help to create our reality.  BUT, our Inner Critic or EGO, will often fly its freak flag within our minds eye to create thoughts to keep us feeling small, worthless, and disconnected from Source.  And most of the world's collective suffering stems from our identification with THOSE THOUGHTS!  Which aren't even TRUE!!  That's why it is SO important to constantly check in with what you are FEELING.  Because if we are feeling self doubt, worry, or worthless, it is our SOUL telling us that its time to change our THOUGHTS.  Re-member, WE HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER OUR THOUGHTS.  And thus, we are also the master over how we FEEL!!

If this shift from thinking to feeling seems overwhelming, that is OK.  There is no need to shift your entire Paradigm overnight.  Instead, just start being the silent observer of your thoughts.  And slowly you will come to realize that YOU are the observer of the thoughts and NOT the thought themselves.  AND this is a breakthrough of Gi-normous proportions!  

And secondly, learn to trust your feelings and emotions.  They are there for a reason.  To serve your highest good. and assist you on your Hero's Journey!  As Darth Vader told Luke, “Search your feelings.  You know they are true!”   And they are your obedient servant to guide you along your daily path!

Combining your thoughts with your feelings are a magical potion that can transform our lives in the most unexpected and powerful of ways!  It just takes some practice to understand how these two aspects of our lives can be used in harmony to manifest a life that benefits and serves us all!!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

Here Is The TRUTH About The PROCESS of SELF GROWTH..!!

TODAY'S INSPIRATIONAL “MYTHOLOGICAL MAGIC”

YES MAN

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Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of having the persistent COURAGE to take a path toward Self Realization is the cacophony of times you may have to ‘Fall off The Horse’ of your HEART as a natural part of the transformational process.  And has anyone reading actually ever fallen off of a real horse.   I have and let me tell ya, my tushie still smarts from the thought of it!!  NO FUN!!  It hurts like hell and is ALMOST equally embarrassing.  Luckily for me, my high jinx while horsin' around were way before cell phones were in everyone's pockets, just waiting to capture such precious memories!!  LOL  So you will just have to use your imaginations.............


I use this metaphor as a way of introducing you to a very common phenomenon that invariably occurs as soon as you make a clear and conscious DECLARATION to the Universe of who you now CHOOSE TO BE!  And it usually unfolds something along these literal lines.  You do an amazing amount of meditating, reading, workshops, seminars, coaching and come to that magical AH HA moment of realization in which blocks and/or limiting beliefs are seen for the ego illusions that they actually are, and your body tingles with GODBUMPS!!  You know the feeling I am talking about if you are on this path!  And suddenly, its party time!  Yeaaaaaa for me!   I am growing, learning, and raising my personal level of consciousness.  All is good in the world and the horizon seems unlimited in its potential of future manifestations.  Is any of this resonating so far?!  For many of you, I am sure it is hitting a chord of commiseration.  

And then, out of the blue, your world becomes flooded with the EXACT OPPOSITE people, experiences, and circumstances from the new vibrational declaration you have fought so valiantly toward.  Toxic Ex boyfriends and/or  girlfriends start showing up out of the blue.  Events that once triggered you into egoic and low energy vibrations start manifesting no matter what way you turn.  And you begin to believe one of two things; either you are slowly going looney tunes, or all this self transformational work is complete and total bullshit!!  Trust me, I've been there on several occasions. In fact, at one point, this phenomenon caused me to grab a dark black ink magic marker to start ‘HIGHLIGHTING’ some of my favorite passages from the pastiche of transformative books in my collection.   Well, (Marking through a paragraph in all black ink) never have to read that passage again!  Don't believe me, I have the blackened passages to prove it!!!  Just sayin......    ;0)

All this changed when a past mentor sat me down to set me straight.  And I will now share his wisdom with you!  The moment that you make this declaration of WHO YOU NOW CHOOSE TO BE, everything unlike it will flood into your existence.  BUT IT IS NOT A TEST.  I repeat, this is NOT about the Universe trying to test your essence.  It isn't set up that way.  Life isn't a game, nor is your experience of it.  It's serious spiritual stuff transpiring here!  Now what is occurring is SOURCE energy allowing you the most precious of OPPORTUNITIES.  In this realm we traverse through 7 different levels of energy at any given time, and this is simply the Universe's way of double checking that this new YOU is truly what you DESIRE.  And please learn to accept and be in complete gratitude of this often incredibly challenging process.  Think about it for a minute.  Given our society's prevalent  ADHD and oscillation in our decision making process, aren't you thankful that the system gives you time to make sure our impetuousness is not clouding our new TRUTH?!?   I know I sure am!  I can't fathom what my life would look like if the transformation of my Hero's Journey shifted on every emotional whim that crossed through my complex internal processing Paradigm.   While it might make for a terrific episode of E! True Hollywood Stories it certainly wouldn't support my highest vision!  And that is just plain old keepin it real!!  Who is with me?!?

So how do we measure our progress through these moments of opportunistic deluges?!  The answer is fairly simple!  We GAUGE the time we spend in allowance of these disruptions to distract us from our new TRUTH!  In fact, I will share with you exactly what I mean with a recent experience of my own when I temporarily fell of my horse for a young lady I recent met..  As I have disclosed in many previous posts, given my traumatic childhood, I had a long standing pattern of chasing after women who were emotionally unavailable, and/or treated me in a manner that was much less than I deserved.  I ignored red flags the same way so many of us ignore the stoplight as it turns yellow to mean GO FASTER!!  LOL   Seriously!  For many years, LOVE to me equalled struggle, chaos, and having to prove that I was worthy of someone's care and attention.  As pathetic as it sounds, it was something conditioned and imprinted into my psyche from a very early age when my father abandonded the family when I was a mere three years old.  That led to many years of various abuse at the hands of my caretakers that had a lasting impact on my conditioning about what relationships should look like.  

After years of self work, I know I have made significant progress toward healing these dysfunctional patterns and my own level of self worth has skyrocketed in the process.  Thank you God!!  Well the past couple of weeks, I have been communicating with a lovely young lady who seemed spiritual and kind and incredibly conscious.  THEN, some red flags started to rear their nasty head, all cumulating in a very painful, caustic, extremely judgmental interaction last evening that lasted into the wee hours of the night.  Now five years ago,  I would have stayed up all night writing her an email to try and make amends with our night's painful co-creation!  But NOT THIS NIGHT!!  No way Jose!  
I decided to be a true Lightworker and shine my new found level of self worth into her darkness.  I did not allow her to dim my light!!  Five years ago, I would have woken up this morning as a basket case.  Full of self judgment and self loathing.  And spending an inordinate amount of time trying to make amends from last nights escapades.  But NOT on this day. I have not responded back to her caustic texts and actually hold her in a place of absolute reverence.  But FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM!!!  I am still LOVING her, but it is perfectly OK to love someone from the other side of the room!!  And just think of the birthday and Christmas card money  I am going to save on this year!!  LOL

The ultimate point I wish to convey in this post is that the path toward self mastery is a never-ending process.  And just when we think we have graduated from a lesson in our pattern, it often has a funny way of resurfacing just when we are ready to bask in the light of our accomplishments!  And the real truth of the matter is that there is no Right or Wrong with whatever way you decide to go.  Either fall back with the crows, or lift off and fly with the Eagles!  It all comes down to who you truly choose to be and manifest next in life!  

As Neale Donald Walsh says in “Conversations with God” “Never do anything in relationship out of a sense of obligation. Do whatever you do out of a sense of the glorious opportunity your relationship affords you to decide, and to be, Who You Really Are.”

Again, please Re-member when these past people and circumstances come back into your life, it is of your Highest Choice to acknowledge them as the ultimate OPPORTUNITY for you to finalize a new contact with the Universe of WHO YOU NOW CHOOSE TO BE!   And when the flood waters start to recede, it will leave a clear path for that which you now desire to experience to find IT'S way into your experience!


Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

Life Gotcha DOWN..... Learn How a DO OVER Might Be Your Lifeline to BLISS...!!

Today's Inspirational “MYTHOLOGICAL MAGIC”

FROM DAREDEVIL ON NETFLIX

Young Matt Murdock: So what kind of training is this?

Stick: You like ice cream?

Young Matt Murdock: Yeah.

Stick: Then shut up and eat it. I'll ask the questions. First thing you gotta understand is nobody feels sorry for you and nobody ever will. 'Cause when it comes to being born lucky you won the friggin' lottery.

Young Matt Murdock: I did?

Stick: [Smacks him with his cane] What did I say about questions?

Young Matt Murdock: "Shut up."

Stick: Good. How old were you when you got blinded?

Young Matt Murdock: Nine.

Stick: Nine? So you had nine whole years of looking at movies, blue skies, up girlies' skirts that I never had. I was born blind. You don't hear me whining about it, do you?

Young Matt Murdock: No.

Stick: So, you're nine years old, walking along, minding your own business and whammo! Get hit by a truck, killed dead on the spot.

Young Matt Murdock: I wasn't killed.

Stick: You lived? Praise God, it's a miracle. So you survive the truck and get this chemical shit in your eyes. What next?

Young Matt Murdock: I hear things.

Stick: What kind of things?

Young Matt Murdock: Everything. Coughs and fights and cats meowing. Sometimes blocks away. I can sense things. I know where things are and when they move. But I can't see.

Stick: You know what they call stuff like that? Gifts. The special kind. The kind that very few people have. Or deserve.

Young Matt Murdock: I never thought of it that way.

Stick: Well, that's because you're stupid.

Young Matt Murdock: I'm not stupid, I'm smart.

Stick: Because you taught yourself how to run your little fingers over the bumps and read Braille? Smart don't come out of books, kid. Smart is making the right decision at the right time. Like now. What's it gonna be, Matty? You gonna spend your life crying and rocking yourself to sleep at night? Or are you gonna dig deep and find out what it takes to reshuffle those cards life dealt you? Your call. [Matt looks at Stick] [chuckles] Good choice, kid.

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Growing up in the 80's, Bill Murray was one of my comic heroes.  As I am quite sure he still is for many fans of comedy.  But there is one particular film of his that is much more profound for its inherent nature of sharing many truths about the path to self improvement that it is given credit for.  The film is called ‘Groundhog Day’ and if you have yet to see it, I highly suggest carving out some time in the near future to do so!  

The film is also a wonderful representation of one of life's greatest gifts, that being the delectable DO OVER.  And for those of us who use this magnificent opportunity when in it presents itself in our lives, it is perhaps the most effective manner in which to be RE-BIRTHED into a Greater Version of The Greatest Vision of yourself!  

In the film, Bill Murray's character gets caught up in a ‘time loop’ that has him reliving the exact same day, Groundhog Day in fact, over and over.....and OVER again!  Each morning as he awakes, the day starts EXACTLY as it did the day before.  As he progresses  through each day, he is confronted at the same time by the exact set of individuals and circumstances from the day before.  A virtual life glitch that has no ON/OFF button he can find.  

Murray plays an obviously discontented meteorologist who believes the menial task of traveling to Punxsutawney, PA to cover this annual event is way beneath his talent and good sensibilities.  Like most films transcendent in nature, there are many lenses through which the manner in which the story unfolds can be interpreted.  For me, it is a superb metaphor for the way that the Universe, sensing a need, will essentially RECREATE a very similar set of circumstances in our lives from the past, giving us the opportunity to engage them(Hopefully) with a new earned sense of understanding and change in perspective;  basically we are given the gift of a DO OVER!   And very often, if the prerequisite lessons are not learned, the Universe has absolutely NO problem setting up the circumstances once again, until we finally grasp the knowledge that these events were provided for.  Some of us are perhaps slower learners than others, and that is OK!

The movie plays out such an example on DAY 3 of this perpetual GROUNDHOG DAY.  Murray's character once again steps in the middle of a large muddy puddle, ruining his shoes and pants, still not having learned his lesson from the previous two days.  Sound familiar?!  Filled with self judgement, he begins to despair his actions and choices in life.  Again, does that resonate with you?!  It sure does with me!  LOL  That night in a local bar, he decides to drown his sorrows with booze and says, “I was in the Virgin Islands once.  I met a girl.  We ate lobster and drank pina coladas.  At sunset we made love like sea otters. THAT was a pretty good day.  Why couldn't I get that day over and over again?”  Ah, but what lessons could be drawn from reliving a magnificent day such as that?  No, we receive FAR more wisdom and knowingness from reliving situations that caused us despair, pain, and suffering.  At at its core, that is exactly what a DO OVER is all about!

In fact, I am currently in the middle of a DO OVER myself.  And I couldn't be more THRILLED!  I mean how often have you even prayed for a chance to go back in time and relive a set of experiences, already knowing how you would engage them with a higher sense of care, consideration, and intent?  Well guess what, the Universe has this paradigm built into its programming.  And when there are certain lessons and knowledge that are needed to complete your Hero's/Heroine's Journey, the Universe, like a genie in a ‘life circumstantial’ bottle, will offer you the opportunity that you seek.  You will inevitably receive a DO OVER that mimics many of the same set of circumstances as something that has transpired before.  Just like MAGIC!  All in the hopes that THIS time, you will grasp the gift and opportunity at hand, and receive this gift with reverence and awareness!  

Murray's character Phil, after sensing there is nothing he can do but ACCEPT his situation of reliving each day over and over again, finally succumbs to his reticence about the situation and begins an arc of self improvement.  He begins practicing generosity, reading books, taking piano lessons, and even learning French!   Admittedly, many of his actions are at first all in an attempt to impress his producer Rita.   It isn't until Phil (Murray) begins to Let Go and Let God and allow the changes he has made in himself to be experienced and noticed by those around him in a truly authentic manner, that he wakes up and it is FINALLY February 3rd, the day AFTER Groundhog Day.  His lessons learned, his purpose now clear, he is allowed to continue on with his life!  

What I find quite fascinating, is that the film's late director and comic genius in his own right, Harold Ramis has been quoted as saying that Phil (Murray) needed close to 30-40 years of reliving the same day to  have the lessons he needed for his Hero's Journey to be fully engrained in his sense of BEING.  And as harsh as that may sound, I know that it has taken me decades to finally come to the understanding and full comprehension of many of my own life lessons!  There are many more I am still working on!   And, if you are truly honest with yourself, I am quite sure the same rings true for you!  Agreed?!  :0)

Life is a constant Journey, that allows us many opportunities for us to learn from our past mistakes and is more than gracious in sending us as many DO OVERS as we may need until we receive with deep reverence the knowledge and understanding at their core.  However, it is up to us to stay AWARE.  We are often so consumed with LIFE, that we are not present enough to recognize that circumstances are lining up in such a transformative and magical manner to allow us to relive our own version of Groundhog Day for the Re-memberance it can bring.  And when we are fortunate enough to have the Universe bless us with such a gift, enter into it with verve, gusto, and no fear!  Become a SOULdier of Love, and a Steward of Remembrance to extract every juicy amount of wisdom the opportunity was brought to unfold into your experience! 

And BE AWARE, if you chose NOT to learn from these blessed gifts of DO OVERS, they WILL RETURN.  So it's your call!  Do the work NOW, or later.  Either way, eventually it must be done!   
And take it from me, the longer you wait, the harder it is and the more it HURTS!  


Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

This ASPECT Of Your BEINGNESS Can Create MIRACLES....!!

Yesterday, I was watching an episode of Super Soul Sunday and a horrifying fact was presented that stopped me in my spiritual tracks.  It had to do with a recent Harvard University study that asked 10,000 high school students the following question.   If your parents were asked what mattered to them more, good grades or being nice and kind to others, what would they say?  And do you know that 80% said that their parents would say grades without hesitation.  Are you KIDDING me?!?  I literally became sick to my stomach while watching this part of the episode.  Not to mention extremely saddened by what I was hearing.  Mind you, in many ways I wasn't surprised, as we have become such a hyper competitive society where the “Best of the Best”  are rewarded and given the royal treatment and the key to many of their dreams while the rest of us search for the left over morsels and scraps.  

The episode profiled David Brooks and his book ‘The Road to Character.’  His humble demeanor and obvious self awareness won me over instantly.  “I wrote this book to save my own soul. I was born with a natural disposition toward shallowness.  I now work as a pundit and columnist and blowheart, to volley my opinions, ....I have to work harder than most people to avoid a life of smug superficiality,” he writes.  

He recalls an experience he had in Frederick , MD where he met with a group of women in their 50's and 60's who all taught immigrants English.  Over taken by their compassion and kindness, and the manner in which they accepted him with love and joyful openness had a deep effect on his Soul.  And this began a transformative change in his life.  His inner being was shown glimpses of the LIGHT that surrounds us all but is taken in and shared by few.  

According to Brooks, Fame is the new definition of character.  Which is in and of itself a declaration of our society at its basic level in our current times.  That same Harvard study asked how many people thought they were  going to be famous and the answer was 80%.  Compared to just 10% back in the 1950's when the same same survey was done.  The times they are a changin!! And much of it stems from our lack of true integrity and CHARACTER!  

So what are the basic tenets that make up a Character that we can all strive towards in our daily lives. While some of Brooks answers to this question are quite basic, they are pragmatic and useful as well. For instance, he says one commonality he sees in people of great character is “consistency over time. Despite lust, greed, or hunger,  the things that lead one's character are long term like honesty and courage.  They can be counted on over time.”  

Accurate self awareness from a distance is yet another tenet Brooks thinks is missing from our current generational makeup.  We are all in competition for fame and noticeability.  Hello KARDASHIANS!!  “The noise of fast and shallow communications makes it harder to hear the quiet sounds that emanate from the depths.   We live in a culture that teaches us to promote and advertise ourselves and master the skills required for success , but that gives little encouragement for humility, sympathy and honest self confrontation which are necessary for building character,” he declares in his book.

Even our vernacular has changed dramatically over the last 50 years.  A study done has shown that words like kindness, humbleness, gratitude, and honor have dropped over 60% in our daily usage.  SCARY!!  Yet economic terms have risen by over 80%.  

The episode also highlighted individuals who helped build this country on the backs of their moral character.  People like Doris Day, who dedicated her entire life toward helping those in need.  Paying herself no salary throughout her entire life.  Don't get me wrong, there are indeed sweet souls on our planet who use their every ounce of BEINGNESS in the name of service.  But like chivalry, it is slowly becoming a relic for our history books rather than a new generation of individuals who we can write stories about in our current tales of moral character and integrity.  

“What suffering does is it takes us below the everydayness of life and reminds us we are not who we think we are. It carves beneath what is the basement of our soul, carves through the floor and reveals the cavity below.  It introduces us to ourselves.”

New Age Nerd readers know that this principle is something I espouse in most of my daily blogs.  That is through our suffering that we gain our selves.  That our pain leads to our power, our wounds heal to reveal our wisdom.  And in my humble option , this is the beginning stages of true CHARACTER.  To have the strength to face our own demons having NO idea what lies on the other side.  But having the FAITH to travel to these dark and morose places anyway, with the KNOWINGNESS that our purpose is seeded within the darkness.  Those with the greatest CHARACTER have the ability to face these shadows knowing that the end result will be their ability to help and assist others to do the same.  

Let's stop playing the Fame game.  The Shame game.  The Fear Game.   And start building back the type of individual CHARACTER that can be one of the saving graces of our current times.  What do ya think?!?  Can you think of ways that you can improve your character in ways large and or small and be an INSPIRATION for others.  If I may suggest one thing, it would be to put our priorities in order.  The POWER of Love must TRUMP the Love of Power.  Are you following your passion?  How much time are you spending toward actions of service toward Re-minding others who they truly are and what they truly have the ability to be.  Stop trading time for a paycheck from work that does not serve you.  Or others in any real meaningful way.  And be an example of the type of CHARACTER that allowed this world to flourish during times when there was much less money and technology than we have today..........


Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

UNDERSTAND Why People Are TREATING You EXACTLY How You Are TEACHING Them To..!!

TODAY'S INSPIRATIONAL “MYTHOLOGICAL MAGIC”

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One of the most common issues I am confronted with by my clients is the manner in which they are BEING treated by others.  Be it their spouse, co-workers, family members, or friends, it certainly seems to be an EPIC problem.  And it's completely understandable.  We all would like to be treated with respect, kindness, and love.  As Oprah has stated over and over again, the ONE common trait she has found on her Journey meeting with people from all over the world is their DESIRE to be seen and heard with respect.

But before we jump into the discussion of how others are treating you, it is absolutely vital to acknowledge how YOU are treating YOU.  When was the last time you spent quality time checking in with yourSELF on such important topics such as what are your core values, beliefs, and feelings; especially with regards to how you are using these emotions and thoughts and how they relate toward your own sense of SELF worth.  Would you agree that it is quite challenging to ask others to treat you in a manner that you don't even treat YOURSELF?   I would say HECK YES!    

Here are a few important questions you can ask yourself.  What is your Code of Conduct system?  Do you even have one?  What is your ideal vision for a true CO-Creational relationship?   What are your boundaries regarding the way you desire to be treated?  Do you have a defined value system for yourSELF?  What does respect mean to you? 

I know all to well from my own personal experience how damaging NOT having answers to these questions can be for our interpersonal relationships.  The reason being is THAT WE TEACH OTHERS HOW WE WANT TO BE TREATED.   Re-read that last sentence.  It will be one of the most important tenets to your happiness and success in your lifetime!  

My birth father abandoned our family when I was just 3 years of age.  And the long lasting affect it had on my psyche was devastating.  I consequently grew up being absolutely terrified that if I stood up for myself in situations that I knew were not being respectful of my feelings, the person would leave.  So by MY actions of NOT saying anything, I was actually teaching people it was A-OK to treat me in such a hurtful and disrespectful manner.  And it took me a LONG time to gain the sense of self LOVE to in a sense re-teach others how I desired to be treated.  And it was FAR from easy to do so.  Once people get accostomed to to treating you in a familiar manner, trying to undue this behavior can cause some friction, to say the least!  

In fact, it took me into my 30's to truly redefine my own sense of Core Conduct and develop a deep rooted and overwhelming degree of SELF LOVE.  The type that compassionately sets the tone with others.  And what a difference did it make!  I now make it very clear to my personal Tribe members what I expect in our co-creations and make DAMN sure I do my part in returning the sense of love, respect, and kindness I seek for myself!

Plus, with way of the Universal Law of Attraction, we actually attract people who are going to treat us EXACTLY how we treat ourselves.  Haven't you been witness to many a friend who continues to attract the same ‘wolf in sheep's clothing ’ in their personal relationships?!?  It's because like attracts like.  I love the saying “Likes tend to last!”  And they DO!  No doubt about it!

And here is something else that is so vital to remember when we DO attract people into our life who cause us emotional pain and discomfort.  They are actually providing us with a wonderful gift.   They are shining a light on the areas within YOU that still need LOVE and attention.  That's right!  They are showing you where healing still needs to be done.  That doesn't mean we need to keep them in our life forever, but instead of reacting outwardly toward them in a non compassionate manner, thank them internally for the gift they came to give you and then realize it is perfectly OK to love them from the other side of the room if their behavior continues.  

Another important thing to remember is that people are not mind readers.  One tweak that has created miracles in my personal relationships is actually sharing with others how I need them show up for me in certain situations.  Most individuals tend to go into ‘fix it mode’ when we come to them with our problems.  When very often, all we need is for them to listen.  But we rarely share this information with them.  So  I urge you to start implementing this technique into your relationships and see the MIRACLES that start to manifest!

The last suggestion I will impart on this topic has to do with conflict resolution skills.  Sophia Nelson, a writer for the Huffington Post said it brilliantly, “This is critical — you must surround yourself with people again who have a similar code. I like to TALK things out. I think it is essential to talk before you walk. No matter how uncomfortable, or challenging, at some point mature adults have to talk about their differences and seek to resolve them peaceably in ways that make us better, wiser people. I detest (and I mean detest) people who do wrong things and cannot own their mistakes, apologize and grow up. I do not suffer people lightly who cause drama, then exit out, leaving others to clean up their mess or to have other left holding the emotional baggage of the wounds they have caused. Find out how people resolve conflicts before you get attached to them or in business dealings with them.”

I hope this information will help you move forward in all your relationships with a better mutually understanding of common respect, compassion, and fellowship.  The kind this world desperately needs!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

Learn How to PLAY The CARDS Life Has DEALT You ....!!

TODAY'S “MYTHOLOGICAL MAGIC”

I have never been the best player of card games.  I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve, which means my ‘Poker Face’ is less mercurial and more merciful.  Thankfully, through tons of missteps and rebirths, I have learned to be a much better player with the cards I am dealt by life! THANK  YOU SPIRIT!

However, not everyone wakes up on a daily basis and looks at the cards that were dealt into their experience and thinks, “Heck yeah!  I can win with this hand!  Damn straight!”  More often their inner monologue sounds more like, “Oh boy!  Why me?  What the heck am I supposed to do with this pile of crap I've been dealt?!”  Sound familiar?  I know I've felt that way more than a few times.

I believe one of the biggest differences between success and failure is how you choose to play the hand of cards/experiences you have been dealt.  It's important to understand during our own Hero's/Heroine's Journey that we succeed because of our challenges NOT despite them.  As Napoleon Hill famously stated, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache brings with it an equal seed of benefit and opportunity.”

In fact, Joseph Campbell shared in his infinite wisdom, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”  He taught the importance of seeing your EXACT set of circumstances as being the most precious gift ever given to each and every one of us.  Because in the history of this world, NOBODY has been besought with the same set of challenges as you have been given.  And guess what, your exact set of challenges will never be the same for ANYONE else ever again.  That is how absolutely and completely UNIQUE you were created to BE.  Kinda helps shift your perspective on your life's ‘opportunities for growth’ doesn't it!  

One of my favorite stories from Mr. Campbell has to do with the Knights of the Round Table.  Before this group of Medieval Superheroes awaited their next quest, they would surround a table full of food and drink and wait for a sign of where they were to go next.  One particular such evening, the Holy Grail appeared above the table before them, burning with its light of majestic glory.  And then, without warning, its image vanished.  Each Knight stood up, ready to search for this relic of such grandeur!  They grabbed their shields and swords and headed outside the castle and ran toward the massive forest surrounding them.  The most fascinating aspect of their quest was that they each tried to enter the forest at its most DENSE space.  In fact, the competition to find the space that was the most challenging to enter was fierce and combative.  For these Knights knew that every great quest begins with the greatest of difficulty.  They actually CHOSE to take on the toughest hand of cards that could be dealt to them.  For they were aware of the great wisdom and knowingness that comes from pain and strife.  That's why my definition of SUFFER is :

Summoning our
Ultimate
Fears &
Frailty
Encouraging
Rebirth

I was watching a story about the Saint Benedict's Preparatory School for boys last week in Newark, NJ.  The school has recently become a sanctuary for the lost and wayward.  The area surrounding this  citadel has a high school graduation rate of less than 30%.  Yet the graduation rate at St. Benedict's is 98%.  Even though the majority of the students are underprivileged, the tuition rate is $10K a year.  The majority of the students do not have the funds to cover their schooling costs, yet this spiritual institution somehow covers every students tuition in someway.  Where there is a will there is truly a way!

There was a portion of the story that touched me so deeply that I have to share it.  There was a 16 year old young man whose parents were both drug addicts and horribly abusive to him in their household.  It was tumultuous enough that he decided to leave his house, and live on the street.  A tough hand of cards for most of us to even fathom.  Yet this purposeful young man had BIG plans for his life.  Despite his numerous challenges, he decided he was going to play the cards he was dealt with a passion for success and a fervor for service and potential.  So he started sneaking into the water polo after school practices at the school.  For several weeks, nobody noticed that he wasn't a member of this prestigious academy.  However, one day, a coach approached him and asked him why he was sneaking into the school's sporting practices.  The young man said his parents were drug addicts and he had been living on the street for over three months.  He knew he didn't have the tuition money to attend the school, so he decided the best he could do was take advantage of the extracurricular activities.   When the young man asked the coach if he should leave, do you know what his response was to this brave individual.  “BE HERE MONDAY!”  And I thought, what a perfect mantra for our lives.  No matter what challenges we face, or what fear and pain stand in our way, the most courageous way to turn our pain into PURPOSE, is simply to commit to BE HERE MONDAY.  

What are the ways you can reframe the cards you have currently been dealt in life and turn them into a winning hand?  Because, you were dealt these cards for a reason.  And it is your job to figure out where there are opportunities for a deeper KNOWINGNESS through your challenges to assist you on your Hero's/Heroine's Journey!  And in turn eventually share this knowledge for all of us to benefit from!  Now that's a hand worth playing in anyone's poker table!!

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez

A TRIBUTE To MY Father and Those Fathers Still With US.............

TODAY'S INSPIRATIONAL “MYTHOLOGICAL MAGIC’

_______________________________________________

Some believe that angels are ordinary souls who come into your life to help you believe in MIRACLES again.  If this sentiment bares any truth, than I met my first ANGEL when I was a young lad of just 3 years of age.   My birth father had abandoned our family while we were living out in California, leaving my mom with two small children, little use of her right arm from a horrendous car accident, and absolutely no money.  But as Napoleon Hill always said, “Within every adversity, every failure, and every heartache there lies within it a seed of an equal or greater opportunity.”

Opportunity comes in many forms.  And often NOT wrapped in the way we would have ever imagined them to be.  Such was the case with Roger Lee Poston!  I first met this slice of Heaven when my mom moved my sister and I from California to Washington DC shortly after my birth father left our tribe.  He was a young man of 25 and was friends with my mom's sister, as they were both teachers just starting out on their career Journey's.  Although we were in many ways an unlikely dynamic duo, it was absolutely ‘Friends at First Sight.’  He was a good ole' country boy from the pan handle of Virginia; think “The Beverly Hillbillies” sans the ‘Beverly’ part.  He had thick, curly hair and despite his very best efforts, a dialect that was laced with the Southern twang while growing up in a little town called Saltville, known as the ‘salt capital’ of the Confederacy during the Civil War.  His face was quite pale; in fact I always teased him that he had three colors: white, red, and redder!  LOL  Pop was short and stocky with forearms and calves that rivaled those of Popeye.  

His aesthetic contrasted greatly with mine.  I was super skinny with straight, jet black hair and olive skin.  I was also painfully shy and introverted (hard for anyone who knows me now to contemplate)
and due to the harsh traumas from early childhood,  TRUST was an emotion that felt foreign to my sensibility.  I had been surrounded and raised by women until this extraordinary man appeared in my life.  Suddenly, I was being thrust into the world of ‘guy stuff’ on a daily basis.  From comic books and Slurpees, to movies and batting cages, putt-putt golf and Spiderman early morning cartoons. The world suddenly exploded into a cacophony of glorious geekdom and more importantly LOVE!  

And it wasn't just me, as he showered my sister, mother, and the rest of the Lapham clan with the same sense of love and reverence.  So when my mom set my sister and I down to let us know he had asked her to marry him, for the first time in my young life, my heart felt a sense of PEACE, and security.  I finally felt......... SAFE.  

I still remember the very first time I was able to garner the courage to call him DAD.   He was getting ready for work, and I paced back and forth just outside his bedroom door;  practicing all the while the manner in which I was going to approach him about it.  I placed my ear up to the door and could hear him just about to emerge into the rec-room.  My palms were so sweaty and my heart was literally pounding out from my chest.  Until, the door opened and as he walked out of the bedroom, I tentatively stepped in front of him and looked him square in the eye.   

“I have a question for you,” I said in a hushed voice.  It took all the intestinal fortitude I could muster, my bottom lip quivering just a bit, before finally garnering the courage to ask “Is it OK if I call you Dad?”

He stayed silent for a few precious moments, which seemed like a lifetime. He placed his right hand on my shoulder and said “Jeff, I have been waiting for you to ask me that for several years.  And there is nothing in this world that would make me happier!”  He then pulled me in for one of his well known bear hugs and he started to cry.  And then tears started from my own relieved core.

But it is what he said next that has been permanently imprinted into my reverence and Re-membramce of him.  “Jeff, just promise me one thing,” he said.  “Although I will ALWAYS consider you to be my son, if the day comes where you choose to try and meet Danny (my birthfather) I will always support you.  He was part of the process that brought you to me, and for that I will always hold a space of GRATITUDE for Danny in my heart, and I will until the day I die.”  Now it's one thing to utter such good intentions, but my Dad did something I consider to be one of the most powerful testaments of reverence I have EVER received. Despite many of the ugly acts that Danny brought about us in the years that followed, Dad NEVER once spoke even ONE word of judgement or ill-will towards him.   I knew it was out of respect and still ponder in a complete vibration of AWE whenever I think about this act of unfathomable reverence for a man who caused my family so much pain.   

I contribute SO MUCH of who I AM to this man of undeniable STRENGTH and authenticity.  He taught me what it means to live life as a MAN.  Here is just a sampling of his teachings to me:

~~  Never be afraid of your emotions Jeff.  One of the greatest signs of inner strength and courage is  to not be afraid to cry.  In fact, I think as a whole, we shed more tears at the movies to fill an olympic sized swimming pool!

~~Women are the greatest gift to this world.  And should be treated as such.  If I ever find out you have mistreated  a young lady, I will ‘kick you through the goalposts of life.’   If you want to find out what that looks like, test me!   lol

~~ Don't EVER let anyone confuse your kindness for weakness.  They are NOT the same thing.  Buyer beware!

Looking back, my Dad was the very first Superhero I ever met.  Not only did he work two, sometimes three jobs to put food on the table, but HE NEVER CALLED IN SICK IN 40 YEARS.
I never ONCE heard him complain even when I could see the toll of working 70 hour work weeks for over 30 years wearing him down to the bone.  He was a true warrior who lived a life that was completely personified by hard work and being of SERVICE always and in all ways.   

This may be hard to believe, but I never saw him buy ANYTHING for himself.  He was much more concerned with making sure his students had anything they needed, and was quick to think of others in a quick trip to the mall.  “Hell fire Jeff.  The only thing I truly need is the love of your mother, you and Sandy,” (my sister) was his superhero catchphrase!   

Always a man of his word, he never let me down ONE time during our 40 year relationship.  And he didn't even need a Batsignal.  His Spidey-sense was always set to surprise and service.  Back in 1997 when I spent almost a year in the hospital battling Crohn's disease, he came for a visit EVERY SINGLE DAY.  All while working two jobs.  And I mean it, Dad never skipped one day! Always sneaking in a tasty treat or a comic book or one of my favorite films.  

So in 2013, when he was diagnosed with a rare and devastating form of cancer, I had no problem leaving my job and moving into my parent's basement to help with his massive amount of daily care taking.  Although he fought the dis-ease so valiantly, the cancer eventually spread to his brain.  And he passed away in December of the same year.  

I was fortunate enough to be alongside his bed while he passed away.  In fact, my mom, sister, aunt Rena, and my girlfriend at the time were all there holding vigil over him.  The manner in which he transitioned was as close to a MIRACLE as I have ever seen.  With only the use of one eye, he was truly able to connect to everyone there.  He stared lovingly at each of us as we said our individual goodbyes.  But when he got to my side of the bed, his one eye intently glaring into mine without blinking, I felt .....  HEAVEN.   His soul was almost fully there and you could feel the utter BLISS, while a precious piece remained so we could say goodbye.  While I leaned in close to him, thanking him for all the LOVE, support and guidance he poured upon me, something magical happened.  I received a quick glimpse of a future period of NOW.  Without saying a word, he was communicating with me in a manner far more clear than using any type of vernacular.  The best way I can explain it is to think of a portal opening up.  It contained images of what my life was to become.  And the message was crystal clear.  It was time for me to start committing to my own PURPOSE and beginning the next stage of my Hero's Journey.  I felt a sense of peace and KNOWINGNESS in that moment of what I needed to do.  

Dad took three, slow, deep breathes, and then transitioned back into the LOVE of BLISS.  And although I was understandably sad, he had, in those final moments, given me the greatest gift of all! KNOWINGNESS.  It was time for me to use my pain and suffering to become a Wounded Healer.  And for once, I wasn't afraid to take that leap.  My dad showed me a glimpse of the support behind the ‘Curtain of Oz.’ I would receive.   And partaking from the SOURCE energy his transition provided to me in my dad's final breathes, I just KNEW the complete shift I was being asked to take in my life!

So today I honor you Dad.  I MISS you more than you can imagine.  And know you hear my daily prayers to you.  And I have the complete understanding that so much of the amazing miracles and magic that have filled up my life since your passing is being orchestrated by you!   Because your Love knows NO BOUNDARIES!

And to all the Fathers in the world, may today bring you a sense of your unmeasurable worth to us all!  There is absolutely no measure to the strength, courage, beauty, leadership, and LOVE you shower up the Cosmos...................

Nerdmaste,

Jeffrey Louis Martinez